keskiviikko 8. tammikuuta 2014

REVIEW - X-Men II | PC | 1991

GENRE(S): Action / Adventure / RPG / Roguelike
RELEASED: 1991
AVAILABLE ON: PC
DEVELOPER(S): Paragon Software
PUBLISHER(S): Paragon Software

So, the 1989 game commonly known as X-Men: Madness in Murderworld actually got a sequel; as it turns out, the game was X-Men II by informal title only, to clarify the fact that these games were developed and published by the same company. As a game, X-Men II - or X-Men II: The Fall of the Mutants, as it is commonly known - is totally different from its "predecessor". What we have here is an "RPG" that kinda looks like Gauntlet by a quick look, and swipes a bit off from console RPG's too. In truth, what we have here is a totally incoherent, incredibly cryptic mess of a "game", that just might've been conceived during one single drunken night at the Paragon offices. It's so ridiculously bad it's nearly entertaining.

And your first challenge is: getting to the title screen

The X-Men go on a search and rescue mission to find their missing comrades Storm and Forge, who have been kidnapped by the Adversary, and run into the Freedom Force. Both opposing teams are caught in a time warp which causes serious ripples in time, causing barbarians and dinosaurs to run rampant in modern Dallas... and seemingly not much else worth mentioning...

Until about a week ago, I knew nothing of this particular pair of X-Men games beyond its existence. When I finally got around to this phase of the marathon, totally stunned at how royally the first NES game actually sucked, I was pretty much ready to doom this whole marathon to hell. However, I saw a lot going for the first DOS game before I even started it and I got my hopes up for a decent curiosity item. Perhaps I wouldn't go as far as to call it even decent, but it had good ideas. Perhaps with the sequel, those good ideas would be translated to an actual game a bit better. Then it turns out that the game has virtually nothing to do with the previous one, even though it's dubbed X-Men II. And, although once again it differs from the usual superhero schtick, its good ideas go to waste in a terrible game. Wait... what good ideas...? X-Men II is such pain from the very start - even before the start - that I'm not sure whether I should score the game at all. Then again, it does look the part. And, I laughed at it - let it be known that I was not even able to laugh at the NES game.

Whoa. That's what I'd like to see in an X-Men
movie. Or not.
Starting this game up is a challenge of its own. Uatu the Watcher shows up and asks for your preferred settings for a/v, controls and combat (either unanimated, turn-based combat out of a role-playing card game or side-scrolling action, just guess my ultimate choice), and doesn't seem to respond to anything, especially actual changes to the settings. You can just keep pressing Enter to get forward, but that doesn't help you a whole lot, now does it? Some changes have to be made for this game to actually run. Well, you have to press the starting letter of each option; figured that out on my third try to get the game started. Choosing characters is easy enough, and there's quite a lot of them. You get five picks from a total of 15 X-Men, that's pretty rad. Well, then comes area select. Pressing those letters from before doesn't help. Enter doesn't help. Nothing seems to help. The game seems to have crashed, until you take a wild guess and press 1, 2 or 3. Now you're cooking... or are you?

So, the game is a roguelike RPG, meaning it's one confusing pile of randomly generated screen upon another, filled with traps and power-ups only one of your party can disarm or use, respectively. Who? No idea. How do you change party members? No idea. You have two weeks (some tens of minutes of in-game time) to finish an area. It even implements a day/night cycle, which however has close to no effect to the game. If your party leader dies, he dies, and the turn to lead the group moves on to the next mutant until you've run out of your trap fodder. Those traps pop up everywhere, all the time; it depends on the level, too, I guess, but the point is that you have no way of knowing they are there. Or if you do, I didn't figure that out. Your mission in each of these levels is to find not one, but two members of the Freedom Force, and defeat them to proceed to the next area. After each of the three areas has been cleared, I'm guessing a fourth area unlocks and you will fight against the Adversary.

