Farewell to Mario

It seems I'm down to my final four games directly related to Mario. There's been a lengthy break because of the nature of the current game on my plate, but I'm sure a review of it will be done in just a couple of days. It's been a fun ride with Nintendo's one true classic. As I said before, though, this will probably not be the ultimate end. There are still a few Mario games I'll probably be ready to review at some point, but no major ones. All games that I've had the will to deal with, have all been dealt with. Kind of sad, really. However, Mario's spirit lives on for another little while as I take the logical step back to the Donkey Kong franchise next. I'm expecting a ball. As usual with marathons, I will give you another rundown of the whole Mario franchise once I'm done with the four games.

What else... this is my first day at my new workplace. I'm very excited, and downright terrified. I'm lucky to have a wonderful human being telling me everything will be all right and totally counting on my great success. I guess I have to take her words, who knows what she'll do to me. Anyway, there's a YouTube link below that I have looped for two days straight to prep myself - "Stand Up and Fight" by Turisas, one of my favourite bands at the moment. If they're coming to a venue near you, do yourself a favour and go see them, regardless of your musical taste - you will not regret it.

One last thing - I have to return the Xbox pretty soon, so for now there will probably be no more Xbox reviews. However, I must say that I will miss the damn thing. I've grown attached to the controller which I once hated, and there are a few games lying on that shelf I regret not reviewing. I'm pretty sure Microbuck$' favourite child will make its return some time in the future, but probably not any time soon.

I'm off to the laundry house, and come this afternoon, I can be found walking around in central Turku with shaky feet and soiled pants. More Turisas to calm my nerves...

VGMania: Year One

The first year's a-wrap! Let's try to double these numbers by next year :)

I have reviewed a total of 300 games:
14 for the Game Boy / Game Boy Color
37 for the Game Boy Advance
65 for the Nintendo Entertainment System
14 for the Nintendo 64
13 for the PC
9 for the Sony PlayStation
19 for the PlayStation 2
28 for the PlayStation 3
1 for the PlayStation Portable
10 for the Sega Genesis
84 for the Super Nintendo Entertainment System
6 for the Xbox 360

Highest-rated GB / GBC title: Wario Land - Super Mario Land 3 (8.7)
Lowest-rated GB / GBC title: Star Wars: Yoda Stories (3.3)
Total GB / GBC average: 6.5

Highest-rated GBA title: Final Fantasy VI Advance (9.4)
Lowest-rated GBA title: Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (3.0)
Total GBA average: 6.8 

Highest-rated NES title: Super Mario Bros. 3 (9.2)
Lowest-rated NES title: Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (1.1)
Total NES average: 6.5 

Highest-rated N64 title: Super Mario 64 (9.6)
Lowest-rated N64 title: Yoshi's Story (6.0)
Total N64 average: 8.0 

Highest-rated PC title: Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge (9.6)
Lowest-rated PC title: Terminator 2: Judgment Day (2.5)
Total PC average: 7.1 

Highest-rated PS1 title: Final Fantasy VII (9.8)
Lowest-rated PS1 title: Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (8.5)
Total PS1 average: 9.1 

Highest-rated PS2 title: Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater (9.7)
Lowest-rated PS2 title: WWE SmackDown vs. Raw 2008 (6.8)
Total PS2 average: 8.6 

Highest-rated PS3 title: Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots (9.6)
Lowest-rated PS3 title: Final Fantasy XIII (6.6)
Total PS3 average: 7.9 

Highest-rated GEN title: Earthworm Jim 2 (8.8)
Lowest-rated GEN title: Batman Returns (5.5)
Total GEN average: 7.5 

Highest-rated SNES title: Final Fantasy VI (9.7)
Lowest-rated SNES title: The Rocketeer (1.8)
Total SNES average: 6.5

Highest-rated X360 title: Mass Effect 2 (9.4)
Lowest-rated X360 title: Gears of War (7.8)
Total X360 average: 8.7

---

RANDOM STATS

This blog has been hit a total of 13 380 times. The most hits are from May, 2011. Fans of Star Wars and Disney out there, maybe?

The single most read entry is Top 20 SNES Games. The most read review is that of Final Fantasy VII. As a matter of fact, 6 out of the Top 10 entries are reviews of Final Fantasy games. You seem to know your games!

The most awkward search engine entry I've bumped into: "lulu +fantasy +cleavage". Whatever works for you pervs. :D

The three countries with the most readers are the United States, Finland (no surprise there), and Denmark. Thanks, kiitos and tak.

---

ANSWERS TO RANDOM FAQ

How many games are there left on "THE LIST"?
I love making stats, but not that much. It's really hard to say, but the number's somewhere between 1 200 and 1 400. Trust me, I'm not running out of material any time soon.

But, you have already written 300 reviews and it's been a year.
To be more precise, I have published 300 reviews. Nearly every review published in August 2010 was previously written, between 2008 and early 2010. I'm not quite the nerd I have perhaps made myself out to be. ;)

Will there ever be a definitive end to the Mario / Castlevania / etc. reviews / marathons?
I've been on the Mario franchise's case once again for the last week. It was a conscious choice, because I wanted to return to some classic franchises that include games I first reviewed on this blog. To the actual question, my answer is yes. There aren't too many Mario games left for me to review, however I sincerely doubt this ongoing marathon would be the last Mario-thon. As for other franchises such as Castlevania, I think the end is coming a bit sooner. 

