REVIEW - Spider-Man | N64 | 2000

GENRE(S): Action
RELEASED: August 24, 2000 (PS1)
AVAILABLE ON: DC, MAC, N64, PC, PS1
DEVELOPER(S): Neversoft Entertainment, Treyarch Invention (DC), Westlake Interactive (MAC), Edge of Reality (N64), LTI Gray Matter (PC)
PUBLISHER(S): Activision, Aspyr Media (MAC)

A lot of quality superhero games have emerged in the last decade, the most notable occurrence of a great triumph being Batman's return to the circles with 2009's Batman: Arkham Asylum. However, before the emergence of undoubtedly the greatest series of licensed games ever made, critics were enjoying the hell out of Spider-Man. Activision have taken it upon themselves to produce a long string of Spider-Man games, based on both the comic books as well as Sam Raimi's movie trilogy, and for most of these games, they have enjoyed a raving response, most notably 2004's Spider-Man 2, which is often regarded as a very influential sandbox game and one of the greatest licensed games in history, and 2010's surreal Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions. Due to the existence of another Activision game entitled Spider-Man, based on the movie and released in 2002, modern gamers tend to forget the first fruit of Activision's successful revival of the ever-exciting webslinger, which arrived to please PlayStation owners in the summer of 2000. A few months later, Nintendo 64 owners got a taste of what critics were calling the best superhero game ever made at that time. I'm pleased to say time's been fairly kind to Spider-Man.

Along came THE spider

STARRING
Rino Romano : Spider-Man
Daran Norris : Scorpion / Venom / Mysterio / Punisher / Captain America / Human Torch
Dee Bradley Baker : Rhino / Lizard / Carnage / Daredevil / J. Jonah Jameson
Efrem Zimbalist, Jr. : Doctor Octopus
Jennifer Hale : Black Cat / Mary Jane Watson
Laurence Fishburne : Uatu the Watcher
Stan Lee : Narrator

While attending a demonstration held by Dr. Otto Octavius - who seems to have changed his ways - Peter Parker witnesses a Spider-Man impostor crashing the show and stealing Octavius' invention. A manhunt is issued for Spider-Man, who is after the true culprits on a manhunt of his own. Meanwhile, Venom kidnaps Mary Jane and all hell breaks loose all around the city as several supervillains start running rampant. It's one gigantic Marvel Comics showdown, and we're part of it.

Settle down, Edward.

Let's get this over and dealt with right away, since I'm probably going to cross-reference Spider-Man with a certain game as long as I'm writing this review: I am NOT trying to take anything away from Batman: Arkham Asylum. I am NOT trying to belittle its importance or influence in the history of licensed games, or more specifically, superhero games. Now that I've played Spider-Man, though, I must ask this: was every greatest feat of Batman: Arkham Asylum completely fresh? It had near-perfect gameplay, a wide array of classic characters who made an appearance at some capacity, great look and particularly fantastic sound. But, these exact things are what Spider-Man was built on, back at its time - NINE YEARS before Batman: Arkham Asylum. Think about it... and once you've done that, remind yourself that no one beats Batman. Not ever. Also, how cool it was to step into that madhouse with its mad inhabitants and crazy occurrences over and over again. God, I so want to replay that game... again. And also, that this game is very different from Arkham Asylum, being a straightforward (stealth) action game above everything else. Of course it's dated, but what bothers me more is that it's very light-hearted - almost campy. I don't like that. As much as I like the idea of Stan Lee himself narrating the game, it sounds the same as if Adam West narrated Arkham Asylum. (Was this little joke the whole point of this comparison? Don't know.)

If you're prepared to see a host of your favourite Marvel characters (a LOT of them, including curiosities like Namor and Silver Surfer) reduced into sculptures of rock and wood very typical to a Nintendo 64 game, you might appreciate the artificial look of the game. They could've at least stylized the cutscenes to resemble a comic book story, but no, they put the blockheads in. Oh well, what the game loses in artificials, it gains in animation - the animation is simply superb. For the first time ever in a Spider-Man game, you truly feel like you're Spider-Man, the character animation is so fluid and goes well with the fluid controls - however, I must once again criticize the N64 controller, which should come as no surprise to anyone who's ever read my reviews of third-party N64 games. This is one of the first of those third-party games I've bumped into, to sport real voice acting - by Spider-Man veterans, at that, including Rino Romano and Efrem Zimbalist, Jr.. Of course, N64's capacity can't handle a full voiceover track, especially for a full 3D game in which you're able to move on just about any surface in a full 3D environment. Sounds awesomely contrary to what I said before about the game's artificial look, but you should know that most of the environment is empty space - there's such a lack of detail that you'd think the game was broken.

Spider-Man manages to impress with just about everything except for the quick glance... oh, and the camerawork, as well. It's simply rancid, especially when you zip up to ceilings, in which cases the camera automatically pans up to inside the ceiling instead of staying on your back. Since the camera buttons are used for something wholly else than controlling the camera, you'll just have to wait for the camera to stabilize automatically, or alternatively aim at something.

As blocky as she is, Black Cat's stirring up
something downstairs. Or maybe it's just
Jennifer Hale's voice.

Once you learn to use the camera buttons (one's for a punch, one's for a kick, one's for a straight-ahead webshot) without trying each one each time 'til you hit the right one, and beat a few levels, you'll most likely find beauty in this game. The levels are loosely based on actual comic book stories, interwoven as smaller stories into the game's exclusive plot - hmmm, Arkham Asylum again! It's awesome, not to mention authentic. The occasional voice acting is always on the mark; I'm once again bothered by the messed up proportions between Felicia Hardy's gigantic breasts and blocky head, but I'm done with the graphics. The way the fluid gameplay, thematic levels and the light-hearted, yet plausible voiceover work provide you with that genuine Spidey feel are much more important elements than anything meeting the eye.

The actual tutorial sequence of the game is quite short; the action begins almost immediately and the game is quite challenging from the very beginning. The enemies' A.I. isn't really that good, and I guess the developers deliberately toned it down a further bit to prevent the game from becoming unreasonable. You see, in the very beginning of the game there's this room full of hostages and enemy guards, and you pretty much need to incapacitate the guards one at a time, and do it quickly and quietly, 'cause one slip-up to just slightly alert just one guard results in game over, and checkpoints are not this game's strong suit. You haven't necessarily learned everything about the game just yet, it's like the ultimate test. You could say it's a part of the tutorial, 'cause after that sequence, you'll have inevitably learned each skill you absolutely need to beat the game. It might be a little unforgiving start for the game, but trust me: you'll want to go on. Once again, I can't help but to direct you towards the PlayStation version of the game, but this time, the Nintendo 64 version isn't all that bad, since it isn't a hectic beat 'em up (like it well could be), the type of game which I really hate playing on the Nintendo 64.

Stand still, dude.

As absurd as it sounds, Spider-Man runs on the same engine as Neversoft's breakthrough megahit Tony Hawk's Pro Skater, and like that game, Spider-Man has (relatively speaking) tons of goodies and modes for you to unlock upon multiple playthroughs or using a cheat. There are several different costumes for Spider-Man, and if you're into something more substantial, there's the surreal "What If?" mode for you to experience. Although the game pretty much plays out the same in this mode, the narrator changes from Stan Lee to Uatu the Watcher (voiced by Laurence Fishburne), and there are even much more curious Marvel cameos for you to spot than in the "real" game. Completing Spider-Man isn't the end, and as a game, it's got quite enough content to keep you glued to the sofa for quite a long bit.

