RELEASED: February 1991
AVAILABLE ON: NES
After their first 8-bit Godzilla game turned out a bomb, Toho started working on a game starring Rodan, one of their most popular daikaiju creations besides Godzilla. However, virtually nothing was known about this character outside Japan, so Toho ended up making another Godzilla game instead - one that's completely different from the Godzilla - Monster of Monsters! game, but still called Godzilla 2. Godzilla 2: War of the Monsters, to be exact. And it stinks. From end to end.
There goes Tokyo
Japan is under a large-scale attack by a group of monsters from outer space, spearheaded by the one known as Godzilla. The Self-Defense Forces are on the move against the alien menace.
"What is it, son?"
"I found this really cool-looking game! Buy it, pleaaaaaase?!"
"...Are you sure you want *this* game? Remember, you'll only get one game this whole year."
"Yeah, yeah, look! It's got Godzilla on the cover, and he's blowing shit up! It's gonna be an action game for the ages!"
"You're the best, dad!"
A couple of hours later:
"I fuckin' hate you, dad."
|First things first.|
The graphics are simply horrible across the board, and it doesn't come as a huge surprise or letdown, but the music is in a sphere of its own when it comes to purely sucking - it could at least suit the atmosphere! Luckily you can turn in-game music off, but that doesn't spare you from the theme song, which is just as badly sequenced as the previous game's basically catchy title tune, but a horrible song as well. It sounds like something from a licensed platformer - hard to imagine a devastating intergalactic war set to this cheery, generic melody.
|Gee, thanks Doc! Now tell me: where to get an |
A-BOMB? Where to get a trailer? How to "load"
the trailer? Doc? Doc?
You have basic military vehicles at your disposal, and many scenarios to choose from. The basic agenda's always the same, though: prevent a huge monster from blowing some waypoint to shit. You'd think I mean Godzilla, but he's just the name to get this shit to sell - he's actually just one of the seven aliens attacking Japan, none more common or strong than the rest of 'em. Everything you do seems a wasted opportunity, and all the scientists meant to help you with "tactical advice" speak common 8-bit gibberish, extremely vague hints, or come out with it honestly: "I can't help you." I like honest people.
I'm not wasting any more time with this fluff. You want to try it, go ahead and make your own judgement. To not beat around the bush any longer or question game developers' "vision", Godzilla 2: War of the Monsters is one of the most terrible wastes of 8-bit cartridge capacity I've ever seen.
+ The cover art...
- ...And how it betrays
- Looks and sounds exceptionally horrible
- Incomprehensible and tedious gameplay
- Every option besides a straight-on attack is useless - and even that doesn't seem to count for much
< 1.4 >
...Oh yes, and before I forget. Since I'm moving on and leaving the rest of the Godzilla reviews to a later date, perhaps the next episode of Monster Mash, here's something to end this part of the Godzilla-thon on a positive note. One of the greatest rock classics of all time, "Godzilla" by Blue Öyster Cult - enjoy.