VGTune of the Week : Balance Slays the Demon

This week's VGTune is less than a month old; it's no other than Old Gods of Asgard's rock-hard comeback single "Balance Slays the Demon" from Alan Wake's American Nightmare for the Xbox 360. While the members of Old Gods of Asgard are important supporting characters in the Alan Wake franchise and played by American actors, the band's music is performed by the popular Finnish rock band Poets of the Fall under a different name. Poets of the Fall are one of my favourite bands, and I honestly consider everything they've done under the Old Gods of Asgard moniker some of their best material - musically, I mean. The lyrics aren't much to celebrate about - but hey, this is classic metal. It's supposed to be a little dumb.

Unboxing N7

I got my copy of "nnnnseven" this morning, and thought it would be cool to make my own unboxing video, and post it as the last real entry you're going to see in a while. I'm kind of amazed that I have managed to not play the game for one second in the last few hours, but I thought I'd get all other errands (including EATING SOMETHING) out of the way before the risk of getting hooked for the rest of the day sets in.

REVIEW - Alan Wake's American Nightmare (2012)

GENRE(S): Action / Survival horror
RELEASED: February 2012
AVAILABLE ON: Xbox 360
DEVELOPER(S): Remedy Entertainment
PUBLISHER(S): Microsoft Studios
PLAYERS: 1

Remedy Entertainment never closed any doors on delivering a sequel to their 2010 psychological action thriller Alan Wake, and the ending certainly left many fans of the game hanging on the possibility of one, but when a sequel was accidentally revealed in the summer of 2011, and promised to be out in just a matter of months, people were kind of confused as the first game took seven years to make. Remedy went to great lengths to point out that the new Alan Wake game was not to be an Alan Wake 2 - it was not to be a true sequel to the game, but a stand-alone downloadable title, which would expand the Alan Wake universe, be more of an arcade-style action game than its predecessor, and be influenced by traditional cult horror rather than David Lynch and Stephen King's works. Those who loved Alan Wake for the tension of battle will certainly be putting their 1200 Microsoft Points to good use. Those who loved Alan Wake for its story, most of all its conclusion - parts of which were never explained in the DLC - might wake up from this nightmare feeling more than a little disappointed.

Drama holds no meaning... in Night Springs

STARRING
Matthew Porretta :: Alan Wake / Mr. Scratch
Brett Madden :: Alice Wake
Fred Berman :: Barry Wheeler
Lloyd Floyd :: Tor Anderson / Narrator
Cliff Carpenter :: Odin Anderson
Yadwa :: Dr. Rachel Meadows
Christina Evangelista :: Emma Sloan
Desi Sanchez :: Serena Valdivia
Larry Kenny :: Eddie Rodman
Nik Carter :: Shopping Channel Host

Alan Wake has somehow found a way out of the Dark Place. The homicidal lunatic Mr. Scratch has taken Alan's place in the real world, and being one of the Dark Place, he has power over the Taken. In a story and setting reflecting one Alan wrote years ago for Night Springs, Alan attempts to track down his evil doppelgänger and rewrite reality to utterly destroy the abomination posing as him.

It wasn't so long ago I returned to the world of Alan Wake, for the second and perhaps the last time. I like the game very much; hell, I even love parts of it, but it simply never was a very replayable game. It's so linear, complete with a lot of scripted stuff, extremely boring at times, and even its strongest quality - the story - has holes in it. Especially the end. Not even the DLC fixed that. I was always fascinated by Mr. Scratch. When this guy was introduced in the end of Alan Wake, I was totally pissing myself, in total awe of the homage they paid to the ending of Twin Peaks, in which, again, the evil spirit Bob took Dale Cooper's place in the real world, while Cooper himself was stuck in another dimension, the Black Lodge - which pretty much is a synonym for "the Dark Place". There's just one major difference between Twin Peaks and Alan Wake, that being a guaranteed follow-up to the latter. It's more than safe to assume we will never know of Dale Cooper's ultimate fate, but now we'll know Alan Wake's - up until Alan Wake 2 comes along, at least. The main focus - pretty much the only focus - as far as the storyline goes, is on perhaps the most interesting plot thread created in the end of Alan Wake. Do I like the resolution? Not much, I'm afraid - but Alan Wake's American Nightmare is a quite good action game considering that it's "only" a downloadable title.

Sometimes, running is better.