Spider-Man (whether you want to call it Spider-Man 2000 or in this case, Spider-Man 64 - anything to clearly separate it from inferior games that share the title) was the best Spider-Man game of its time, for sure, and still a damn entertaining, recommendable superhero game. Things are finally looking up.

UPS
+ Innovative and fluid full 3D gameplay spiced up with stealth action
+ A very authentic Spider-Man feel; actual storylines fitted into a new plot, voiceover work performed by people who worked on the animated shows, etc.
+ A huge cast of who's who in the Marvel Universe, with appearances by the Punisher, the Ghost Rider, the Fantastic Four and Captain America, just to name a few
+ Unlockables that Marvel fans will surely appreciate

DOWNS
- Blocky graphics kinda degrade the experience, especially the cutscenes
- Authentic, yet kinda campy
- The haywire camera comes this close to ruining everything all the time
- Both Green Goblin (although referenced) and Hobgoblin are out of the otherwise impressive fray

< 8.4 >

REVIEW - 007: The World Is Not Enough | N64 | 2000

GENRE(S): FPS / Action
RELEASED: October 17, 2000
AVAILABLE ON: N64
DEVELOPER(S): Eurocom Developments
PUBLISHER(S): EA

Due to poor reception to EA's third-person shooter based on Tomorrow Never Dies, they went back to the golden roots of Rare and Nintendo's GoldenEye 007 with The World Is Not Enough, ordering two slightly different versions of the game for the PlayStation and the Nintendo 64. Although they had all the resources to work and improve on what was truly wrong about the successful GoldenEye, such as control issues, they ended up wasting them on things the target group didn't need. Basing the game on a crappy movie didn't help.

GoldenEye was enough

STARRING
Tim Bentinck : James Bond
David Robb : Renard
Sumalee Montano : Elektra King
Caron Pascoe : Dr. Christmas Jones
Henrietta Bass : Moneypenny
Miles Anderson : R
Adam Blackwood : Valentin Zukovsky
Andrew Burt : Sir Robert King
Beatie Edney : Dr. Natalya Damescu
Tim Whitnall : Davidov

British oil tycoon Sir Robert King is killed by a terrorist named Renard, who is planning to trigger a nuclear meltdown in Istanbul. 007 is tasked with thwarting Renard's plans, as well as keeping King's beautiful daughter Elektra safe from harm.

I simply hated this movie. It was wholly placed on Pierce Brosnan's shoulders and went back to the staleness which plagued the franchise from time to time up until Licence to Kill. The staleness wouldn't be that bad if we had a less stale guy than Pierce Brosnan for a lead. George Lazenby was boring, but he only did one movie, which had a good script. Timothy Dalton was a douche, but he had at least one damn good script to back him up during his short stint. GoldenEye had a good script. Here we have a stale, boring script, with a boring lead. Ehhh. Well, at least it had two extremely beautiful women for Bond girls... or one truly beautiful woman who seems to age like wine, and one who now looks like a dumpster fire. What happened to Denise Richards, seriously?

The Shining, Part 2: Danny's Got a Gun.

The game looks better than GoldenEye 007, but not really all that much. Besides, the level design is not nearly as inspired. The soundtrack is once again missing the theme song, which is replaced by dozens of unmemorable stock tunes from the "Action/Adventure" drawer.

In a statement eerily reminiscent of the development of the movie franchise, The World Is Not Enough is a very uninspired game; everything good about it is ripped straight off GoldenEye, and the rest is out of place. Sure, I like having my objectives told to me straight instead of having to dig them up from a menu - that's what I was complaining about the last time. I just wish there'd be less than a million of them at once, and I also wish most of them wouldn't be some blatant make-believe that this would be anything more or less than a first-person shooter. Fetch this, fetch that, talk to this guy, talk to that guy... it's all just for a formulaic, cinematic value. We came here to shoot people. Not suffer through boring games of unarmed fetch if they're for nothing but pushing the story forward. People can go and see the movie for that, this is supposed to be a game. A smooth, consistent one. Regardless of the genre, consistency matters.

Since EA's The World Is Not Enough is such a carbon copy of Rare's GoldenEye 007, with crappy attempts at "extra gameplay features" and generic level design, I don't know what else to say about the game. It doesn't even feel like a Bond game, unlike its "predecessor", more like some stock, run-of-the-mill spy-themed FPS. Sure, it's still a decent game, but its out-of-place, random adventure game elements just make me angry, as well as EA's disregard for improving controls and other truly significant issues.

UPS
+ GoldenEye 007 revisited
+ Full voice track, and it's well performed... no reprisals at all, though

DOWNS
- Out-of-place elements which are supposed to create depth and an illusion of a first-person adventure; instead they're just boring, linear, failsafe sequences, which have to repeated on every single try and playthrough
- Not much improvements in areas which would've needed them - except for mission objectives showing up a bit more clearly
- Flat, uninspired level design, which pales in comparison to the predecessor's occasionally confusing, but well and ultimately logically built levels
- Crappy movie, and unfortunately, a lot more of it than necessary is recreated for the game

< 6.0 >

REVIEW - GoldenEye 007 | N64 | 1997

GENRE(S): FPS
RELEASED: August 23, 1997
AVAILABLE ON: N64
DEVELOPER(S): Rare
PUBLISHER(S): Nintendo

Rare was founded by Tim and Chris Stamper in 1985. They developed several successful games for the Nintendo Entertainment System, but also several licensed fiascos - which were published by LJN - some of the worst seen on the system. Having such disasters as Beetlejuice, A Nightmare on Elm Street and Who Framed Roger Rabbit under their belts, Rare saw their popularity soar in 1994 with the releases of their first major collaborations with Nintendo; Donkey Kong Country for the SNES and the arcade classic Killer Instinct. By the time the Nintendo 64 launched in 1996, Rare had become Nintendo's first choice for a second-party developer. In early 1997, Rare announced their first licensed game in six years, one based on a movie that had already been out for a couple of years. Although the last few years had been kind to Rare, there were some critics who still had doubts of their capability of breaking the stereotype of a movie-to-game adaptation, especially since they had been involved with a whole host of terrible and non-sensical 8-bit games based on the most unadaptable, aged movies. GoldenEye 007 turned out probably the most successful and well-received movie license in history, and the new - well, pretty much the first - standard for a great Bond game. Go figure. Anyway, we're in my world, and my resentment for the FPS genre is well known. So is my exceptionally rough prejudice towards licensed games. I have a feeling this is going to get very interesting.

Straight through the eye

MI6 assigns 007 to investigate and neutralize a crime syndicate attempting to get their hands on GoldenEye, an electromagnetic weapon designed by Soviet scientists during the Cold War. Making things even more difficult than they already are, is that it seems the leader of the syndicate is an old friend of 007's, with the exact same training and experience as him.

U mad, bro.