Of course he does.
Be warned that getting through one area is a bitch. As if the general overhead controls weren't bad enough do drive you out of your mind, there are those traps and dead ends everywhere. Even one screen might change if you exit and re-enter it. I'm not completely sure about what I'm about to say, but I wouldn't be surprised at all if the game occasionally hit a glitch and denied you an exit completely, like in the last roguelike game I've played, the abysmal Fatal Labyrinth on the Genesis. The beat 'em up-style combat might be more exciting than the turn- and card based that's offered as an option in the beginning, but it's definitely not good. First of all, the two different attacks you have at your disposal are assigned to keys as unpractical as Pg Up and Pg Dn. Simply walking around is hard enough, and it looks retarded as the character turns around by his will and that alone. I've not even come to the best part yet. You encounter an enemy, you beat him just like that, you're still stuck in the battle screen. The only way you're getting out of the battle screen is Esc, which translates to the game as "Flee". The game proclaims how you attempted to escape the battle - no, I was just trying to carry on this fool's errand!! The enemy you just beat is still there on the overhead map, and you will encounter him - or rather, his corpse - again and again, until you manage to somewhat slip away from him on the map. As you make your way forward - that is, if you're lucky - these same enemies will start appearing out of thin air, usually just in front of you or even on top of you. Every time, it's the same strange deal. No, it doesn't get any more entertaining than this.

What were the creators of this completely senseless game on? Why in the world didn't they just heed the good potential and the feedback they got from the first game? Why, why, why did they make this game? Well, it was an experience, I guess.

UPS
+ Nice collection of X-Men to choose from...

DOWNS
- ...Whose identities don't really make a stinking difference to how the game will play out
- Completely senseless, randomly generated levels with awkward, not to mention invisible enemy and trap placements
- Terrible controls and retarded gameplay "mechanics" from field to combat

< 2.2 >

REVIEW - X-Men | PC | 1989

GENRE(S): Action / Adventure / Puzzle
RELEASED: 1989
AVAILABLE ON: C64, PC
DEVELOPER(S): Paragon Software
PUBLISHER(S): Paragon Software

The first game I reviewed within the confines of this series of Marvel reviews was an old DOS game called The Amazing Spider-Man - by no means a great, revolutionary game, but surprisingly decent and moreover, a different game, more of a puzzle game than a straightforward action game or a run-of-the-mill platformer. It was made by Paragon Software - a closer look at the company reveals a whole series of Marvel games, of which the aforementioned game was actually the last, and also one of the last games before the company was bought out by MicroProse. Among those games was a pair of X-Men games, formally labelled X-Men and X-Men II, but better known as X-Men: Madness in Murderworld and X-Men: Fall of the Mutants, respectively. While the latter followed a comic book storyline, this first DOS game was an original story, one that Marvel endorsed to the point of including a limited edition comic book, serving as a prequel to the game's events, in the game package. Just like The Amazing Spider-Man, X-Men isn't from the most typical end of superhero games either, as it crosses point 'n' click with arcade action. Now I didn't rightly know what I was heading into here, but I knew it had to be better than what I just suffered through on the NES. I WANTED it to be better.

Love killercoaster

The X-Men's arch nemesis Magneto has joined forces with the evil genius Arcade, kidnapped Professor X and taken him to Arcade's backyard in the twisted theme park known as Murderworld. A team comprised of the X-Men's finest - Wolverine, Cyclops, Storm, Colossus, Nightcrawler, and Dazzler - bust through the gates to save their leader and mentor, to be greeted by a legion of Sentinels, other formidable enemies and brain-twisting puzzles requiring the skills of each and every one of them. (Keep that in mind, 'cause that is one of the game's greatest downfalls.)

Fresh off the worst game I've ever played - thus far - I bumped into a game commonly referred to as X-Men: Madness in Murderworld, a curious little DOS game from the late 80's, around the same time that beastly abomination commonly referred to as The Uncanny X-Men (why can't they have just ONE title?) was unleashed on the NES. Now these games have one huge difference: the NES game's got Marvel's brand name on it, but apparently it wasn't officially recognized by Marvel. This game, on the other hand, was not only recognized by Marvel, but they slapped a comic book exclusively available with the purchase of this game, on its side. These days, collector's editions of games are very common, and you can buy a lot of those - depending on the game - on eBay for a few bucks, still sealed and CiB. Those days, there were no collector's editions of anything, and rarely games that had something else for an extra incentive. Now I highly doubt you'll find a sealed copy of this game anywhere, but there are CiB's on eBay, and they sell for 20-40 bucks. Just a tip for all you true Marvelites out there, this one's a true collector's item. ...But is it any good? Now that's the true question. Marvel's efforts to promote the game already promise us a better game than that NES game with its circuits welded out of crap.