Remedy made the conscious choice of not really investing too much in a story here, and I think that's a pity. As good as the starting point for the story is, not to mention the potential that the story has to totally blow your mind, Remedy botched it with confusing plot twists that are very vaguely explained - more of that good ole' being weird for the sake of being weird - dull side characters (who needed them, anyway?!), and dull level design that is limited to three different settings, that are literally recycled throughout the game's three- to five-hour length. Even Mr. Scratch seems to literally scratch in place like a broken record. He usually shows up on TV's scattered around the field just like the TV's in the first game, making home movies of himself usually killing some slut that has fallen for his charms. At first, Scratch-TV is really cool and creepy, and Mr. Scratch hits you as one evil, malicious, murderous, not to mention batshit insane bastard as opposed to his mute, cryptic and much too happy presence in the end of Alan Wake. As Scratch's monologues go on, eventually you'll see he's quite damn one-dimensional. I lost interest in his little repetitive snuff clips altogether well before the final act. They just couldn't handle this guy right; I can't believe Remedy treated this guy as very little more than a mass murderer who obviously loves the sound of his own voice. He's more annoying than truly fearsome. You'll love to watch him go down.

The game doesn't look any better or much worse than Alan Wake, but considering that the whole game is smaller in size than many demos for the Xbox 360, it looks pretty darn good. The much utilized full-motion video clips look a lot better than they did in the last game - the lip sync is technically better, not any more believable than it was before, though. Maybe part of it's got something to do with the fact that I know Ilkka Villi and how his actual voice sounds like; it's pretty distracting to see him lip syncing to Matthew Porretta's lines. Even though using a real actor from time to time makes some scenes, especially the snuff clips, somewhat more comprehensible and perhaps even creepier than they already are, I don't know if it was such a great idea - at least they could've remodelled Alan and Scratch to actually look just a little more like their real-life model. Let's just face it: they look nothing like him. Even Villi's hair is totally different than before, while Alan's haircut stays the same.

Billy, I swear I didn't rape your prize goat.

The voiceover work (for the two main characters that is) is great, as always, but the game simply isn't as well written as Alan Wake. A bit rushed, maybe. A bit careless, too. Even though Remedy never intended to make American Nightmare a story-driven game, OR a real sequel to Alan Wake, it is still part of the franchise and a good story well told is what a lot of fans expect from it by its name only. Even though they merely scratched (no pun intended) the surface of Mr. Scratch's potential as a villain, I enjoy the contrast between Alan and his evil caricature; Porretta must've had a ball in the recording studio. Old friends mostly make their voices heard on the radio as fan service, and they sound great, while the new side characters sound just as wooden as their faces look. I have no complaints about the music, none at all - once again Petri Alanko nailed the moody soundtrack perfectly, and the couple of licensed songs included are just great.

...Aaaaand, what would a Remedy game be without Poets of the Fall? Oh, I'm sorry, what I meant to ask was: what would Alan Wake be without Old Gods of Asgard? Tor and Odin are making a comeback, and they treat us with a new single of theirs, called "Balance Slays the Demon". Needless to say, the song ROCKS; it's a little different from old school Old Gods, but great nonetheless; it solidifies Old Gods of Asgard's status as the best fictional band that ever was exclusive to a video game. Yes, even better than Love Fist. The Poets also contribute with a weird, generic track called "The Happy Song", which is somewhat of Mr. Scratch's theme song and frankly, unlistenable out of context. I was shocked to learn that this is actually a song from Poets of the Fall's upcoming album Temple of Thought, which can't turn out too good judging from all the material I've heard from it thus far. The talent of the Poets goes to much better use under the Old Gods moniker this time! The "music video" of "Balance Slays the Demon", stitched together from scenes in the game, is unlocked after the first playthrough of the game, so you are guaranteed to have a rock 'n' roll moment with the full-length song, if you happen to miss it during the game.

American Nightmare starts out much like Alan Wake. You - I mean you, as in the player - have no idea what's going on, where you are, there are wrinkled manuscript pages lying around, and you have only a vague clue as to what your actual goal is. The thing is that Alan knows exactly what to do. There's no mystery involved. The side characters are freaking out... or at least they claim to be freaking out, they sound awfully calm about it... but Alan just brushes everything off as another day at the races, and does weird things with a sense of purpose, never really explaining to the NPC's, or the player, what that purpose is. Instead, he just repeatedly tells NPC's to stay calm, in the light and away from the guy that looks like him, 'cause he's evil. Then he goes out to an oil field, turns on a few warning lights, slaps in a Kasabian CD, and tinkers with a valve to make a satellite in space come crashing down on an oil derrick and blow half of a ghost town in Arizona to shit, 'cause he just knows this series of antics will bring him one step closer to finding Mr. Scratch. It's a good thing he knows what the hell that's all about. They try explaining this to us, and it all kind of makes sense in a half-baked Alan Wake sort of way, but that's not a whole lot.