Though I'm definitely not a Pierce Brosnan fan, GoldenEye is a good and well balanced Bond movie. (I'd better get used to Brosnan, since a lot of the games from here on out use his likeness.) GoldenEye managed not to get too close to the old movies and their stale formula, but it wasn't nearly as dark and stylistically different as Timothy Dalton's outings, especially Licence to Kill, either - you could say it's the most balanced movie out of them all, and it had a good plot that served as great influence for Skyfall, with the main villain being a former 00-agent. Not to mention, he was played by Sean friggin' Bean. One does not simply fuck with Sean friggin' Bean! GoldenEye remains a memorable part of Bond history, but they don't really call it a classic. The game GoldenEye 007, on the other hand, is regarded one of the finest games of its generation. Even a couple of remakes later, critics still unanimously call this game the one and only GoldenEye, and the best Bond game there ever was. The only memory I have of the game is a multiplayer session from a few years back in which I got my ass kicked from here to Russia (with love). Now I'm out to find out what's so special about this game's single-player campaign. What makes GoldenEye 007 one of the most critically acclaimed first-person shooters there ever was? The fact that you're playing as James Bond - or more specifically his Walther PPK - in a half-decent game? Because it lacked true competition on consoles at the time? Or, was it a truly fun, innovative, great game that somehow managed to break through the limitations that plague the FPS genre even today?

One thing's for certain: there is a lot to like about GoldenEye 007. Even if you're not half of an FPS fanatic.

The graphics... well, one thing you'll be silently thanking right off the bat is that you'll only actually be seeing your character in cutscenes. The character modelling looks as horrid as you can expect from a relatively early Nintendo 64 game that went for realistic humanoid characters. The levels look quite good, actually. There's lots of detail and as long as there's no one there with you, the game looks even magnificent from time to time. The level design is pretty confusing, definitely not for those with bad navigational instincts, but that's literally more of a design thing. If you don't count grunts for voiceover work, there's none to be had here. Every bit of dialogue and mission briefing comes in text-only format. The music... the music deserves its own paragraph.

Maybe to capitalize on the clean, cold fact that the Bond theme hadn't been heard in many Bond games, GoldenEye 007 is full of it - dozens of the best remixes you've ever heard, in different styles of music, starting with a magnificent rock/metal version that kicks the game off with a blast that at the very least knocked me over on my chair. It sounds fucking awesome, and it's accompanied by a faithful recreation of the classic gun barrel intro first seen in the very first 007 movie, Dr. No; those in search of an authentic Bond game, they've got one.

Can't a man conduct his business in peace...?

The game stays with the movie's plot faithfully - sidesteps are taken only to add more depth to the movie-to-game transition. For example, while the movie has events from 1986 for a prologue while the rest of it takes place in 1995, the game has in-depth stuff from several points of time in the between. They're like deleted scenes for those really into the movie - it's cool! Also, the flashback(s) merely served as a pre-credits sequence for the movie, in the game you're going to be playing a relatively long while before finally catching up to the actual beginning of the story.

Although GoldenEye 007 is far from a perfect game, just the knowledge that eight of the nine people working in the game's core design team had never worked on a video game before makes it one amazing sight to behold, and an amazing game to play. It's an FPS, not a very challenging game to explain at first, but considering it was made in 1997, by a group of gaming virgins, calls for lots of praises for its slightest innovations.

First of all, you have gadgets from the Q branch at your disposal, including vintage stuff used in earlier movies, which you have to use to complete certain objectives. You have lots of weapons to collect and choose from, and if everything else fails, you can use rifle butts and martial arts in acts of desperation. Even the available weaponry features items from classic Bond flicks - Golden Gun's a pretty obvious one - and you can play as classic characters such as Oddjob in the multiplayer mode. This game was like a 007-loving gamer's dream come true back in the day. Stealth is a very important element of the game. Although the enemies' A.I. is not of the Metal Gear Solid variety, they are sensitive to suspicious sights and sounds, and there are a few ways to avoid attention, as well as physical confrontations altogether, and precision-target enemies from afar with the cost of not being able to move. You don't have as much health as it might seem, the enemies are not as crappy shots as they might seem, and there's nothing you can replenish your health with - except for the body armor, which doubles your health. If you fail, you're going to have to do the whole level again. ...Hopefully you're a little wiser. See? I said nothing about having no checkpoints. Why? 'Cause the game's fun, and the levels can be over quite quick if you know what you're doing, and do not just run around shooting everything to shit, with a faint hope of completing the level. Knowing what you're doing is sometimes a bit difficult.

Tea time? Uh-uh, I do believe it's ass-kicking time.

Mission objectives are hidden deep in the menu, and you're hardly given hints of how to complete them. I think it would've served the game well to make the objectives visible with the press of a single button - or at least add SOME type of a map, preferrably with blips. The levels are really maze-like and confusing, and navigating them might get real frustrating for people with lousy navigational skills. There are dozens of doors and pathways to lock you up into an endless circle. The controls really aren't that good; while I do appreciate the use of the trigger button Z as the fire button, the analog control is stiff and using the camera buttons to strafe and look around is just a damn pain, plain and simple. Despite all the acclaim it got and how good it turns out after some trouble with getting used to the dumb half of the scheme, I think this game is a fine example of why one does not simply make a fully functional FPS game if there's not a mouse or a second analog stick readily available.

Its control work-around and user interface might be dated, but GoldenEye 007 is certainly a good game with great atmosphere stemming from the music, and the developers' obvious passion for the franchise and all its history, not just the single movie it's faithfully and credibly based on. Being the first console-exclusive FPS to be taken seriously, GoldenEye 007 is a classic in its own genre. I'd need to be a genre fan to go further than that, and that I am not.

UPS
+ Great, albeit more than a little confusing level design
+ Ultra-faithful to the 007 franchise
+ Awesome music by some of Rare's finest (except for David Wise, who was doing Diddy Kong Racing at the time)
+ The game features some of the greatest stealth elements in a 3D game of the times before Metal Gear Solid
+ The environments look great...

DOWNS
- ...While the characters do not
- Movement's a bit stiff, and the camera buttons are simply painful to use
- No minimap, and the objectives are sometimes hard to figure out
- With its complete lack of health items and checkpoints, the game might turn out a little unforgiving to the casual player

< 8.2 >

REVIEW - Mortal Kombat 4 | N64 | 1998

GENRE(S): Fighting
RELEASED: October 1997 (Arcade)
AVAILABLE ON: ARC, N64, PC, PS1
DEVELOPER(S): Midway Games, Eurocom Developments
PUBLISHER(S): Midway Games

DESIGNER(S): Ed Boon & John Tobias

Midway totally screwed up with their first 3D fighting game War Gods, which was first released in 1996. They took on another installment in the Mortal Kombat franchise the very next year, and this wasn’t just any spin-off, but Mortal Kombat 4. Midway managed to fix their past mistakes and take heed of the risks associated with 3D at the time, as the arcade game was well-received by the public, and the game went on to be a successful home title as well. So, why has time forgotten Mortal Kombat 4? I don’t rightly know, ‘cause we’re dealing with a fairly good game. Even if it is reviewed on a platform it doesn’t belong on.

Get over ‘ere, you pile of blocks

Some familiar faces, some new ones, and a really
weird-looking reincarnation of Reptile.

Thousands of years before the first Mortal Kombat tournament, the elder god Shinnok turned against his brethren and tried to conquer the realms with a tyrannical vision. Lord Raiden fought and eventually beat him, and banished him to the Netherrealm. In present time, the sorcerer Quan Chi aids him in his escape from the Netherrealm, after which Shinnok starts planning a full-scale attack against the elder gods. Knowing that Shinnok has grown too powerful for him to face alone, Raiden seeks the help of his friends from the Earthrealm.