The first example of a simple, but cool puzzle.
The game is extremely tough to get to work properly on a modern PC. It seems that even if you use the same a/v and control settings every time, it doesn't guarantee proper functionality. A mouse apparently never worked with the game even though there's a constant need for one, and getting the joystick controls to properly respond to a basic joypad is a pain in the ass. So, the keyboard's pretty much the only choice here, I'm afraid. The space bar is the most useful key here, as it works as the confirmation button, as well as the tool to toggle through the different functions on the bottom of the screen. You'll have to try them all out to figure out what each one does, the icons are pretty vague. They're easy to learn. Just very painful to use. Literally. Carpals do not like this game. However, the toughest part ain't the adventuring and puzzle solving. That might even be fun, since you have to think a little about each mutant's special talent, and how they would help in certain situations. This brings forth another problem, but let's talk about the absolutely toughest part first.

Which is, non-surprisingly, combat. It's clumsy, actually hitting the enemies is random at best, and if you think duking it out with your everyday Sentinel is hard, try hitting rats. Yeah, this is one of those games in which any small vermin can kill you just as easily as a Sentinel or a boss. They're actually the easier enemies to fight, seriously. Hell, even spikes falling from the ceiling do less damage to you than a rat running back and forth at your feet does in half a second. It's absolutely ridiculous. If you ultimately fail at this game, don't feel too bad about yourself. I know exactly why you fail - the combat is just that poor. If it isn't the combat, it's something else. Here goes.

Wolverine looks like Wolverine, and he also
moves like Wolverine. It's Wolverine!
So like I said, when it comes to the puzzles, you need each and every mutant's talent. For example, in the very beginning of the game, there's an impenetrable adamantium cage with an important key in it. Now is there a member of the group who could get that key? Yes, there is: Nightcrawler. So I use his mutant power to get in and out of the cage with key in hand in a second. Wow, dude. This is how X-Men games should be made. At that point, even though my wrists were screaming murder (already), I knew this game had potential. Then, the dying began... when you run out of X-Men, the game is over. Even that's not the worst problem. You simply cannot make progress if a certain member of your group dies. If I had started out with Nightcrawler, and he would've succumbed in the hands of the first Sentinel, I wouldn't have made it past the second screen. There's a save system, sure, but saving the game after just one member of your group has died is a risk - a risk you absolutely have to take all the time if you want to have the slightest chance of beating this game. "Close, close, close... oh fuck, RATS!"

No, the game isn't very entertaining in the long run, but once again, I must commend it for its substantial difference from the stereotypical superhero game. It's got a good, if not brilliant concept, and with better design, it could've even been so much as revolutionary, especially in a time when licensed games on consoles very rarely gave us half of what we wanted. A badly designed and literally painful game, but an interesting one nonetheless. And yes, better than the NES game.

UPS
+ Authentic X-Men feel, and a good story
+ The puzzle/adventure part is a neat concept

DOWNS
- Poor execution of good ideas, all over - the worst being that you might blow your chances of beating the game by losing just one character
- Bad controls, terrible combat in particular

< 5.5 >

REVIEW - The Uncanny X-Men | NES | 1988

GENRE(S): Action
RELEASED: 1988
AVAILABLE ON: NES
DEVELOPER(S): -
PUBLISHER(S): LJN

Here's a franchise name which many of you might've been looking forward to since I started this marathon... although the games necessarily are not. Created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby in 1963, the X-Men are the most famous, consistent and popular out of Marvel's three big superhero groups. Although much of their success has depended on one particular character in the group - who has also been the lead star in most serials, movies and games revolving around the group, and had a few of his very own serials, movies and games to boot - the X-Men have also been so persistently popular due to them being outcasts, constantly shunned by society for being different, and still doing everything they can to protect it. 1988 brought us the first X-Men video game - a co-op, top-down, destroy-all action game before the time of Smash T.V.. Sounds quite innovative. Then again, it was published by LJN - and made by an independent developer who didn't want his name associated with the final product. Promising, wouldn't you say? You don't know the half of it. The Uncanny X-Men, Marvel's X-Men, just X-Men, whatever you want to call it, is not just a bad game. It's an all-out failure. A sad, miserable failure.

