GTA V: The Ballad of the Collector's Edition

Everyone's talking about it, your Facebook newsfeed is most likely filled with it, and guys are having a hard time remembering their girlfriends' names. Had enough yet? Too bad... here's another update on GTA V, now that I've finally got some time for an update - yet not enough time to play since I'm leaving for work in an hour - and I've finally slept just enough to be able to concentrate a little.

The local GameStop's arrangements for the midnight launch of Grand Theft Auto V had its ups and downs. I went in 10 P.M. and since I've never taken part in their midnight launches, I thought that as a customer who had pre-ordered the game, I was supposed to go there and register or something. I stood in line for a few tens of minutes until I realized that the people there were actually pre-ordering the game right there and then. There were a few others like me who had pre-ordered the game in the hallway, sitting down with a book or lying down and listening to music. Well, I'm too old to be standing in a line or setting up a camp in the hallway for anything. I'll go to the nearest bar, drink a couple of beers and play some Yahtzee on my smartphone to kill time. I'm supposed to go to work at 6 A.M. - I'm sure that when I come back at midnight, I'll get the game quickly, as it's first come, first served. I've no intention of going to sleep once I get home, it's gonna be an allnighter baby, yeah. I have plenty of hours to play.

Well, the "first come, first served" part was bullshit. The guys that pre-ordered the game just before the launch got the game first! They got these green, numbered slips when they made the payment, and set up a line of their own, and that line was long as fuck, even longer than the line formed by us angry and frustrated folk who had pre-ordered the game months ago. We just became more angry and frustrated when we realized that both clerks behind the counter served that one line, and guys from that line kept passing us by with stupid smiles on their faces and game in hand for about an hour - an hour which we stood in the exact same spot with some random dude, watching as those last-minute fuckers one-upped us. At about half past midnight, the _real_ pre-order line finally started to move, and all things considered, I was feeling pretty good, after all I was going to get a huge fucking box in my hands that said "Rockstar Games Presents Grand Theft Auto V - Collector's Edition". It's gotta be worth the wait; I just read the first reviews before leaving home and for once, I actually believed the straight tens. After all, it's GTA. Now hand me that box.

Well, the manager - an extremely cool dude, by the way - read through my receipt and gave me a bad look, saying he's sorry. I was like "oh no, you don't"... and then he said something about my other pre-orders and how this little mishap he was about to admit probably wouldn't affect me all that much. He went into the storage room, and brought me the Collector's Edition box... for the Xbox 360. Yeah well, that does affect me, 'cause I specifically wanted the PlayStation 3 version. Not because of the technological advantages, but because of my personal code of a consistent game collection - I have Grand Theft Auto IV on the PS3, in accordance to my code I wouldn't accept having V on the Xbox 360. But before I could say anything, the manager held up a copy of the Special Edition for the PS3, and told me that because of a severe problem in logistics, the board had decided that buyers of the PS3 Collector's Edition will get an Xbox 360 version of the Collector's Edition, AND the PS3 Special Edition as a freebie, with the huge bundle of downloadable Collector's Edition content available via an extra code. So, I essentially got everything I paid for, since this "version" of the PS3 Special Edition had everything any Collector's Edition had, with the exception of the huge box and most of the memorabilia. What to do?

One game, two editions. Hmm.

I got home (at about half past 1) and reflected on which copy I should keep to myself and which one I should get rid of. The visual advantages of the Collector's Edition were obvious, but after reflecting on the whole picture, so was the decision. I decided to strip the Collector's Edition of all the memorabilia that came with it, 'cause that's what I paid for, and keep the Special Edition. Why? Well... first of all, I need to stick to my code. Secondly, GTA Online is coming soon - the first MMO game I've ever felt the need to play, and I'm not fucking paying for LIVE Gold to be able to touch it. Thirdly, realistically, where would I put that damn thing? The Special Edition fits my shelf a "little" better - that huge Collector's box has "just decoration" written all over it anyway, and I'm not putting the steelbook on the shelf, since it doesn't have the Xbox 360 tag on its end label. If you find me a little neurotic, that's OK - I am, about certain things. But, you should meet my girl. Or my sister. They're much worse. And one terrible combo.

So, I kept the Special Edition, despite my initial reluctance; again, and especially since I stripped the Xbox 360 version of all its valuables and since it includes the Collector's DLC courtesy of GameStop, it's essentially the same thing. It just fits the shelf a whole lot better. I bundled up everything that remained from the Xbox 360 version - the blueprint map of San Andreas, the steelbook, and of course, another batch of those same DLC codes - as a "Jukka Edition" and put it on sale for €50 on Facebook. I was immediately bombarded with responses, as expected; I forgot to mention which platform I was selling it for, though, and had to turn a lot of PS3 hopefuls away. I also had to turn away a lot of folk who weren't excited of the fact that they were not getting the original packaging - more neurotics, it seems I'm not alone! Well, then one of my buddies I know through work finally contacted me and told me he'll take it, and that he's not worried about the stripped edition, he's not that much into visuals. If he'll get the game in any sort of casing, an extra map and the DLC codes, he'll gladly pay the 50 euros. Happy end.

The Collector's Edition, unboxed (and
stripped to the bone).

As always with a game this huge, I've already started writing the review, after finishing a mere 30% of the game (not just the story) in about 13-14 hours of in-game time. I'm not telling you _anything_ substantial just yet, but I can tell you that Rockstar's definitely made it back on track after a couple of good, but comparatively weak titles. I dare not say when this huge-ass review will make it online, but when it does, you'll know it; I've got a ton of things to say about it, in contrast to my previous GTA reviews which were kinda short. In other words, it's going to be fucking gigantic, so gigantic that it's probably going to have the largest ups/downs list ever, to spare you the trouble of reading through the whole thing.