Someone's been eating their vitamins and
saying their prayers!

So Alan has, at least temporarily, become an action hero, and American Nightmare is an action game above all else. Although it retains some of the original game's spirit, it's not much of a psychological thriller. It's a game of "catch me if you can" in somewhat of a cult horror setting. It's a choice by Remedy, and it has consequences fans of Alan Wake will be disappointed with, but which action fans will surely approve of. First off, even though the primary engine is nearly identical to the original, the controls are more dynamic. Not perfect, though. Dodging works better; it requires even better timing than before, though, and the slow motion animations accompanying enemy attacks from behind or from the side make dodging them impossible. It turns out to be a true nuisance in the Arcade Mode, in which a successful dodge results in a better score multiplier. Reloading weapons is not nearly as clumsy and stiff it was before, and since you can't drive cars manually in the first place, the horrible vehicle controls are not there to drag the whole experience down.

The radio shows and Scratch's TV clips are there for your entertainment and that only - "Balance Slays the Demon"! - but the manuscript pages are for way more than just show. There are weapon chests scattered all around the three settings and nine acts of the game, which you can unlock by going on a thorough search for written word. The variety of weapons proves American Nightmare's true point; nailguns (ouch), Magnums, crossbows, submachine guns, assault rifles, and of course, the usual rifles, shotguns, and pistols. You can only carry two primary weapons at a time, plus the flare gun, flashbang grenades (which are not nearly as effective as before) and flares. Some of the weapons are just plain useless, I'm afraid; you'll have to test every piece out to judge them for yourself. The Takens get stronger, bigger and different in each act, and I tell you, if you enter the final string of events with a pairing of a nailgun and regular shotgun equipped, you can pretty much kiss your geeky writer ass goodbye. How does a Taken the size of a small cabin, equipped with a chainsaw sound to you? Or guys equipped with grenades? Or a flock of birds that can take the shape of an extremely fast, agile and sharp-clawed, rabid hobo? Or guys that multiply when you take a well-placed shot at them? Remedy might've ditched the drama, but they really invested in enemy design. Props be.

Pumping through the story mode of the game indeed takes you about four to five hours, depending on how much the manuscript pages (and the Achievement linked to them) mean to you. Getting bored after you learn that you're stuck zooming through the same levels over and over again is not an impossibility, but luckily you won't have to do the exact same "puzzles" (hah!) or endure the exact same boring conversations each time. They differ enough each time to uphold some level of interest, and well, at least it's only three times. It could be worse. After the kind of conflicted ending - I'm not sure what to think or make of it - there's Arcade Mode, which is probably going to BE the game for a lot of folk who invested their hard-earned points on this title.

Trollfaced punk.

In Arcade Mode, there are several different levels that are straight out of cult horror movies, and like in many cult horror movies, your goal is simply to survive 'til dawn. It doesn't matter whether you fight or run from the waves of Taken, although fighting is the healthier option and natural selection most of the time. About half of the game's Achievements are linked to the story, and the other half to accomplishments made in the Arcade Mode. The first few levels are kind of practice - yeah. - for the real thing, which is the Nightmare Arcade. This delightful series of levels will take your skills and your patience as an avid Alan Wake player to the limits. Although I wouldn't have minded if Remedy had paid more attention to the story, I must say they pulled a good one with the Arcade Mode. The suspense, thrill of success and addictive gameplay that is missing from the Story Mode are all found in the arcades. The Arcade Mode is pretty much what makes the game a mandatory purchase for an Alan Wake fan. The part the story plays in the deal is for each individual to decide; my final opinion on the story and its place in the franchise, after seeing the ending, was pretty much 50/50. The Arcade Mode is the schniz; it doesn't guarantee endless fun by any measure, but it makes the game's price feel just right.

I originally fell in love with Alan Wake because of how it began. The first chapter in that game promised so much - it was a masterpiece in itself. The game had potential to be an incredible psychological thriller, and it even ended up being quite good in that league. American Nightmare balances the scale by being more of an all-out action game, and when you think of it as such and stop thinking too much of its connection to Alan Wake, I think you're going to find decent boomstick entertainment for a reasonable price. It might be even some of the best arcade entertainment exclusively available for the 360.