What's the best game you have originally started to play just to write a review of it, and did not expect to become a fan?
That's one damn easy question. Mass Effect 2, bar none. I was really surprised by it. Overall, there haven't been that many games I haven't played before creating the blog, at least not many nearly as great as Mass Effect 2.

Will there be another "RPG time", perhaps by the end of the year? The Final Fantasy marathon was superb.
Thanks, I'm quite proud of that one myself. Yeah, I believe so. Many readers are asking for an Elder Scrolls marathon, but I think that's a thing of the not-so-near future. Since I will most likely buy Skyrim, I think that game will be reviewed individually, and the rest of the series later. However, I have thought of reviewing it in a bundle with some other RPG's, both well-known and some obscure ones. There are still lots of good RPG's for me to review, from all times.

Are there any conclusive ratings you regret giving? Ever considered re-reviewing such games?
Plenty of 'em. I have quite enough games on my plate to consider that option. I've changed a lot as a writer, a critic and a player during the last three years, and there are definitely a lot of old reviews I regret writing altogether. This doesn't only concern bad games, but also good ones which are perhaps not quite worth of their very high conclusive ratings. 

Do you still think Attack of the Killer Tomatoes deserved the all-time lowest rating on the blog?
Oh, hell yes. 

How about Final Fantasy VII, which holds the all-time highest rating?
It's my favourite video game of all time. Did it deserve a 9.8? I don't know, but I had to separate it from every other game in the world. To me, 9.7 is pretty much the top rating. As I've said before, there is no perfect game. Until there is, 9.9 and 10 will remain untouched. Will a game come and equal Final Fantasy VII in my books? That's perfectly possible, and I'm rooting for Mass Effect 3.

You only reviewed WWE games in your professional wrestling marathon. How about those classic WCW games?
At least three WCW games will be reviewed at some point. Right now, I have no interest in them.

I'm with the minority that still loves rhythm games and I would love it if you would do a rhythm game marathon.
Well, I think that if I don't do it this year, I never will, since my enthusiasm towards the genre is steadily fading into nothingness. You'll probably get your wish by the end of the year.

Will you review more movies and music? 
Yes to the movies, probably no to the music. I reviewed the discography of The Black Mages as a part of the Final Fantasy marathon, there was no other reason behind it and it didn't feel comfortable. I've been planning to return to music journalism, but right now, I'm only interested in writing about games, and I don't really have time to write anything else. Movie reviews are definitely coming, but I've been a really, really lazy movie watcher lately.

REVIEW - Super Smash Bros. (1999)

GENRE(S): Fighting
RELEASED: January 1999
AVAILABLE ON: N64, Wii Virtual Console
DEVELOPER(S): HAL Laboratory
PUBLISHER(S): Nintendo
PLAYERS: 1-4

This is an excerpt from an actual conversation. A friend of mine had taken note of a certain statement I made on the blog a long time ago, about Mario and his history. I said there was no video game genre that Mario wouldn't have starred in. He said there was no fighting game starring Mario; without reflecting on that counter-statement for one full second, I said "Super Smash Bros." The look on his face screamed out "Ohhhhh yeaaaaaah", and then he said "You wanna Smash?", or something of the sort. Sure, I did. Super Smash Bros. is one weird fighting game, and a true gem among many great multiplayer-oriented games for the Nintendo 64. Up 'til now, though, I had never even thought about going at the game alone, so I had no previous experience with the single-player mode. Now I do, and I must say I thought this review would end a little differently. Super Smash Bros. is still a good, unique game in a genre in which being unique is truly rare, but the single-player mode does not compare to the sweaty multiplayer mayhem by a long shot.

I said: get off my ship! *clutch* *swoosh* *BOOM*

Eight dolls modelled after popular Nintendo characters are brought to life by the Master Hand to compete in a one-on-one fighting tournament. Trippy.

Riding on a McCloud.

When I so much as think of Super Smash Bros., my palms start to sweat and I remember all those merciless four-player tournaments I've had with my friends - and, for your information, I never played this game when Nintendo 64 was in the cycle. I actually didn't know what Super Smash Bros. even was before my best friend bought the sequel Melee for his GameCube. I first played the game with a group of friends just a few years ago, and I was instantly hooked on it. Even if I kept losing, and hearing my friend go "get the fuck out" every 20 seconds, mercilessly mauling my character and hurling him off the playfield, I couldn't help but ask him to give me one last chance... about a hundred of 'em. It's an amazing multiplayer experience. The single-player experience of the "story" is diverse, I'll give it that much, but all there is to it might be dealt with in 20 minutes.

The game looks very nice and the animation is spotless. Compared to some Nintendo 64 games that were released around the same time, even later, Super Smash Bros. looks like it's for some completely other, more recent platform. Alongside Mario Party, it's one of the best-looking games on the Nintendo 64, which never really shined in visual delivery. The soundtrack includes good remixes of many classic theme songs from all the represented franchises. The voice samples are groovy, until you realize there are two Pokémon characters in this game.