If you’ve read all of the Mortal Kombat-related stuff thus far, you might’ve picked up that I never even realized Mortal Kombat 4 was out. I thought the numerical titles stopped with Mortal Kombat 3, since the next game I saw played was Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance on the GameCube. I seriously had no idea there ever was a Mortal Kombat 4 until I first heard of the current-gen reboot of the game. I dug the game up for the Nintendo 64 and I was positively surprised by the game, it’s the Nintendo 64 itself which is the problem. I would love to try the game on the PlayStation. Without further due, let’s start with the graphics and character design.

That bitch just snapped my neck!

If you ever had a favourite character in Mortal Kombat, he or she’s probably here. It’s a collection of the best of the best, and kind of a return to the roots. The plot threads introduced in Mortal Kombat 3 are pretty much retconned, since Johnny Cage is here, although he was supposed to be killed some time before Mortal Kombat 3. Sub-Zero, Reptile, Scorpion, Sonya Blade, Liu Kang, even Goro himself – they’re all here. You don’t need to see more than the fighter select screen to know that this will be a full-fledged Mortal Kombat experience. And then the fear hits you – it’s the Nintendo 64. You haven’t tried Mortal Kombat Trilogy on the N64, so you don’t know what kind of ridiculous censorship you’re safe to expect from it. Well, I’m proud to say that Mortal Kombat 4 spares no ick; it’s probably the most violent game on the Nintendo 64. As to how it looks: well, I’ve seen how the game looks on the PlayStation, and to my disappointment, the PlayStation version does not look much better, but that doesn’t mean that Mortal Kombat 4 would be an ugly game. Sure, I don’t have much love for the franchise’s transition to (pseudo-)3D, or the blocky characters, especially when we’re talking about a game that lives on the idea of simulating realistic physical pain, but compared to many other Nintendo 64 games of the time, Mortal Kombat 4 looks good enough. And, there are no better blood effects in any game or on any console of that generation. Period. Boon and Tobias really invested in making this turn real ugly.

Things get quite ugly when it comes to the gameplay, as almost every special – but simple – attack by any character looks extremely painful. Babalities, Animalities, Brutalities and Friendships were taken out altogether for the sake of unadulterated, and perhaps a bit more serious streak of violence. You could say that in many ways, Mortal Kombat 4 was a fresh start. Censorship in video games had loosened up altogether, and I’ve got to admit that when I think about it, Mortal Kombat had gotten a little too twisted for its own good, kind of like a parody of its own self. Especially after the second movie came out. Perhaps the movie was the exact reason to why Mortal Kombat 4 never took off quite like its predecessors, they were both released around the same time. Enough speculating.

Here's for all those rocks to the face!

Even though the game’s in pseudo-3D – “pseudo” meaning that you can dodge to the background and not much more – Mortal Kombat 4 plays out the same as any other Mortal Kombat game. It has a couple of new features that will surely please those who were frustrated with the previous major installment. First up, a limit to the damage those damn combos can do. If you’re a hack with the combos yourself, you can remove the limit with a cheat code, but the default setting at least helps me in the simple task of enjoying the game. Also, what annoyed a lot of people with Mortal Kombat 3 in particular, was that many of the characters could easily use weapons, and/or projectile attacks to win the match. All characters couldn’t, and that is fixed here. Each character has a special weapon exclusive to them, unlocked by a button combo. In addition, many of the levels have debris you can use against your opponents. These are some very cool additions in my books, and they make the gameplay experience very comfortable. It’s a bit more forgiving game altogether, and the controls are very fluid… BUT.

FA-TA-LI-TY!

Here we get to why the Nintendo 64 version sucks. If you’ve read my previous Nintendo 64 reviews, you can pretty much guess what my problem is. It’s the controller. The N64 controller was never made for such intensive games as Mortal Kombat. First of all, I couldn’t imagine playing Mortal Kombat with an analog stick. Using the N64 digital pad is awkward, and uncomfortable. The analog stick is out of the question, not just because it doesn’t fit the current bill, but also because it’s so damn light-built I’m constantly afraid I’ll break it. Once you get over this issue, you have a lot more to worry about, like the mere arrangement of the controller, as well as the stupid-ass camera buttons, which are used as standard face buttons in the game. That’s not what the buttons were created for! …But also, you can’t make a good fighting game without at least four face buttons to use. It’s an endless cycle, but the bottom line is that the Nintendo 64 controller is not suitable for this kind of game.

Mortal Kombat 4 is not nearly as unforgiving as the previous titles, if you can cope with not showing off too much, and if you learn to use the weapons to your advantage rather quickly. Showing off is a bit hard, too, as special moves are difficult to execute – you can never decide whether to use the analog stick or the digital pad, as their effectiveness varies – and the Fatalities are more complex, and harder to perform than ever. The time window is a bit bigger, but in turn, the button sequences are way longer.

I enjoyed playing Mortal Kombat 4 for the very first time on Nintendo 64, very much… BUT, I would very much like to try another version of the game, preferably the PlayStation version, to get the truth out of it.

UPS
+ The best selection of playable characters in a standard Mortal Kombat game released up ‘til then
+ The N64 version is probably the most violent Nintendo game I’ve ever seen
+ The combo limit is king
+ The controls are surprisingly fluid…

DOWNS
- …But the N64 control scheme sucks balls
- The difficulty to nail Fatalities will drive you insane

< 7.9 >

REVIEW - Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker (2000)

GENRE(S): Action / Fighting
RELEASED: November 2000
AVAILABLE ON: GB, N64, PS1
DEVELOPER(S): Kemco
PUBLISHER(S): Ubisoft
PLAYERS: 1

A follow-up to Batman - The Animated Series called Batman Beyond premiered in early 1999. Instead of being yet another reboot of the Batman franchise, the show - mainly written by Batman stalwarts Paul Dini and Bruce Timm - featured a whole new Batman named Terry McGinnis, who, under the tutelage of an aging Bruce Wayne, protected a dystopian Gotham City in the year 2039. Initially, critics were very skeptic towards the show's concept, but the very dark Batman Beyond turned out to be a great critical success, as it was nominated for a total of four Emmy Awards, of which it won one in 2001. In December 2000, a full-length, direct-to-video animated film named Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker premiered. A game of the same name had already been released to extremely poor reception on the Game Boy Color and Sony PlayStation a month prior, while the Nintendo 64 version was released on the same day as the movie. The reception wasn't any better, but the sales apparently were, a little. The game is widely regarded as one of the worst Batman games ever made, and that isn't too far from the truth.

Return of the Joker III: The Curse Gets Worse

The Joker returns to Neo-Gotham 40 years after he mysteriously disappeared, and takes control of the Jokerz, the Neo-Gotham gang formed in his honour. Convinced that this Joker is an impostor, but still worried sick about his protegée's well-being, Bruce demands Terry to give up his Batsuit and the search for "Joker". After Joker makes an attempt on Bruce's life - knowing of Bruce's former secret identity - Terry dons the Batsuit again and vows to hunt down the clown prince of crime.

I'm somehow reminded of the Batman Forever
video game. And no, that is NOT a good thing.