UPS
+ Comes with a reasonable price tag
+ The Arcade Mode
+ Good enemy design
+ Better controls to support the tense action
+ Great music including new, fantastic material from the Old Gods
+ Mr. Scratch, during the first half of the game 

DOWNS
- Mr. Scratch, during the second half of the game
- The NPC's are nothing short of annoying leftovers
- Dull level design, as opposed to the good work on the enemies
- Despite a great initial position, the story is boring, needlessly confusing and obviously a lesser focus point than it should be, or could've been; its short length might even be a relief
- The remaining rough edges of the controls present themselves in Arcade Mode

< 8.0 >

REVIEW - Ninja Gaiden Sigma (2007)

GENRE(S): Action
RELEASED: June 2007
AVAILABLE ON: PS3
DEVELOPER(S): Team Ninja
PUBLISHER(S): Tecmo, Eidos Interactive
PLAYERS: 1

The first reworked version of Ninja Gaiden was released on the Xbox as Ninja Gaiden Black in 2005, about a year and a half after the original; although it was a different game in many ways, it was more of a re-release than a remake. In 2006, Ninja Gaiden Sigma (a.k.a. Ninja Gaiden Σ) was announced for the PlayStation 3, and promoted as more of a true enhanced remake of the classic Xbox game. The original game and Black's designer Tomonobu Itagaki immediately ducked from the project and cast judgement on it before it was even complete, and after the game's release, he expressed his disappointment in Team Ninja's efforts very vocally, although he acknowledged that the game did provide PlayStation owners with "a small taste" of true Ninja Gaiden. Itagaki's opinions on Ninja Gaiden Sigma seemed to affect many fans of the franchise, as well, as Ninja Gaiden Sigma is seen by many as the most inferior iteration of the game. I'm not jumping on any bandwagons, I'm unbiased, and I could care less about some embittered former designer's comments on an outsourced remaster of his game... especially when it's better and more comfortable to play than the original. It could use more work in terms of being a next-generation remake, though.

D.D.E. 2007

Is it just me or is that blade shaped like a Batman
logo?

How to describe Ninja Gaiden Sigma? Let me try. It's like a director's cut of the original game - except that the director had nothing to do with it. Quite the contrary, in fact. So, let's say that it's a cut by some fan that was pissed off by the original game's worst elements, and attempted to create the perfect Ninja Gaiden experience for casual players. He failed when it comes to the "perfect" part, but still managed to make the game better without killing the tension or the atmosphere of Ninja Gaiden, or any of the elements which made the game stick in the first place, despite its shortcomings. Ninja Gaiden Sigma is still an extremely difficult game, there's no doubt about that. What Yosuke Hayashi figured out that Tomonobu Itagaki didn't, was that a minimal amount of save points do not make up for a difficult game - they make up for a deeply frustrating one. So, he added a few - and just a few more save points make this game a more tolerable experience than the previous versions.

Frankly, I don't understand what is so concretely different about Ninja Gaiden Sigma that originally made Itagaki so furious. If you'd ask me off the record, I'd say he was pissed off due solely to the game being exclusive to the PlayStation 3 instead of his beloved Xbox 360. Even I don't play favourites that much. Ninja Gaiden Sigma offers players new and alternative content, including Rachel as a playable character for a spell, an improved Mission Mode, more combos, and a mere extra chance to be able to just beat the freakin' thing in form of a few more power-ups, combos, weapons and the mentioned save points. I understand the ire of experienced players, who went to incredible lengths to beat the original in its time - I understand that they might perceive Ninja Gaiden Sigma as "too easy". But, I think players who never owned an Xbox, or never managed to beat Ninja Gaiden, or got tired with the game due to its lack of fair play, will get a lot out of Ninja Gaiden Sigma, a lot more than they originally could've guessed.

The graphics have been enhanced, to the point of background textures and character design having a total HD makeover, but the FMV cutscenes have only been remastered instead of completely redone, and a lot of graphical quirks remain, such as doors just magically opening and closing without your character so much as touching them - the HD makeover is very little more than artificial. Graphically, the game is a disappointment - they could've done so much more besides adding some falling leaves to forested areas. This is the PlayStation 3 we're talking about. Also, there's some new music added to menus, but all of the original audio remains intact, including the somewhat lame voiceover work.

Murai might be easier to humble than before,
but he can still make you cry.