A big f'n ape on the loose.

I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I consider Pokémon, the whole media franchise, to be one of the most annoying fads in history. I've never liked it. The show, the characters, not even the games. They're apparently quite good, but I'll take people's words for it. I'm never going to touch them - so, Super Smash Bros. is the closest to a Pokémon game you're ever going to read about on this blog. I'm sorry. Now that this little fact is out in the open, let's move on.

There are eight characters for you to choose from in the beginning of the game (Mario, Donkey Kong, Link, Samus Aran, Yoshi, Fox McCloud, Kirby and Pikachu), and by meeting very different criterias with varying difficulty, you can unlock four more characters: Luigi, Jigglypuff, Ness from EarthBound, and Captain Falcon from F-Zero. Luigi, for example, is unlocked by conquering a bonus challenge in the middle of the game with all characters. This basically means you'd have to finish the single-player game a total of eight times, with all characters. I don't know if I'd be ready to go to such lengths just to get Luigi, the challenge is moderately tough and the single-player game's attraction starts to wear out after three times at the most. Especially if you've unlocked the rest of the hidden characters already.

All this criticism towards the single-player game does not mean it wouldn't stand out. You're not just fighting every other character on the roster to conquer the game. At three different points of the tourney, a whole team formed by a total of 30 characters is on your ass in a mayhemic slobberknocker. These are perhaps the best parts of the single-player tourney. Also, there are three boss fights which can't be won by using only standard means of combat - against a giant Donkey Kong, in which you have a randomly selected duo of characters at your side; against Metal Mario from Super Mario 64, who is very durable and tough to throw around, and finally, Master Hand, who's huge in size, he has the power of flight, and an amount of HP instead of the regular damage counter. There are three different bonus games in which your success depends mostly on something else than fighting, such as precision jumping. It's really not this game's thing, and all of these bonus games are probably the game's weakest spots.

A pink Kirby wearing my hat can not be
left alive.

The way Super Smash Bros. works is very, very simple. "Smash" is the word. You can strategize all you want, but the truth is that your sole purpose is to smash the controller to bits while mauling the living shit out of your opponent. As they take damage, they grow more vulnerable to special attacks and less capable of climbing up once they're pushed or thrown over the playfield's edge. My usual strategy is to go straight at 'em, unleash a flurry of powerful attacks unique to the used character (for example, Samus can morph into a ball and leave a bomb at her opponents' feet in the classic Metroid style), then grab them by the hair - if they have any - and hurl them into the deep unknown. In the single-player game, that strategy works a little too well... not on any of the bosses, though. In the later stages of the single-player game, blocking and evading the opponents' attacks becomes way more crucial than it is in the beginning. At least the first fight against Master Hand should be fought with the least loss of lives possible, since you're sure to meet another challenger after the end credits have rolled, your remaining lives from the final boss fight will carry over and you can't unlock the character without beating him. The different items and weapons have some real, practical use only on a couple of choice occasions. Some like 'em, I don't think they're that essential.

I am not tripping. I am fighting a huge hand in
outer space.

All in all, Super Smash Bros. is a very easy game. Normal is the highest level of difficulty you need to play at and conquer to unlock every character. Some criterias are hard to meet, but with just a little practice, you're sure to have a full roster in no time. After that's done, all there is left is the multiplayer mode, which is the game at its prime. As I said, there are many excellent multiplayer games on the Nintendo 64. Super Smash Bros. is among the best, but while making it, HAL didn't have much sympathy for people with no friends, or people like me, to whom a multiplayer mode is usually just a neat extra and it's the single-player mode that really counts.

Super Smash Bros. is a classic, no doubt about it, and as a whole experience, it's basically one of my all-time favourite fighting games. However, beating the single-player mode is effortless, everything truly essential to the gameplay is so easy to master - and after playing just a few rounds of that very same game, even with a different character, the need for a friend or two (or three) to come over becomes unbearable. It's not meant for us lonely hearts.

GRAPHICS : 9.3
SOUND : 8.6
PLAYABILITY : 8.6
LIFESPAN : 7.5
CONCLUSION : 8.2

TRIVIA

a.k.a. Nintendo All-Star! Dairantō Smash Brothers (JAP)

GameRankings: 78.25%

Nintendo Power ranks Super Smash Bros. #19 on their list of the Top 200 Nintendo Games of All Time.

Mario, Luigi, Samus Aran, Donkey Kong and Link previously appeared together in Nintendo's NES version of Tetris.

REVIEW - Mario Golf: Advance Tour (2004)

GENRE(S): Sports / RPG
RELEASED: April 2004
AVAILABLE ON: GBA
DEVELOPER(S): Camelot Software Planning
PUBLISHER(S): Nintendo
PLAYERS: 1-4

Golf games have existed on Nintendo consoles since the beginning of time; a game simply entitled Golf was released on Famicom in 1984, and it was one of the first games for the NES. That game already starred one of the many incarnations of Mario. The real Mario, as we've grown to know him, got his first golf game in 1991 in the form of NES Open Tournament Golf. In 1999, Mario Golf was released on the Nintendo 64 and the Game Boy Color. Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour for the GameCube followed in 2003, and in 2004, the Mario Golf sub-franchise was brought to the Game Boy Advance with Mario Golf: Advance Tour. This game differed from all that had come before by mixing traditional sports with role-playing - except for the Game Boy Color game, which already had some RPG elements in it. Critics loved the game and christened it one of the best sports games ever; as I said before in the case of Mario Tennis: Power Tour, I came here for a sports event, not a half-assed RPG, but being the first full-blooded hybrid in Camelot's awkward series of sports RPG's, Mario Golf: Advance Tour is not quite as unbalanced and annoying as its previously reviewed "sequel".