While a lot of critics LOVED the show, I tried very hard to merely LIKE Batman Beyond, but it just didn't work. Batman Beyond was a very ironic show; I didn't like it 'cause I grew up with Bruce Wayne being the one and only Batman. Whatever he was made to look like in the Batsuit, whether he was portrayed by Adam West or Michael Keaton, there was always a common thread telling you "that's Batman, all right". Then they spawned this skinny teenager who didn't even have a cape, the logo was all fucked up and his character design was all-around ugly. The future schtick did not work. The show began with Bruce Wayne having a heart attack in the heat of battle, and what's worst, he resorted to a gun as a result. I know that Bruce breaking his lifelong vow and thus ending his career as Batman was written for dramatic effect, but it just didn't work for me. Nothing about the show did. As I was saying, the show was very ironic. People of my generation dissed it for totally renewing something that never needed to be totally renewed, perhaps just rebooted. In turn, the show was so dark - its only good quality on my account - that it wasn't suitable for a new generation of Batman fans to watch. Even after all the critical acclaim that the show got, not to mention the four Emmy nominations, I stand by these words. Joker calls Terry "Batfake" in the game, and that pretty much sums up what I think about Batman Beyond.

Even though I didn't like the show, I was very intrigued by the movie, just because it had Joker in it. Joker's my favourite comic book villain of all time, and just imagining a dark, animated movie that centers around Joker and the truth behind his disappearance decades ago - the highest mark of the Batman Beyond storyline - gives me the chills. Mark Hamill reprised his voiceover role as Joker from the original animated series, the movie was bound to be a winner - but it failed. Once again, critics were raving about it, how it was one of the best animated superhero features ever, yada-yada-yada. I just didn't get it, and the storyline's conclusion was a disappointment. In a nutshell, Batman Beyond never gave me anything. Not even a good game to rave about.

The graphics are from the cheapest end of the 64-bit era, the level design is dull, and even the cutscenes are totally devoid of any actual animation. The game follows the movie's plot quite faithfully, but very vaguely; the cutscenes are random clips from here and there, and they never really explain - in orderly fashion, at least - what's happening in the plot. Also, the dialogue progresses so fast that you can't keep up with it at all. The music is badly mixed, and there's not a half of a tune to get excited about, since the soundtrack fails to capture any Batman spirit, be it of the classic Batman spirit or the Batfake spirit of Batman Beyond.

Riddle me this: ...is Terry wearing a girdle?

The game is disguised as a fruitful experience in which you have access to gadgets and several different types of Batsuits, all of which have traits, such as good offensive or defensive qualities, or the advantage of stealth. In truth, though, Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker is a very simple side-scrolling beat 'em up game in which you can beat EVERY enemy, from a common thug to a robot to Joker himself by kicking their legs to shit or sticking to another strategy just as simple. Throw in a couple of really bad, unbelonging platforming sequences and utterly undemanding "fetchquests", and you've got this whole game - this whole game of FIVE levels, each of which takes five to ten minutes to complete. It's God damn easy to complete them, too. This game is easily beaten in under an hour, with a coffee cup in one hand and the controller in the other - you need that coffee to bear the bore.

It's like a pure promotional item for the movie, there's nothing that would make Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker half of a true game. Equipment change has close to no meaning at all, even though the game offers moderate, artificial variety in equipment, the controls aren't very good, and there's no challenge to the game at all. It's like running through a vague cut of the movie in a matter of minutes. The game lacks so much content it should've never been released as a full-priced retail, it should've come as a freebie on the DVD's side instead.

What can we learn of this game? Never trust a game that has "Return" or "Revenge" ...of the Joker for a subtitle. Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker is not a truly God-awful game to its very rotten core like Batman: Revenge of the Joker on the Sega Genesis, it's just an utterly useless game based on what I perceive as an utterly useless piece of the Batman timeline. Make no mistake, though: the game is not recommendable even for die-hard fans of Batman Beyond. 

GRAPHICS : 5.5
SOUND : 4.3
PLAYABILITY : 4.3
LIFESPAN : 2.0
CONCLUSION : 3.7

TRIVIA

a.k.a. Batman of the Future: Return of the Joker (EU / JAP)

GameRankings: 60.00% (GB), 30.50% (N64), 22.12% (PS1)

REVIEW - Castlevania: Legacy of Darkness (1999)

GENRE(S): Action / Adventure / Platform
RELEASED: November 1999
AVAILABLE ON: N64
DEVELOPER(S): Konami
PUBLISHER(S): Konami
PLAYERS: 1

Less than 11 months after the release of Castlevania on the Nintendo 64, another Castlevania game exclusive to the system came along, named Castlevania: Legacy of Darkness. It was revealed to be both a prequel and a remake of the previous game. What originally sounded like milking a dead cow to me is exactly that. But, it could've been better without a girly werewolf for a lead character.

The corny legacy of Cornell

STARRING
John Nuzzo : Cornell
Scott McCulloch : Narrator

The man-beast Cornell's village is burned down by cultists, who are preparing to sacrifice his sister Ada to resurrect Dracula. Using his wolf-like instincts, Cornell follows Ada's trail to Dracula's castle.

I have often called Castlevania: Legacy of Darkness one of the worst Castlevania games there is. The truth is that Legacy of Darkness is a decent game - but it is a poor Castlevania game, not only because of the gameplay that is still suffering from some serious problems, but because it never had a place in this fine series of games. Also, because it's basically the same game as the previous one, only played from the perspective of another character and driven by an even weaker plot, I perceive the game as nothing more than DLC, before DLC even existed. It's so God damn off in every way. According to some old interviews, Konami made this game to show what their true intentions with the previous game were. Maybe they should've just taken a few years off, seriously.

Now that IS cool.

The game has four playable characters. First up is Cornell - you have no say in it. During his quest, he meets a guy called Henry. After finishing the game as Cornell, you get to play as Henry. The level design's exactly the same, but his mission is to save some kidnapped children. After finishing both new games, you are "treated" with a no longer subtle remake of the previous game, as Reinhardt and Carrie are introduced as playable characters. Aside from a few changes made in accordance to the original script, the level design in Reinhardt and Carrie's game is exactly the same as in Cornell and Henry's. OK, having a more playable version of Castlevania on the Nintendo 64 is quite OK - but why in the hell must we bear Legacy of Darkness first? Moreover, why are we forced to bear the same game so many damn times, and first with some dude who does not belong in this franchise? Couldn't we just pick which game to play from the main menu like in any good "Director's Cut" game out there?

Did Konami really think consumers would be that interested in buying the same game to begin with, and having to clash through not one, but two crappy quests in those familiar settings in order to get their hands on a true updated version of the previous game? Besides, all of the content in this game borders on identical; you'll have lost all interest after, if not even before finishing Henry's game.

As for the graphics, they haven't REALLY upgraded all that much - the game just features flashy stuff the developers didn't dare to try before, even if it would've been perfectly possible, such as the impressive boss fight against the Hydra in the beginning of the game. The music... well. There are supposedly cool remixes of classic Castlevania tunes such as "Beginning", "Bloody Tears" (don't get too excited) and "Dwelling of Doom" to, I don't know, probably to remind people that this is still a Castlevania game with that man-beast roaming about. In my mind, these remixes fall into the same category as most of Michiru Yamane's later day compositions - too experimental and too "hip". The background music's still alright, most of the remixes play in cutscenes. There's even less voice acting this time around, in just a couple of scenes. Richter Belmont from Symphony of the Night, AND Chris Redfield from the original Resident Evil, a.k.a. Scott McCulloch, returns to ruin a perfectly decent piece of script once again, as the narrator. I'd recognize that voice anywhere.

Taste my man-beast... lightning... slash... or...
whatever...