Mom, someone vomited on my monitor

Magneto's on a rampage, and it's up to six of the X-Men - Cyclops, Storm, Iceman, Colossus, Nightcrawler, and of course, Wolverine - to put an end to his and his henchmen's terrible plot... whichever that may be.

If Fallout was done in the 80's... it would've
looked a hell of a lot better than this.
Three years, five months - I've seen a lot of shit, you've seen a lot of shit. I've written a lot of shit, you've read a lot of shit. From Attack of the Killer Tomatoes to Donkey Kong Jr. Math to Home Alone to my ever-favourite scapegoat (or scapecat?) Bubsy - even if the first game's no longer on the Bottom 40. Make that notion and I'll re-review the game. I dare you. Last September, I was at somewhat of a loss, even though the cause was basically pleasant - Top 60 got a new king. Now I'm at a loss, and the cause definitely ain't pleasant - Bottom 40 gets a new king. My word, this game is horrible. And I'll tell you why. I'll tell you a whole bulk of why. In just a moment.

I must admit I didn't know a lot about the X-Men before seeing the first movie. I just knew Wolverine, and Hugh Jackman's brilliant performance which already captivated me when the trailers popped out was the definite highlight of the movie - but the movie presented me with a whole bulk of other characters who were legend in this franchise, but I hadn't really paid attention to them. Suddenly I was fascinated by the unique overall theme of the comic book I had never really noticed before. The X-Men's potential was endless. Sadly that potential went to waste in the rest of the movie series - although First Class was quite good, even (nearly) without Wolverine. I tried watching the animated series they made in the early 90's, but I found it somewhat boring and perhaps, I don't know, too "cheery", for its own good. The comic books were good, but I needed something a bit more fleshed out. So I turned to the games. I must admit that in time, I did find a couple of decent ones, but most X-Men games I ever played were once again good potential gone to waste, carried by the strength of an always solid lead character in Wolverine. Then I got familiar with the first X-Men game ever made - and it doesn't even have good potential on its side. It's horrible from the very first moment you SLAP IT IN. Caps on purpose. Stick around for the purpose.

I was just telling my girl - who's really not that interested in such details but she's overjoyed whenever I'm really enthusiastic about something - how Super Mario Bros. 3, one of the few games she likes and knows by name, was such a phenomenal game in its time, how it squeezed every ounce of strength out of the NES in 1988, sacrificing nothing but a save system to make an everlasting impression of being at the very least five years ahead of its time. What does that have to do with this game, you ask? X-Men was also released in 1988, or 1989, depending on which source of information you choose to believe, but regardless, at the same time as Super Mario Bros. 3 or after it. And they couldn't have done ANY better?! The game looks like a fucking dumpster fire, and the pain this horrible music causes to your ears makes going to get your gums scraped sound like a brilliant random way to spend your day.

AAaaaaAAGHHH, my eyes!!! And no, that
ain't TMNT's Bebop in a vibrant palette of
cum, shit and piss. That's Storm. Yeah.
Audiovisual properties aside - how can I set them aside, just look at those shots?! - the game is still one awful mess. OK, so first you choose a mutant. That's not enough, though, you have to choose two of them. That's right, even if you're going at it alone, you'll have to suffer another character with less than functional A.I.. There are five different levels for you to choose from. Now I have no fucking clue how to beat the level labelled "Practice", nor do I have any desire to go out of my way to find out, but apparently it is a real level, with a boss. To me, it's just waves upon waves of enemies, with the most annoying tune in the whole game playing in the background and giving me the headache of a century, and having total invincibility. OK, so how do I get out of this mess? Resetting - no other choice. Well, let's do that. On to the real thing. Maybe it's better than this. Or maybe I should just stop now.