Down in a hole

Neil and Ella are among the newest members of the Marion Golf Club. They're training under the watchful eye of a group of pros, aiming to some day equal the skills of the greatest golfer alive: Mario.

Yeah, sure, but where's the golf course?

Let's start with something positive for a change; I'd like to tell you a bit about a few things I love, that are crucial to this case. Camelot proved their worth as video game developers to me with Golden Sun for the Game Boy Advance in 2001; I consider the game one of the greatest in history, and perhaps the best handheld game of all time. It's fabulous. I never really got into Shining Force, since I was far from being a Sega fanatic when that franchise was the second hottest shit in the RPG scene, and as I have told you in the past, I'm not a huge fan of strategy games or strategy-based role-playing. In 1998, Camelot put the Shining Force series on an indefinite hold, and began making sports games, first for Sony, then for Nintendo. I believe it was my much-loved Golden Sun, and the following indecision whether Camelot wanted to make sports games, or RPG's, and their previous success with Mario Golf for the Game Boy Color, that sparked their interest to make these sports RPG's. I think it was a bad call, but what do I know? I'm a player, not a critic. (Feel the sarcasm. Feel it.)

Then, another essential thing I love: the golf game in Wii Sports. Yes, I know Wii Sports was released in 2006, which means it should not be compared to any golf game with traditional control, it's unfair - but it's also damn true that it revolutionized my personal, as well as many other people's take on video golf. Golf has never been enough of a physical sport to make a real impact as a video game, if you ask me. Golf games have always been fun to some extent - I remember long sessions with Golf on the NES - but after Wii Sports came along with the real, physical swings of the club, all the old golf games haven't really done it for me. Wii Sports pointed out all the flaws in old golf games. Golf is simply a sport in which you need to have a true feel of the game. After having a gazillion tournaments with my friends actually standing up, measuring the wind and its potential effect on my game, swinging the imaginary club and cracking it in half against my knee after failing the most generic putt, it feels awkward to backtrack in time and do all of these things by using traditional action buttons of a traditional controller - or in this case, an even more awkward Game Boy Advance unit. ...And, once again, Mario Golf: Advance Tour is a damn role-playing game rather than a no-frills sports title. Not the most exciting trip for me to take, but all things considered, it's not exactly an awful one either.

Ah, here we go. But who's the dork?

The graphics are quite good. Golf is a game in which dimensions are very important, and I think that point has been well considered and executed. Even though the game's missing a visible wind effect (naturally), it's comfortable to play... once you get to actually playing golf, that is! The RPG portions of the game chime of a cuter Golden Sun. The music in the game is quite good, at least better than usual.

The fact is that I don't care much for golf as a real-life sport. To me, it's always been the game of rich, self-absorbed, old, cigar smoking corporate leaders rather than one I would ever be interested in. Like I said before, I've played a lot of video games based on golf, and Mario Golf: Advance Tour turns out one of the best of its traditional kind... once it lets you play golf. The role-playing parts of the game are not quite as lengthy or dull as those of Mario Tennis: Power Tour, but they're still very much detached from what I expected out of this game - what I expected was what it says on the cover: "GOLF". Well, this game's box also clearly states "Role-Playing Golf!". The Story Mode has a decent pace and it's much more balanced than the Story Mode in the "sequel" - that's all I'm going to note about it, I'm just interested in what should be the game's sole purpose, and enjoying a straightforward game of golf, one should steer away from the Story Mode and head into Quick Game.

Now, this is more like it!

The Quick Game introduces several fun game types and I'm glad to see there is much content squeezed in with consideration to the real target group. By default, you can choose from four Mario characters: Mario, Yoshi, Peach (Toadstool. - I promise this will be the last time I do that!) and Donkey Kong. You'll be able to unlock the generic original characters as you make progress, win games and gain levels in the Story Mode. Each character varies in skill, or to be more precise, their swings are different. DK is the toughest character to learn to use efficiently due to the impressive spin he puts into his one-hand swings, but since Bowser isn't in, I'm compelled to play as him. Stroke Play is pretty much standard golf in which your aim is to win a whole round with the fewest total strokes possible. In Near-Pin, your aim is to land a single shot as close to the pin as possible. Go-Go Gates is like croquet, but on a golf course. In Club Slots, a slot machine determines your club for each shot. Speed Golf is quite self-explanatory; your goal is to finish a whole round in the shortest possible time. Doubles lets you team up with a character of your choosing, against another team - standard in tennis, quite awkward in golf. All of these modes increase the game's lifespan by quite a lot, but should you pay for it? The actual golf game in Mario Golf: Advance Tour is so well put together for a handheld, that I'd say: yeah, sure. If you're a golf fan. If you can tolerate a half-baked RPG on top of it, it's a mandatory purchase.