The camera works better, the controls are better, the puzzles are better, the game is more balanced than the original... but so much of it is exactly the same as ever, and I would really like to play as some other character from the beginning. Reinhardt and Carrie aren't exactly my favourite characters in Castlevania history, but I'll take them over a faceless creature like Cornell any day. What does this guy or his kin have to do with anything that's ever happened in Castlevania? I guess he was supposed to be somewhat of a replacement for Alucard as the mandatory supernatural Castlevania protagonist, but they failed miserably. The first thing they could've done was give him a decent haircut.

To me, having four characters, with the exact same quests tweaked with some minor changes, is not a sign of lifespan - it's a sign of laziness. If they had been honest about this game and released it as the intended Castlevania - Special Edition instead of disguising it as a sequel, and made an updated version of the original game the main quest, and Cornell (and Henry)'s game the bonus quest, AND given us the freedom to choose which game to play, I think my take on the game would've been a little different. Not too much better, but better nevertheless. They ripped off certain elements of Resident Evil to a noticeable point already, it wouldn't have hurt to take notes of how well Resident Evil - Director's Cut worked for those who didn't own the original game. Castlevania: Legacy of Darkness is a good game to play, but storywise, it's mockery towards the franchise, and as a commercial product, it's a consumer's nightmare.

GRAPHICS : 8.0
SOUND : 7.0
PLAYABILITY : 7.0
LIFESPAN : 5.0
CONCLUSION : 6.5

TRIVIA

a.k.a. Akumajō Dracula Mokushiroku Gaiden: Legend of Cornell (JAP), Castlevania - Special Edition (working title)

GameRankings: 63.80%

Cornell, Lord of the Lycans, one of the main villains in Castlevania: Lords of Shadow, was named after the protagonist of the game.

Cornell was originally supposed to be the lead character in the previous version of the game, that is why he was made the protagonist in this one.

REVIEW - Castlevania (1999)

GENRE(S): Action / Adventure / Platform
RELEASED: January 1999
AVAILABLE ON: N64
DEVELOPER(S): Konami
PUBLISHER(S): Konami
PLAYERS: 1

Work on the 16th installment in the Castlevania series began in September 1997, six months after the release of the cult classic Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. The game, originally named Dracula 3D, was to be the first Castlevania game for the Nintendo 64, as well as the first 3D game in the series. The game was finally released in early 1999 under the simple moniker of Castlevania, and as expected, it divided opinions due to its radical departure from the earlier games. The game's events were cut from the series' official timeline a few years after its release, along with the events of several other less revered games in the franchise. I've said many ugly things about this game and its sequel in the past, but the truth is that neither one of them are quite as bad as I remembered them to be - far from being masterpieces, though. Let's start with the obscure little game fans of the series like to call Castlevania 64.

When a problem comes along, you must whip it - in 3D

STARRING
Andrew Hanikson : Reinhardt Schneider
Bianca Allen : Carrie Fernandez

The spirit of Count Dracula awakens in 1852, as the horrible result of mankind's corruption. Reinhardt Schneider, a descendant of the Belmont family of vampire hunters, and Carrie Fernandez, a young girl with mystical powers, set out on a journey to Dracula's castle in Wallachia to seek out the latest reincarnation of the evil one and vanquish him.

In the past couple of years, Castlevania has turned from a guilty, obscure pleasure of mine to one of my favourite video game franchises. There are only three Castlevania games I can profess true love for - those being the original NES game from 1986, Super Castlevania IV from 1991 and Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow from 2003 - but I still consider myself a fan of the whole series. Even though there have been several really bad games with Castlevania's fine name on them, trying out a new 'Vania game for the first time has been one of the greatest, most consistent thrills for me in the past year. The idea of giving the short-lived Nintendo 64 series of Castlevania games another chance came to me early this year, when I completed and reviewed Castlevania: Lords of Shadow. The much disputed reboot of the series was the first 3D Castlevania game in years, and even though the game was a huge disappointment in many ways, the basic gameplay worked - of course it did, it was ripped straight off the best in the genre. I started to reflect on what the first 3D Castlevania games were really like. Could it be I hated them for the wrong reasons? Could it be that they were quite good after all? There's only one way to find out.

Carrie may sound just as annoying as any other
child character in a video game, but any kid who
can pull of a decapitation like that is fine by me.

OK, so first of all, the plot is stupid. Castlevania never really shined in storytelling before Lords of Shadow, but the plot in this one is just about as full of dumb "bombshells" as it can get. The character and enemy design makes me want to go out and shoot someone; skeletons on motorcycles? I rest my case. The developers invested in free exploration in a full 3D world and a haunting atmosphere, probably due to the huge popularity of survival horror at the time. Actually the atmosphere of the great big outdoors somewhat reminds me of the first Silent Hill game that Konami unleashed less than a week after Castlevania. Coincidentally, the atmosphere of the indoor levels - including the catacombs - reminds me quite a bit of vintage Resident Evil. It's all fair compensation for the game being so off in its presentation.

The clumsy use of the camera is, surprise, surprise, one of the game's two greatest practical flaws. The camera pulls some crazy stunts on the player all by itself, like suddenly panning behind a wall during a boss fight, rendering the screen all black, and leaving you completely unaware of your character's position and situation - it won't move, no matter what you do. The only possible way to get back on track is to run around, hoping for the best, until the cameraman returns from his impromptu lunch break. The insane camera makes routing extremely difficult in itself, and making things even worse is the game's endless supply of enemies. Artificially, the game doesn't look that bad aside from the laughable close-ups of the characters; I guess I should give the boss fights, the outdoor proportions and the diversity in level design some due. Also, blood effects in a Nintendo 64 game always make my day.

Music's always been one of my favourite things to experience and review when it comes to Castlevania games. Since Castlevania isn't (or wasn't intended to be) a full-blown action platformer, but instead an atmospheric adventure game, the music is very ambient and minimalistic. It's good as what it is, not really up to the series' standards when it comes to pure quality, but good enough to make it clear that Michiru Yamane didn't work on this game. A very different remix of "Bloodlines" - a Castlevania classic originally heard in the Genesis game in 1994 - is thrown in as the title track of the game, but otherwise there are no classic tunes or any adaptations of them to be found here. For once, I understand why and I'm not too bothered by it. The game features very random instances of voice acting - if you are a fan of the "WHAT IS A MAN?!" meme from Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, I think you're going to "love" the voice acting in this game as well. It's downright abysmal. I have no idea why they even bothered to squeeze in the few scenes, they could've went with text only, like they do in most parts of the game.

I may not be a real Belmont, but I know how to
crack that whip!

Just like in Resident Evil, you get to choose between two playable characters: Reinhardt Schneider, who's supposed to be yet another distant descendant of the Belmont family, and Carrie Fernandez, a 12-year old girl with supernatural powers. Gameplay between the two characters doesn't differ by much; neither game's more challenging than the other. The games just offer different perspective, with some different bosses and scenes. Both characters have two different endings each, depending on how much time has passed according to the in-game clock. Castlevania utilizes a day/night cycle for the first time since Castlevania II: Simon's Quest. It's actually the same; more monsters appear at night, and maybe even stronger ones, I've not paid attention... as if there weren't enough at daytime. A recurring store run by a demonic salesman is introduced in the early goings of the game, and some of these stores are only open at day or night.

The variety of secondary weapons takes a turn back to its most vintage form, although their use is paid with red jewels instead of hearts. With the exception of the stopwatch, each classic weapon from the original article makes a return: the throwing knives, the axe, the holy cross, and the holy water. Sadly, none of them work on enemies as good as the basic weaponry at your characters' disposal. Reinhardt uses the Vampire Killer, and Carrie uses some bullet-like projectiles. Both characters have off-hand weapons as well - Reinhardt has a king-sized, but frankly useless dagger, and Carrie has a razor-sharp ring which, on the other hand, is perfect for melee situations.

