AVAILABLE ON: MAC, PC
DEVELOPER(S): Interplay Productions, Presage Software Development Company (MAC)
PUBLISHER(S): Interplay Productions, MacPlay (MAC)
Once upon a time, this blog pretty much revolved around the most popular and distinguished video game character in history. Almost two years ago, I bid farewell to him, and now he's back, by the strength of a few curiosity items in his long, long resume, which spans a whopping total of 32 years. Although some of my most positive, heartfelt reviews to date have been inspired by Mario games, there's a certain selection of Mario games that has inspired me to write some of the most insulting, provocative prose richer with expletives than all of the other reviews combined. Since I'm all for self torture, I'm now going to bring Mario back into the fray with a pick from that particular selection of games - an educational Mario game. It's called Mario Teaches Typing, and to my understanding, it was Mario's first educational game, released some months before the first versions of Mario Is Missing! emerged. It was made by Interplay instead of The Software Toolworks, and it was exclusive to home computers, so two of my favourite things to bash about these games are eliminated before I've even started the game. This had better be bad.
At least Mario Teaches Typing is a very straightforward and honest "game" of its sort - down to its very title. You know exactly what to expect from it when you load it up. Or will you? No, you won't.
|Don't start that "Hello JUKKA!" crap with me. |
You're not the Mario I once knew.
|The first game, and let me tell you: it lasts |
|Would someone tell me by what degree of a |
flying fuck would this be educational?
Considering I leeched this off Abandonia, and since it was originally a home computer exclusive - for once an exclusive for the right platform for these kind of "games" back in the early 90's - I guess I could say Mario Teaches Typing is harmless, but as a Mario fan, I find myself having to regard it as a piece of trash, one more disgrace with Mario's fine name on it. Yet again, the most important thing is that it doesn't have the Nintendo Seal of Quality on it like a few other games do, and at least it's an honest product.
+ Interplay was honest and opted not to disguise it as a real game
- Outright horrible sound; now I'm really starting to avoid playing Super Mario World anytime soon
- Incompatibility with modern keyboards
- Immensely long and boring games with very strange ideas of challenge
- All of the games must be played through to unlock the more "challenging" (as in a bit more sensical) games
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