When it comes to gameplay, Ninja Gaiden Sigma has several moments in which it hits you as an actual remake. There are several scenes added for both dramatic effect and freshness in gameplay, just one example being that you can actually (try to) fight Doku in the second chapter, and of course, Rachel's eventual playability. To not make this falsely sound like I'm reviewing a perfect game, Rachel's chapters are not that good - extra sequences played through as former NPC's rarely are - and, Ninpo spells in Ninja Gaiden Sigma are another example of Sony desperately trying to find SOME use for the Sixaxis controller. By shaking the controller violently when Ryu's powering up a spell, you can somewhat increase the spell's power. Another Sixaxis-related distraction, right there.

Generally, the controls are better, and more responsive - although Ryu still has problems to respond to direct, simple commands such as "jump" right after a combo - and I love that you don't have to distract yourself by going to the menu each time you need to use a health item or a Devil Elixir. I've lost count how many times I've fucked up a duel (or an all-out assrape) in the original Ninja Gaiden due to being forced to visit the menu in the midst of the worst possible heat. In this version, consumable items can be assigned to the digital pad, which makes combat in general a tad more comfy and easier to focus on. You can even rub your nose this time, if you're quick about it...

...But, Ninja Gaiden Sigma is not an easy game. On the contrary. It gives you more resources than the previous versions, but it requires you to use as much of those resources you can, all the same. Again, having more save points does not make the game any easier, just more tolerable, and even while those extra save points exist, the game still does suffer from having zero checkpoints. The mere idea of having to endure the same big fights over and over and over again, navigating your way through a complex level over and over and over again, "solving its puzzles" and fetching all those key items over and over and over again sounds simply frustrating rather than difficult. I'm also quite serious when I say a fully functional 3D camera does not make the game any easier - it's simply something that should've been part of the game since day one. If you get a hard-on from a camera that simply doesn't work and consider it an element of challenge, you've gotta be somewhat sick. Ninja Gaiden Sigma is more pleasant to play than the original Ninja Gaiden - period.

I think the Sixaxis would've made more difference
if we could've used it on THOSE. You know what
I mean.

Notably better audiovisuals would help Ninja Gaiden Sigma to stand out on the PlayStation 3, though - and, very few PlayStation 3 games that came out this early have Trophy support. Any PlayStation 3 or Xbox 360 game has got to have a tracking system to survive in the mainstream. Trophies would've especially helped Ninja Gaiden Sigma to better scores and better response from actual players rather than critics, 'cause it's such a difficult game - not only would've Trophies forced players to keep pushing forward, they would've also made the game last longer in use, obviously so, since that's what Trophies and Achievements do, as long as they're well designed. A PlayStation 3 game without Trophies as leverage is as good as dead and buried in 2012; sadly, that's just how it is. Also, Ninja Gaiden Sigma does not feature any unlockable full-length games; Ninja Gaiden had the original trilogy in its 16-bit form, and Ninja Gaiden Black had a version of the arcade game. Ninja Gaiden Sigma features more exclusive combos to unlock for the same amount of Golden Scarabs; I think squeezing in the Sega games would've continued the tradition and closed the circle quite nicely. Fuck new combos, we want old games!

Ninja Gaiden Sigma has many flaws, and it does feel like another needless re-release of Ninja Gaiden in many ways, but it is the best version of the game available, as well as the only version of the Xbox classic(k) available on Sony's backlog. Again, the lack of Trophies makes it somewhat of a collector's novelty nowadays, but if you're in the mood to push your own and the PS3 controller's endurance to the very limits, it's not a bad idea to brush the dust off Sigma.

UPS
+ Better general controls
+ More killer combos and equipment, available earlier and at tolerable prices
+ More save points - they do not make the game easier to play, they just make it easier for you to breathe
+ The most important improvement of 'em all: the full-3D camera 

DOWNS
- I compared the original game, inevitably, to Devil May Cry; Ninja Gaiden Sigma is just as inevitably compared to the incredible God of War, and it totally loses the race by being such a basically dated game
- The audiovisual overhaul is extremely artificial; the game looks and sounds nowhere near a standard PS3 title
- The unlockables are lame
- No Trophies to keep you going
- I nearly broke a knuckle while shaking the controller - Sixaxis should be renamed Sucksasses

< 8.6 >

REVIEW - Ninja Gaiden (2004)

GENRE(S): Action
RELEASED: March 2004
AVAILABLE ON: Xbox
DEVELOPER(S): Team Ninja
PUBLISHER(S): Tecmo
PLAYERS: 1