Castlevania is supposed to be a balanced mix between an action-adventure and a 3D platformer. Well, if you ask me, the action bit gets pretty tiring after a while, since enemies in the game are endless - literally. You can explore quite a bit, but never in peace. Carefully scanning through each and every branch of a maze or a dungeon, which is usually fun, might kill you when poisonous enemies begin spamming you with their presence. It doesn't matter how many of them you kill, they just keep coming. Nine out of ten of their attacks result in a poisoning, and the game doesn't give a single fucking shit whether you're in the position to visit a store to buy medicine for the poisoning or not - you're not going to find it in the field. Good luck finding your way out or into a conveniently placed store (as rare as a conveniently placed checkpoint in the game) before the poison has its way with you. My other "favourites" include chainsaw murderers (again, the year's 1852... interesting technology) who are completely immortal but are able to kill you with two quick slashes from their beloved tool, and wolves with a bite that paralyzes you for a "brief" moment, which in actuality feels like forever. The Leatherface wannabe and the bad doggies first appear by each other's side, by the way. Not a very fun level. These bastards won't die, while there's just no end to those enemies that do. Crack that whip - it doesn't feel the same it did in 2D, the fun of it dies down after you've reduced the umpteenth wave of skeletons to a pile of bones and ash while simply searching for a narrow path you might've missed for the last hour, but it must be done if you wish to add this game's completion to the list of your life's achievements.

"...Wesker? ...Jill? ...What HAPPENED to JILL
and WESKER?!"

I think it would've helped the game if the developers had concentrated more on its qualities as an adventure game it was promised to be, rather than the endless button mashing parade it actually is behind its thin veil. The dialogue is putrid - again, I'm glad they didn't squeeze in more voice acting to top it all off, and I could've done well with none at all. The "puzzles" are extremely simple. Find a switch, flick it to open a gate. Open a lone coffin - just put a sign on it that says "HEY, OVER HERE!" - to find a pathway into a secret catacomb. Find a key, use it to find another key, and use that key to find yet another key, and hope that the cycle will end soon enough. The game works as an adventure game only up until a point. Even the thrill of exploration fades, first after you realize you've beaten the shit out of the exact same bunch of enemies for a million times already for the same damn rewards, then after you realize how much you are forced to backtrack, and how incredibly small the seemingly incredibly huge levels actually are. Think we're done here? Think again. We still have the platforming bits to unleash just as much hell on as they unleash on us players.

Failing one jump in this game equals death nearly every single time. You die when you fall from a certain height. Since giving Reinhardt or Carrie the ability to swim was too much for the programmers to handle, the storyboard designers decided to make all the water in the game poisoned. If you don't have a Memory Pak, not only are you unable to save the game, you are also prevented from having checkpoints at your disposal - you need to start the whole stage over every time you die. I'll wager that two of the most usual reasons to your sudden case of death are poisoning and failing a jump, especially if you're working your way up. Bumping your head on a higher platform does not send you crashing down, oh no - it sends you flying backwards at an incredible arc which makes sure you won't survive that incident. Your character occasionally (read: randomly) takes a few steps after landing on a platform, and those few steps may take him/her over the edge, straight into a pit or a pool of water. Finally, since this is a Castlevania game, there are flying bastards, classic ones - and also enemy projectiles that may hit you in mid-air and bring your death-defying leap to a screeching halt. As tradition goes, you're lucky if you can survive the Clock Tower... but in the good old games, the Clock Tower provided fun challenge. I don't find having to start the whole level over after just one seemingly minor stroke of bad luck - caused by icky control - to be a very fun challenge.

Thank you for using Satanic Tramlines. We hope
you'll hate your trip.

After getting most of my grudges towards the game out of the way, it's high time to go over a few things I like about it. It might seem like a small thing, especially to fans that blindly love Symphony of the Night to bits, but to me, the simple and easy-to-use item menu is way better and comfortable than the awkward mess in the game's otherwise stellar "predecessor" - of course, in this game, the item menu's not as much of an essential feature, but at least you don't have to equip a Healing Kit to simply use it! The bosses are quite cool, even if their buffs - such as those skeletons on motorcycles I mentioned - suck. Death is almost just as awesome to square off against he's always been. Due to the plot which just keeps getting more rotten as you go, you don't really face THE Dracula in the game at all, even if he's built up as the main villain from the beginning. Either way, the boss fights in general leave a good aftertaste, including the final battle. Lastly, the game has initially interesting and diverse level design; there's way more than just one castle for you to run around in.

Coming complete with two playable characters, secret bosses, unlockables, and four different endings, Castlevania is a challenging and replayable game, if you're enough of an open-minded, enthusiastic fan, who's willing and able to see past all of its worst qualities just because it's one more Castlevania game for you to see and conquer.

I repeat, Castlevania is not quite as bad as I remembered it to be - it's moderate weekend entertainment for anyone who was ever the least bit into the Castlevania franchise, and it retains many subtle elements that positively connect it to the rest of the series, but it's unbalanced and boring, and the problems with the camera and controls are much too severe to be dismissed as minor flaws.

GRAPHICS : 7.4
SOUND : 7.4
PLAYABILITY : 6.4
LIFESPAN : 7.5
CONCLUSION : 6.8

TRIVIA

a.k.a. Akumajō Dracula Mokushiroku (JAP), Castlevania 64, Dracula 3D (working title), Dracula 64 (working title)

GameRankings: 72.71%

To add to the confusion, the unrelated Castlevania: Circle of the Moon (Game Boy Advance, 2001) and Castlevania: Lament of Innocence (PlayStation 2, 2003) were both also released in Europe as Castlevania. Ironically, neither one of the games, or this one, are no longer parts of the official Castlevania timeline.

REVIEW - Donkey Kong 64 (1999)

GENRE(S): Platform
RELEASED: November 1999
AVAILABLE ON: N64
DEVELOPER(S): Rare
PUBLISHER(S): Nintendo
PLAYERS: 1-4

Donkey Kong, his family and friends had appeared in a number of 64-bit games by 1999, but up until the early goings of that year, a 64-bit sequel to the Donkey Kong Country franchise had been all but vaporware, a rumour spawned from the releases of even the most unlikely installments in a whole lot less prominent franchises. In the end of the year, Donkey Kong 64 finally became reality. The game was well received by critics, however it wasn't promoted too well, and its sales didn't match those of Donkey Kong Country in its time, so it is a game forgotten by many casual gamers. To me, the Donkey Kong Country series was food for the gods, so without any doubt or prejudice, I headed into Donkey Kong 64 with extremely high hopes for one of the best games I've ever played, like Super Mario 64 was before it. I came out extremely disappointed. Exactly what do critics see in this game?

A monkey for a cameraman

STARRING
Grant Kirkhope : Donkey Kong
Kevin Bayliss : Diddy Kong / Tiny Kong

King K. Rool has a new weapon named Blast-O-Matic, which he plans to use to blow DK Isles to smithereens. The weapon malfunctions and needs some time to be repaired. To keep Donkey Kong busy while his Kremlings are working repairs on the Blast-O-Matic, he kidnaps some of DK's friends and once again swipes his fabled banana hoard.