Mario Tennis: Power Tour was not too comfortable to play from any angle, at least not for me, but Mario Golf: Advance Tour, aside from the completely useless and out-of-place RPG elements, is a fairly entertaining game of its kind. It's way more of a sports game than its spiritual sequel, and a well-designed one when it comes to the actual golf interface. I'm probably never going to play the game again, but at least it left a better aftertaste than the tennis game. 

GRAPHICS : 8.5
SOUND : 7.3
PLAYABILITY : 7.5
LIFESPAN : 7.0
CONCLUSION : 7.3

TRIVIA

a.k.a. Mario Golf: GBA Tour (JAP)

GameRankings: 85.59%

REVIEW - Mario Party 3 (2000)

GENRE(S): Party / Compilation
RELEASED: December 2000
AVAILABLE ON: N64
DEVELOPER(S): Hudson Soft
PUBLISHER(S): Nintendo
PLAYERS: 1-8

As tradition went, Mario Party 3 was released just a few days shy of a year after its predecessor. It included 70 all-new minigames, while the very basic gameplay remained untouched. As much as I'd like to look at it gratefully due to its awaited departure from the last two games and its usually effective basic formula, the truth is that the final Mario Party game for the Nintendo 64 is pretty much a miserable failure. Over a half of the new minigames are not much to look at, and extremely good luck is nothing less of a mandatory trait if you want to beat Mario Party 3 - or even one round of it.

This game is not for sore losers

There are plenty of new item games, not just
one per board. It's not much of a positive,
since the Story Mode sucks.

A Millennium Star falls down to Mushroom Kingdom, and immediately catches the attention of Mario, Luigi, Peach, Donkey Kong, Yoshi, Wario, Waluigi and Daisy. Legend has it that whoever has possession of a Millennium Star is a true superstar. The eight characters begin a Mario Party contest for possession of the star. The star itself is eager to see who of the eight has got what it takes to possess him, and watches the characters every step of the way.

The graphics are still exactly the same, there's no change whatsoever. The music has gone through some changes since the composer's different (Ichiro Shimakura), but the feel of it is still the same and it's not too bad. The new voice samples are a bit more tolerable than those in the previous games.

The game has two different modes: the Party Mode and the Story Mode. For all intents and purposes, the Party Mode is the better mode of the two. It gives you access to all vintage Mario Party content: a minigame room, all the maps, and a whole new Duel Mode, whatever you can scoop up from the earlier games. Like I said, the minigames are not really that good. There's a fair deal of entertaining games among the 71 whole new ones, but I guess that at some point, somewhere at or after the halfway mark, the developers ran out of good ideas, because some of them just simply suck; whether they're once again wholly luck-based games of assrape, or just dumb ideas, rejected during the development of the previous titles. Did it ever occur to Hudson that if they were to make a completely new and fresh Mario Party title, maybe they should not have hurried so much? It's not like every Christmas wouldn't be complete without a new Mario Party game.

Ridiculous Relay sure is ridiculous.

The Story Mode has you embark on a single-player exclusive journey across every map in the game, plus a final "boss fight" - in other words, it has you eat your ass from a plate. Remember how hard it was to win one single round against the CPU in the earlier games? Well, get a load of this. Once again, this is a single-player game and there's nothing you can do about it. You must WIN once on every single map. For your information: yes, you can still go from sure winner to sure loser in a heartbeat, the opponents show no mercy or any small glint of artificial kindness. The A.I. is extremely dumb when it comes to some certain aspects of gameplay; for example, it keeps buying items it has no use for, and using those items at the most awkward moments possible, and often on opponents the item has no practical effect on. Still, somewhat magically, the A.I. always finds the best route to Millennium Star (who now sells the stars to the players instead of Toad), and always seems to have the best items and right numbers of the dice block for every situation. Luckily the Story Mode's rounds are automatically set to 15 turns, but one round still takes something like 45 minutes to complete. It is quite disheartening to be in the lead for 30 minutes, and then drop down the ranks like a bomb during the last five turns.

I like many new innovations in Mario Party 3 and I'm not saying the game is all bad, but after two such solid efforts by Hudson and Nintendo, it is a disappointment. First of all, the maps aren't nearly as straightforward, there are many choices of route. No longer will you have to just watch as the star space moves right in front of your opponents while you have just passed that point, you can often try to find an alternate route and hope that the dice block is on your side for once. The happenings can be avoided in a sequence called Action Time. For example, if someone triggers a giant snowball to roll across the field, you can jump over it with good timing. However, the oh, so clever CPU usually uses this particular happening for his/her own benefit, since being chased down the board by the giant snowball often takes them closer to the star space. You'd do well to remember that, as well. There are two different shops that look identical from the outside; once you stop at a shop, either Baby Bowser or Toad appears at random. Baby Bowser sells tools for mischief (like those extremely annoying Boo Bells), while Toad sells stuff that also helps, but leaves the opposition be (such as Mushrooms). There are many different Duels - this time, they're not just simple, brief bonus games, but fully loaded one-on-one minigames in the vein of the rest, that are essential to the Duel Mode.