Tecmo originally planned to resurrect the Ninja Gaiden franchise as a 1999 arcade game for Sega. Plans for returning to the arcades were scrapped in a very early stage of development and work began on a Dreamcast game. When Sega announced the discontinuation of the Dreamcast, Tecmo announced that Ninja Gaiden would be a U.S. launch title for the Sony PlayStation 2. In yet another twist of events, the game was declared an Xbox exclusive at E3 2002, according to the will of the new head of the Ninja Gaiden franchise's development, Dead or Alive creator Tomonobu Itagaki. The game was originally scheduled for release in early 2003, but ended up being delayed by a whole year. After a rare five years in development, Ninja Gaiden finally hit the shelves in March 2004, and became one of the decade's most critically acclaimed games, not to mention one of the Xbox's most highly esteemed exclusives, and it has also been named the most difficult video game of the sixth generation of consoles. With two different remakes and two sequels of the game for both the Xbox 360 and the PlayStation 3 under Team Ninja's belt, how does the original article hold up?

D.D.E. 2004

He has a blue flame where his face should be.
Just so you know he's evil.

Young Ryu Hayabusa is out to destroy the Vigoor Empire for the utter slaughter of his clan, including that of his childhood friend, and the theft of their sacred Dark Dragon Blade. Even getting fatally wounded in the hands of an Imperial soldier only makes Ryu stronger and more determined to get his revenge.

All I've been hearing this past decade is how difficult Ninja Gaiden is. I wasn't much of a scene scout back when Ninja Gaiden came out on the Xbox; I knew much less of big releases on the Xbox and the GameCube 'cause I was a Sony flag waver to the core. I wasn't sure if Ninja Gaiden was a remake or a reboot - as it seems, even the developers were not sure what to call it! Anyway, the Ninja Gaiden franchise got a huge boost from the release of this game - but, I have friends who didn't realize at some time that the game is actually of the same series as a game called Shadow Warriors, a game they loved back when they were kids. They embraced Ninja Gaiden as a whole new, exciting franchise. Even when they found out of the connection, they just couldn't make it themselves. It's a whole different game. The most important common factor between the original Ninja Gaiden series and "Ninja Gaiden 2004" is that the original three games were regarded as some of the most difficult games ever released during the 8-bit generation, and Ninja Gaiden is regarded as the most difficult game of this generation. I found it very hard to believe that this game would be anywhere near as difficult as the 8-bit games. These days we have checkpoints, elaborate general strategies that are guaranteed to work, and all kinds of other ways to bend the difficulty level of the game to our will. It just so happens that Ninja Gaiden is a game that doesn't have any of these features and properties. It IS a very difficult game... believe me when I say that you will die dead enough! Even after all the blood, sweat and tears, I think it's appropriate to welcome Ninja Gaiden back.

This guy might seem a little frail, being nothing
but bones and all... but actually he's one of the
most evil bosses there ever was.

To me, it's criticism, but to a lot of folks, it's a sales point: being an Xbox exclusive, Ninja Gaiden is pretty much Microsoft's answer to Sony's Devil May Cry. The similarities are uncanny, all the way from the core gameplay to cinematic methods, general visuals including the layout of the main menu, chapter-to-chapter progression, a lead character with a whole variety of the most kick-ass moves ever seen, and of course, the high difficulty. It's criticism 'cause I loved Devil May Cry when I first bought it, but the further I played it, the more I grew to somewhat hate it. After finally finishing the game (with a sore throat from cursing life itself so much), I somewhat made a vow never to attempt it again, and eventually sold the game with not much parting tears involved. In time, I've grown to appreciate it more, and would like to have the game back in my shelf, if that's of any condolence to Dante fans.

When I first started Ninja Gaiden and saw most of the similarities between it and Devil May Cry unfold in under 20 minutes, I was sure I would at least end up being disappointed by it. Hours passed, I died dead enough a lot, the camera drove me to the brink of insanity five times in an equal amount of minutes, and making a long-ass trip from a save point to a boss only to get my ass kicked in two seconds and thrown back to the save point didn't really work wonders in calming my nerves. Still, I would call Ninja Gaiden a fun game. You know why? Because it's exactly what you would dream a descendant of the original 8-bit Ninja Gaiden to be. The first game gave you unlimited chances to learn from your mistakes and keep fighting like a man until you got to the end. This game is basically the same - only there's no trial and error involved, it's not a platformer. This game is the ultimate test of your skill and reflexes as a gamer. The better you get in utilizing all of Ryu's more or less essential abilities, the better shape you will leave conflicts in. Like I said and meant as somewhat of a pun, the original game trained you to be a ninja. I'm very serious this time around: this game DOES train you to be a ninja. It requires you to think and act like one. If you can't grasp the ways, you will never beat this game. Seriously. If you're the kind of player who likes to adopt one single strategy and rely on it throughout a full-length action game, you're playing the wrong game. In Ninja Gaiden, you must use all of your resources to your advantage if you wish to make it through one fourth of this game. Hell, you'd deserve a pat on the back if you made it through the very first chapter... out of 16.