For quite some time, I wasn't even sure if this game was ever made. I remember hearing rumours of it, lots of them. By the time the game was released in Europe, I had lost all interest in the Nintendo scene - the game's one of the major titles of the era in which I missed most games released exclusively for Nintendo's systems. I, of all people, should've taken note of the game - Donkey Kong Country was still very certainly one of my favourite video games of all time, not to mention Diddy's Kong Quest. Well, I was bound to take it on sooner or later. Donkey Kong 64 is much closer to the stylistic patterns of Super Mario 64 and Spyro the Dragon than Donkey Kong Country, which isn't much of a surprise, but considering how great those games were, and how great the Country trilogy was in its own league, I expected a lot more out of it. It has some good ideas, some great ideas, but at times, even terrible execution.

The graphics are quite good - when Donkey Kong Country originally came out in 1994, describing the graphics as "quite good" would've sounded ridiculous. Rare pushed the envelope with all three games in the series, as well as Killer Instinct, earning the reputation of one of the most audiovisually capable developers in the world. Considering that, and the fact that Donkey Kong 64 came out in such a late phase of the N64's cycle, it does leave a little to be hoped for. Diddy Kong Racing came out earlier and it looked better; to give a point to Donkey Kong 64 in contrast to that statement, this game is in full 3D, and the environments are quite large. The camera is the worst problem in the whole game, period. The camera work is simply horrible - I've never had this much problems with the camera in any basically playable game, not to mention a game of this commercial caliber. It's impossible to learn to use it, you can only learn to live with it... and even that's hard.

Classic enemies do not make a classic game.

The game features quite a bit of voice acting, as well as several different voice samples, such as DK's retarded grunts voiced by composer Grant Kirkhope. The "acting" is just as impressive as it was in most N64 games that had any - not very, but there's a considerable amount of it, which is technically respectable. The occasionally crappy audio quality, though, calls for subtitles that are nowhere to be seen... except in the infamous intro of the game - the music video for "DK Rap" - quite likely the worst theme song of a video game, ever. The quality of the music in general is far from what we've grown accustomed to in games by Rare. Kirkhope composed all of it, ripping some bits off David Wise's old works to somewhat create a link between this game and the 16-bit franchise. If the gameplay was anywhere close to Donkey Kong Country at its best, maybe he would've succeeded.

Without further due, let's split and reassemble this son of a bitch. DK Isles is divided into seven areas: Jungle Japes, Angry Aztec, Frantic Factory, Gloomy Galleon, Fungi Forest, Crystal Caves and Creepy Castle. Finally, there's a "Lost World" of sorts. Everything you could expect out of a traditional platformer is there, and as all of you avid players of at least the first Donkey Kong Country game can imagine, many of these areas are influenced by earlier concepts. There are no stages in this game, these are all open areas in which you have many optional, as well as non-optional jobs to do, before you can move on to the next one.

You start out as DK, but as you will very soon discover, playing as him won't get you too far in this game. Actually, to complete each and every area in the game, you need the help of four friends: a trio of newcomers calling themselves Tiny, Lanky and Chunky, and of course, your old pal Diddy. Each character has his/her own set of special talents, his/her own musical instrument which is used for a special instrumental attack (I fucking hate this musical angle of the game all thanks to that God-awful rap), and finally, his/her choice of projectile weapon made by Funky, and used on enemies, as well as door panels. I like the idea of having this many playable characters and the large, open areas where every single one of them is needed, but the controls suck bad, and the camera sucks even worse. That "kind of" tones down the fun factor, as well as the fact that all of the characters have their own collectables - even the standard bananas come in four different varieties. Changing to another character basically means that you have to scout the overs and unders of the same large playfield over and over again using a different character to make sure you've cleaned it out. A total of four times. I'm pretty sure I've seen games that are more exciting.

It's not all that bad, though. If you're lucky, you'll grow used to the game's quirks rather quickly and it can turn out pretty addictive, just 'cause there's so much stuff to do and so much to collect, if you have any respect for the mere idea. Let's start with the new endeavors of the Kong family. Cranky's taken a turn to science and he can grace your characters with new abilities by testing his strange potions on them. As previously mentioned, Funky sells your characters projectile weapons - which are the worst part of the nightmare that is the game's control coupled with the issues with the camera. Snide the Weasel collects blueprints that are acquired by disposing of certain types of rare enemies, and which ultimately give you a better chance of surviving the "Lost World" of the game. Candy provides the Kongs with their damn instruments. The ghost of the late Wrinkly Kong gives you clues to the locations of the Golden Bananas stolen by the Kremlings.

Three animal buddies return. Rambi appears in Jungle Japes, Enguarde in Gloomy Galleon and Squawks is there... well, every step of the way, since he's been charged with tutorial duties. Also, he can carry Tiny in the vintage Country way, and he also might throw you a few freebies of the most prominent collectable items if you rub him the right way. Let's go into the collectables right now to wrap up the review some day.

Jungle disco.

Worst things first: Banana Fairies, led by the Banana Fairy Queen (...put a bullet in my brain...) are clearly a continuum to the damn birds in Donkey Kong Country 3. Collecting them unlocks all sorts of stuff excluded from the standard single-player adventure, which makes them count for jackshit on my watch. To go from one end to another, the hoard of Golden Bananas is, in every way, the most important collectable in the game, since collecting them directly affects your progress in the game - they're still hidden, though. You can't just run through the game like you could run through each game in the Country and Land franchises if you didn't feel up to attempting 100% completion. In each area, there's one for each character to collect and they're used as payment to continue to the next area. Regular bananas are also very important, since collecting 100 of them - surprise? - unlocks a boss fight. Beating a boss results in you getting one of the eight Boss Keys, which are used to free a turncoat Kremling from inprisonment and thus make your way towards the 100% mark. Coins that look like the regular banana tokens in Diddy's Kong Quest are used to buy new abilities, instruments and weapons, all of which you need to complete the game. You can try your luck in K. Rool's Battle Arenas, where you are pitted against a number of enemies. Finally, there are a couple of one-off minigames hidden within for you to capture the rarest of items.

Sure, Donkey Kong 64 packs a lot, and if it would be of the same all-around quality Super Mario 64 - a game released three years prior - always was, it would probably be everything that was expected out of it, and a lot more. Perhaps not any less than one of the best platformers in history, a game that you just cannot quit playing. Wait a minute... why am I reminded of each Donkey Kong Country game by what I just said? Donkey Kong 64 just doesn't feel the same. I really can't say what bothers me most about this game. It's fun for five minutes at a time, then it falls into some slump, then it's fun again, and then falls into another slump, every step of the way. Ultimately, I have no interest in going for any goals that are less than absolutely mandatory to reach the final credits.

It feels like it was made in 1996, and that it was just forgotten on the shelf. The camera is so unbelievably enfuriating, the controls, especially the weapon and underwater controls, are far from perfect, the music's lackluster, exploration is tedious, and finally, the game doesn't even look that special! ...Whew. After all this extremely harsh criticism, I admit I do acknowledge the better moments of Donkey Kong 64. It's just such a huge disappointment after such a grand run on the SNES and the obvious great expectations it brought upon the game. I've read the reviews, apparently most critics still love the game. I don't, but I don't really hate it either. That's honestly the best compliment I can give to the game. I grew up in the Country - this ain't it. 

GRAPHICS : 8.2
SOUND : 6.0
PLAYABILITY : 6.9
LIFESPAN : 7.0
CONCLUSION : 6.9

TRIVIA

GameRankings: 87.71%