Now this is one good minigame. I like games
that test your memory.

The Story Mode is not hard, it's extremely unfair. An optimist might say it's all up to your skill of deducing the opponent's next move, and good management and effective use of your items, but a realist downright knows none of that's the case. Losing a round three times in a row, with the decisive punch to the face thrown during the last three turns every single time is not my idea of a fun, fair game. Especially since the rounds take so damn long to finish. The Story Mode is a waste of time. If you're a fan of Mario Party, you will want this game for the Party Mode only. Alas, the minigames are not that good. Like I said, there are good ones, but there are also a lot of bad ones, and I miss some classics from the previous games. Also, as you already might have guessed, the same games repeat. Constantly. Once again, after five rounds, you're lucky to have seen one third of the games.

Mario Party 3 is the worst whole experience in this sub-franchise I've had thus far. It has so much to go on, but it lacks so much more. The Story Mode's cool and addictive at first, but once you realize good luck's the one and only thing on your side, and that you have to win seven rounds on different maps to get to the end, that addiction wears out very quickly.

GRAPHICS : 9.1
SOUND : 7.3
PLAYABILITY : 6.4
LIFESPAN : 6.5
CONCLUSION : 6.4

TRIVIA

GameRankings: 73.64%

REVIEW - Mario Party 2 (1999)

GENRE(S): Party / Compilation
RELEASED: December 1999
AVAILABLE ON: N64, Wii Virtual Console
DEVELOPER(S): Hudson Soft
PUBLISHER(S): Nintendo
PLAYERS: 1-4

Mario Party was a commercial jackpot and it called for a quick sequel, which arrived just in time for the Christmas market of 1999. The developers fixed the most major mistakes they made with the first game, and added just enough exciting new features to the game to once again rake in the cash and moderate praise from critics. It's not that different from its predecessor, there's a disappointing amount of new minigames and it's even less of a fair game to a single player altogether than the first one, but there's no question about it: Mario Party 2 is fun.

"AWW, COME ON!!!"

Toad in the Box.

Mario, Luigi, Yoshi, Donkey Kong and Peach discover a new world, which they baptize Mario Land. Wario interferes with their ceremony and demands the world to be named after him instead, since he believes he is the only true superstar out of the six. After this statement, each person begins to claim the world for their own. While they're arguing over the name, Bowser invades Mario Land. Toad, who never runs out of ideas, suggests that whoever is a superstar enough to defeat Bowser, will get the world named after them.

I don't really have anything deep to discuss about Mario Party 2, so I'll get right into the game. The graphics haven't been updated in the slightest. The game looks different due to the different surroundings, technically it's completely unchanged - in other words, it's one of the nicest- and smoothest-looking games on the Nintendo 64 just like its predecessor. The voice samples are exactly the same as before - in other words, horrible - but the music is slightly better. Yasunori Mitsuda is once again in the lead, but this time he's assisted by a group of three. I believe each and every minigame has a different theme song.

It's a tank battle to the death!

If you played Mario Party, I believe you're going to find Mario Party 2 instantly accessible. It is different, though. There's just one main mode, one mode you need to clash through to see everything there is to see - the mode previously known as Adventure. There are five different boards/maps for you to choose from, and once you've played at least one game on each map at any speed (Lite/Standard/Full), one final, ultra-hard map is unlocked. Unlocking new minigames is very slow. In the first game, you could constantly try out new minigames by making progress on the Mini-Game Island; here, the only way is to clash through the boards and hope for a new minigame each time a minigame is randomly selected. It can take forever for you to unlock each one of the 65 minigames. I played three games at standard speed, and ended up with a total of 26 unlocked minigames; they repeat themselves more than a little. Once unlocked, you can buy the minigames for free use in Mini-Game Land with all the coins and stars each player has collected, whether they're human opponents or CPU's. Every participant's success counts to the money at your disposal.

There's a lot more going on on the maps than in the first game - which means you're in for a potentially, and very likely, extremely unfair game. To prove my point, I was playing as Mario, and winning by four stars and a decent amount of coins. I lost at many minigames and Luigi had pretty good chances of getting the Mini-Game Star as a bonus reward in the end of the round (you can turn off the bonus stars this time to improve your chances). Well, Luigi didn't have one single star by the end of the game when there were only three turns left, and I was very sure he would be the ultimate loser. Well, he stole a star from me and he had a Magic Lamp, which allows the player to be transported straight to Toad. Check another star for him. Then, he got two bonus stars in the end of the game - Luigi was the winner. This game can, and probably will, turn on you at ANY point. Success is not to be taken for granted even if there are only a few turns left, and you're lightyears ahead of the opposition. It took four games for me to finally win, and it was out of pure luck.

The new item games are quite entertaining, not
to mention rewarding.