When all else fails, try fire.

As opposed to the trend of making worlds look big and detailed, Ninja Gaiden's general look is relatively reduced. Instead of making it look all-around fancy, Team Ninja opted to make Ryu's smooth movement and kick-ass combat arsenal count. I can definitely cope and live with that. The thing I don't get is why the cutscenes weren't made to stand out like they did in the original 8-bit series. The game is one of the most cinematically generic action titles of the 21st century - which makes it kinda stand out, yes, but not in the most graceful way when it comes to visuals and an authentic Ninja Gaiden atmosphere. Killer cutscenes were what I most expected out of this game as far as the audiovisuals are concerned - there are none to be had.

The soundtrack is a quite consistent mixture of electronica, techno and some simple guitar riffs that the Japanese are fond of. The music is at least on par the whole time, it's not nearly as annoying as Devil May Cry's similar soundtrack was at its worst. And, I think having techno for battle music is a little more tolerable in a game that stars a modern day ninja hacking through an Imperial city's defenses - instead of the spawn of an ancient demon exploring a medieval castle. The voice acting isn't the most high-spirited work around, but at least no one's overdoing their part like the guys and gals in Devil May Cry. I just love comparing these two games, if you still can't tell.

In Ninja Gaiden, your primary goal is vengeance. Now while the game might not be the most dramatic show of emotions there is, Ryu's personality as a combatant makes his thirst for revenge that much more plausible. In addition to being capable of carrying a whole variety of different ninja weapons - swords, shurikens, bows, staves and whatnot - and kicking a whole variety of ass with 'em, Ryu can do somersaults off walls, run along them, and with a little bit of practice, you can use these abilities to your advantage in combat as well. Nothing is more rewarding than bouncing off an enemy's shoulders, leaving him disoriented and running your Dragon Blade up his anus. Before long, this delightful combo becomes extremely hard to perform. Actually, there's less than a minimal amount of enemies for you to practice with. Ninja Gaiden turns extremely hard extremely quick. I've heard of people that have given up after being assraped by the very first boss.

Demons. Again.

The decision to give up easily is not a hard one to make at all. Ninja Gaiden has lengthy levels, yet no checkpoints. It's merciless; you're lucky to have two save points per level. Just one tiny mistake can cost you the game. Making a 45-minute trip just to get your brains mauled by one single enemy who you were not prepared for, and getting your ass thrown back to the save point in the beginning of the level is standard for this game. There's always that small glimmer of hope of you being able to hone your reflexes - something that keeps telling you that you'll be able to beat this game if you try hard enough. It's not a total crock of shit, but at least one checkpoint or well placed essence of health every once in a while would make the attempt feel a little less feeble.

Like most games, Ninja Gaiden has a shop for upgrades and items, which accepts yellow essence - gained from breaking background items and killing enemies - as currency. Everything you actually need costs a fortune, and you'd have to be one damn ace in this game to not need to spend a lot of essence on health items instead of new upgrades, techniques and combos, weapons or Ki spells. The spirit that runs the store also collects Golden Scarabs; by offering him these prominent collectables, you gain access to a whole lot of exclusive stuff from "under the desk", including access to the 16-bit version of the original Ninja Gaiden series, all three games, one at a time. Now that's cool - but it will take a lot of work no casual player fearing this game's unparalleled difficulty level would be willing to do.

Ryu sees the advantages in weird architecture.