The minigames are not that luck-based anymore, the dynamics are a little better throughout the line and the importance of the analog stick has decreased notably due to the lawsuit Nintendo had on their hands because of the mayhem they put players through in the last game. Also, there are much less games which result in the loss of one or more players - there are no losers, there are only winners, which on my account is a good modification to the game. In addition to the standard minigames, each map has a different, unique item game, unique Bowser events, and a duel event, in which you can challenge an opponent for coins. Also, there's a battle, in which each player pays an entrance fee for a random last man standing-type of minigame. The winner collects most of the money in the pot and whoever comes second collects a small percentage. Sometimes, even whoever finished third wins a coin or two. There's also a bank on each map, and if just passing through, each player needs to pay up five coins. If a lucky person happens to stop at the bank, he/she wins all the coins deposited. In addition, there are much more Happening Spaces on the board than last time around, and Big Boo appears a bit more often. So yeah, this game was made to end friendships, but it causes even more sorrow for a single player - the A.I. was apparently designed to drive you insane. It pulls such stunts at such opportune moments, the most opportune moment being the very end of the game, that playing a Standard or Full game in single-player mode is mental murder.

The most important new feature in Mario Party 2 is without a doubt the inclusion of a sensical Item Shop, which is to be found on each map. From there, you can buy items that further improve your chances of winning, or simply screwing at least one of your opponents over and shoving a ten-foot pole up their ass. Perhaps the most essential item is the Golden Mushroom, which works the same way as the regular one, which was already present in the previous game, only this one allows you to hit the dice block three times in succession. You can carry only one item at a time, and as expected, players can steal items from each other by using a special item called the Plunder Chest, so they need to be used carefully, but urgently - the CPU just LOVES buying and using the Plunder Chest.

FINALLY!

As I said before, the amount of new minigames is quite disappointing, and all of those that were carried over from the first game in a different form or merely in a different surrounding, were definitely not the best ones Mario Party had to offer. There are some cool and addictive new games, though, and I can't really name many minigames I would particularly hate. One thing that's deeply wrong with every single one of them, though, is that they never change. There's simply no variation to their difficulty level, or new stipulations to the gameplay. They're always the same - master them once, and you'll be pretty sure to win them every single time. The 11th or 12th game of Destruction Duet or Totem Pole Pound shows just how devastating repetition can be at its worst.

So, once again: you need to play through every map in the game at least once to have the best chance of unlocking everything in the game. After passing a certain point, you will unlock the Mini-Game Coaster within the Mini-Game Land, which is very similar to the Mini-Game Island in the first game, but more of an extra for you to conquer. In any case, Mario Party 2 was made to tide the franchise's followers over right up until the release of another sequel, so it has a lot in store for lovers of multiplayer mayhem, not much more or less for a single player than the first game, though.

Mario Party 2 is another good game in a unique franchise, and fit for everyone, from the cradle to the rocking chair. It's very accessible, diverse and features a basketful of highly entertaining minigames; I just wish unlocking those minigames would be little less time consuming and frankly, dull.

GRAPHICS : 9.1
SOUND : 7.2
PLAYABILITY : 7.5
LIFESPAN : 8.0
CONCLUSION : 7.7

TRIVIA

GameRankings: 75.94%

REVIEW - Mario Party (1998)

GENRE(S): Party / Compilation
RELEASED: December 1998
AVAILABLE ON: N64
DEVELOPER(S): Hudson Soft
PUBLISHER(S): Nintendo
PLAYERS: 1-4

The Mario Party series has never exactly been a critics' favourite, but it has such a solid fanbase that a total of ten games have seen release in the last 13 years, and an 11th game is on the way for the Wii. The first video board game crossed with a compilation of Mario-themed minigames was released in Japan in late 1998, and became an instant hit. Even though Mario Party has a lot of troublesome issues related to controls and the total occasional absence of fair play, it still manages to entertain single players and small groups of people alike. Let's party.

Superstars in the making

Mario, Luigi, Wario, Peach, Yoshi and Donkey Kong are engaged in an argument over which one of them is a true superstar. Toad comes up with the idea of having the six embark on an adventure to search for stars and claim superstardom.

Beating Mario Bandstand as the conductor has
NOTHING to do with skill.

Last year, I reviewed the much panned Mario Party Advance, and I somewhat enjoyed the game; I'm usually much pickier than other critics, but I don't know, something about the game rubbed me in a good way, and I ended up writing perhaps the most positive Mario Party Advance review in the world. Before I played Mario Party Advance, I had no idea what the whole series was about. After having a decent experience with the game, I somewhat promised to review the first three games in the series for the Nintendo 64, should an opportunity arise. Here I am, cashing in on that promise, and I must say I'm pleased with this first game. It's far from perfect, and I'm sure to tell you why, but it's just as fun and addictive as it looks on the outside.

The game sports some of the nicest graphics we ever saw on the Nintendo 64, even though some character models look a bit odd, and not in the most flattering way either. The game features 53 completely different minigames with totally different, good looks. The framerate is smooth throughout the line, and the boards (or "maps", as they're called in-game) are amazingly detailed, colourful and neat. The music really isn't too good. There are some heavily remixed, vintage Mario tunes - which form the better half of the soundtrack - and some very generic island jive. I seriously gasped when I heard that Yasunori Mitsuda of Chrono Trigger fame single-handedly composed the music for this game. I never would've guessed. The voice samples are quite horrible, especially those of Peach (Toadstool.).

Pound the cloud to make Piranha bigger and
faster, and able to catch and eat your opponent.
Good friendly family fun.