The game is packed to the brim with action, it has good controls and a cool story - which is just not presented that well - but there are two major things wrong with it. First off, the camera is very clumsy and awkward. It doesn't matter if you're in or out of battle, the constantly shifting and warping camera will drive you crazy. The game has some of the worst camera-related problems I've ever seen. Secondly, the game is just too "difficult" for its own good. Once again, I'd like to remind each player, as well as each game developer out there, that "challenge" in this century does not stand for having the player bust his balls over and over again through an hour-long series of solving puzzles, overtly difficult combat sequences, maybe a few bosses, just to get his ass handed to him/her in just one random, totally unexpected situation, and being forced to start over from the save point which seriously can be an hour and piles of frustration away. Just rubbing your nose or wiping that sweat off your brow in the middle of a seemingly ordinary duel can fuck your game up, regardless of when you last saved. Games are supposed to be difficult, but not such a waste of precious time. Ninja Gaiden is a very difficult game for a lot of right reasons, but also a hefty amount of wrong ones. When was the last time I saw a basically good game I just simply couldn't play when there was someone else present? I guess there's never been one before Ninja Gaiden.

Despite a lot of nice efforts to drive the player batshit insane, Ninja Gaiden is an addictive game in its very own, unique, perhaps a little sick, way. It makes you sweat like an old school game; it's just too bad that most of that sweat comes from the constant fear of everything you've done in the last hour being all for nothing.

UPS
+ Ryu's moves
+ A cool variety of weapons, skills and spells
+ Unlike most action games released during the decade, Ninja Gaiden is downright impossible to beat in one weekend
+ It's not only challenging, it's also relatively lengthy
+ Cool unlockables, including the 16-bit Ninja Gaiden Trilogy 

DOWNS
- It's a little too much like Devil May Cry; to some, this is a big plus, and I don't blame 'em
- The story's good enough, but the game is not a cinematic breakthrough like the old school games were at their time
- The game is in desperate need of checkpoints
- The camera is horrible, and the sometimes necessary first-person view is just as clumsy
- The puzzles would've needed some more work; most of them are simple fetchquests
- Loading times shift between long and eternal

< 8.5 >

VGTune of the Week : Ryu's Theme

20 years ago. That's all I have to say this time around. :)

Less than a week to go!

In five days, this blog will fall completely silent. Of course, VGTune of the Week will show up on the next Sunday as always, but I have nothing to give to people expecting just a few reviews or perhaps just a few random rants in the coming weeks. As Mass Effect 3 hits the shelves, it's safe to predict at least two weeks of downtime as I'm getting ready to begin work on my biggest and most hyped review yet. This much you already knew. The question remains, what's been cookin', and what's to expect after Mass Effect 3? Usually, I would have no answer. Now I do.

What's been cookin' is a lot of work. I've been really disappointed with my pace lately, but that's totally expected with all the work I've been burdened with. I've made a whole list of games I'm going to buy soon, 'cause my wages this and next month are going to be relatively astronomical - at least they'd better be. Yeah, Skyrim is still on top of that list, and there's another recent game that has seriously caught my attention - Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning. I'm usually very hard to please when it comes to whole new franchises, and I usually lie in wait for a sequel before jumping on the bandwagon, but the playable demo on Xbox LIVE, which I downloaded 'cause my friend wanted to see it, proved that this game's the real deal.

Ryu's leaving us for the time being.

The Ninja Gaiden marathon will end with Ninja Gaiden for the Xbox and the remake Ninja Gaiden Sigma for the PlayStation 3. Besides that, I'm done dying dead enough :) I know that "slogan" is somewhat of an enigma; back when I first heard Megadeth's 2004 single "Die Dead Enough" and tried to determine whether it was good or not, I imagined the song playing over a Ninja Gaiden montage, because "dying dead enough" always reminded me of that franchise. That's where it comes from. Anyway, there was really no deep meaning to the Ninja Gaiden marathon - of course the third game in the new series is coming up, but this marathon had nothing to do with the hype surrounding it, it was just coincidence. So no, there will be no reviews of Ninja Gaiden II and Ninja Gaiden III at this time. The reviews of Ninja Gaiden and Sigma will turn up in a couple of days, and they will be followed by a totally unrelated stand-alone review of a whole other game before Friday.

After Mass Effect 3, it is finally time for me to live up to the promise I made in the end of the year and start hacking through my collection. My collection has grown by quite a bit during the last couple of months - by approximately 30 (!) games, to be exact - but my primary concerns lie in the games that were part of last year's collection. The ones that got there first are first in line, so to say. I'm totally stoked about this "marathon", but I'm trying to contain myself as I have a galaxy to save and an Earth to take back. As we're slowly heading for the summer, it's safe to assume that I'm perfectly capable of picking up the pace and delivering a lot of interesting reviews to make up for a good Year 2 summary, which will be published some time in August.

See you in a couple of days, the blackout isn't 'til Friday.