For those of you still wondering what the hell Mario Party is, exactly, let me break it down for you. It's a board game with dozens of minigames for you to master. There are two main modes in Mario Party: Mini-Game Island, and Adventure. Mini-Game Island is a single-player campaign, which has numbered worlds and levels like a traditional Mario game. Each level is a different minigame, and you need to meet a case-sensitive criteria set by Toad to pass it. This is a great way to practice each game, BUT your progress will most likely end in World 6; Mario Bandstand is infamously nearly impossible to beat. It takes an enormous stroke of luck to beat the game in this mode. Many minigames in Mario Party are unfortunately more dependent on luck rather than skill, and any minigame in which jumping is essential is, without exceptions, a pain in the ass, especially Platform Peril and Teetering Towers. Once I finally figured out I couldn't beat Mario Bandstand - I nailed it perfectly, but still lost the contest - a really sour aftertaste crept to the tip of my tongue, and right down my throat. It was time to move on to the Adventure; one of the most unfair board games I've ever seen, but hopelessly addictive.

The boards look extremely pleasant.

The Adventure is the butter on Mario Party's bread, and you'll definitely get the most out of it by having a full group of four people playing the game, but it's fun even if you're going at it alone or with a smaller group of friends. Your primary goal is to collect stars. Each map has a secondary goal of its own, but what you're basically supposed to do is to move on the board and collect coins. When you pass Toad, you can buy a star from him with 20 coins. The other players may screw you over and steal your stars by bumping into Big Boo and paying him 50 coins. Coins are gained from each standard blue space on the board, from the start space, and of course, minigames, which are triggered randomly each time every player has had his/her turn. The type of the game is random, and it can be an all-out vs. game, a co-operative game in which two, three or all of the players must work towards the same goal, or a single-player game which lets you work at total peace without having to put up with your opponents' bullshit. Bowser's camping on the board as well, and if any of the players bump into him, the confrontation usually results in some unfair Bowser minigame which very often affects all players, or a scene of general misbehaviour by every Nintendo kid's favourite villain.

It's like Hot Potato, only the potato is a live bomb.

There are three different speeds to the Adventure, and Lite (20 turns) is definitely the way to go for a single-player. The two lengthier options make the game last forever and lose its point. Anything less than 20 turns, however, would kill your chances in this game, because it's so unpredictable. Well, sure, it's a board game - just like in real board games, you might start out as a sure winner but be an equally sure loser just two or three turns later - but sometimes, I wonder. You're the closest player to the star space, and all you keep getting from the dice block is 1, while the other players make huge leaps of 10 steps one turn after another, eventually getting the star. Then, the star space moves up right behind you, and you cannot make a u-turn on the board; you can only change your route in intersections in front of you. I smell a rat. There's usually one CPU opponent that spells the most trouble for you - that does everything in his/her power to fuck the game up, for others as well as themselves, but still manages to succeed in the game as far as coins and stars are concerned. Here's looking at you, Yoshi - you stupid, green son of a bitch. He made my first Adventure a freakin' nightmare - and as a twist of the knife, he won the whole thing. Coins, stars, and the three awards. All of them.

Perhaps the easiest memory match game ever.

The same minigames start to repeat rather quickly, and after (you've tried) beating Mini-Game Island once, and perhaps a few Adventures, the game's single-player attraction is all but dead. The map of Mushroom Village looks like it's holding a lot, but it really isn't. The Item Shop is completely useless, it sells some random trinkets that have no actual use whatsoever. You can play minigames freely without criteria in the Mini-Game Shop, which I also consider a filler because there are two main modes with these same minigames, and you can store your items in the Bank - again, those completely useless items. The game is cramped with crap - there are only those two modes that make some sense. As a multiplayer game, Mario Party was made to last, at the very least until the inevitable release of Mario Party 2.

Mario Party has quite an ongoing legacy, and the first game itself has its highly entertaining moments. Some of the minigames are highly difficult or even downright impossible to beat, at least by playing alone, some of them are plain stupid, some of them are hard to understand by just reading Toad's explanations of them, the crappy jumping dynamics kill all games in which they're essential, and the games in which you have to rotate the analog stick at hundred rounds per second to succeed are infamously nasty, both mentally and physically. It still has its moments, it's addictive and with a great deal of luck on your side, you can play through one Adventure without ever having to deal with any crappy minigames. The best thing about Mario Party is that it's one game that's definitely suitable for all ages. That narrows down the search for potential human opponents, which you will want to have sooner or later. 

GRAPHICS : 9.1
SOUND : 6.5
PLAYABILITY : 7.1
LIFESPAN : 8.0
CONCLUSION : 7.3

TRIVIA

a.k.a. Mario Party 64, Mario Party 1

GameRankings: 78.82%

Nintendo Power ranks Mario Party #98 on their list of the Top 200 Nintendo Games of All Time. 

A group of parents sued Nintendo of America for the few minigames which require the player to rotate the analog stick at an extremely rapid pace, because doing this didn't just potentially damage the expensive controller, but caused visible hand injuries to their children. Nintendo was found guilty and was forced to pay fines to the plaintiffs, as well as give out free gloves to anyone who hurt their hands playing Mario Party.