My choices for Player 1 and Retarded Asshole are Wolverine and Cyclops, and the level, well, let's take the first one. For his very first stunt, Cyclops runs straight into an obstacle and dies. Well, how quaint! After figuring I do not have to use Wolverine's very short-ranged, not to mention weird melee attack at all, or any other attack at that, to make progress, I find myself just running through the level, past the enemies. That's not as easy as it might first seem, either. The enemies spawn endlessly, and they're very likely to horde up and trap you in a corner, where your only escape is to step on spikes and die instantly. Actually, you don't even have to think that much, because the game doesn't make dangerous obstacles too clear for you. Bump into a wall and you might die. No health bar, nothing of the sort - so it's pretty much up to the game to decide when it's time to go. Use too much special attacks - which aren't needed - and you die. Dying has been more entertaining. And it has been explained a whole lot better.

Well, after both your characters are dead, you move on to the next pair of your choice - so basically, you have three lives to survive this nauseating chaos. I move on to Iceman and Colossus. At least Iceman doesn't run straight to his death like Cyclops did - he just disappears, after I go down a flight of stairs into another screen. Vanishes, into thin air. Nothing surprises me anymore... I said nothing, so it's not a big surprise that after I go back up, I'm pushed by a couple of whatever-those-black-boobs are, against a wall, and die. Last up, Nightcrawler and Storm. This is a good time to mention the power-ups. Admittedly, I would have no idea what they're supposed to do without outside help. Invincibility is at least presented more than a bit vaguely in practice. So is the "S" icon which is at least supposed to stop time. Health-restoring power-ups? Didn't I just say there's nothing even remotely reminiscent of a health bar?! The one I wanted to tell you about is the magnet, which renders your character immobile for a short time. Now I know this is supposed to reflect on the main villain here, but how come is every character regardless whether they have an ounce of metal in their bodies or not, rendered immobile by that shit? How come it shows up every two seconds to make your life hell amidst regular power-ups? You simply don't have time to take your pick between power-ups. Oh well, let's not question logic here. Let's just play this stupid game. Oh, look, Nightcrawler isn't affected by the magnet in any way. ...WHAT?!

Now this literally, seriously looks like a level in
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. Then again,
every shitty NES game has that green
subterranean level.
Soon, I realize that I can actually switch between my two characters at any time. That helps a little to keep the A.I. from killing itself two seconds into the game, but only postpones the inevitable. After a couple of similar scenarios, I'm giving in. But, let's suppose I'm not. The game is still firmly SLAPPED IN the NES. I beat all the levels, including the Practice level which I still can't make heads or tails of in reality, and get ready to face Magneto. All that pain and suffering can't be for nothing. But, nothing's happening. You're still in the level select screen. Well, hope you paid attention after each level, 'cause the end of each level gave you a bit of cryptic code. Try that out. Nothing? Well... shut down the console, take the cartridge out, and check the missing piece of the code from the label. It's there with the legal stuff, at the bottom - the bottom which you won't be able to see without taking the cartridge out if you're playing on a standard NES. Put the cartridge back in, put the power back on, and do it all over again, you X-Men fan you. No? Well, return to the part when you shut down the console and took the cartridge out. Take your shotgun, go to the nearest junkyard, flip the cartridge into the air and blow it to kingdom come. Go home, and play something else. Like Super Mario Bros. 3.

This game is so thoroughly bad and horribly designed, that even if I wanted the most definitive NES collection out of any man or woman alive, I wouldn't stink up my shelf with this piece of absolute shit. LJN outdid themselves here, truly - and after many years of joking about them, always giving them that small benefit of a doubt behind all those prejudiced puns, I must say they've truly deserved their reputation as the shittiest video game publisher ever. It can't get any worse than this. X-Men at the very least can't get any worse than this.

UPS
+ Please, no

DOWNS
- The whole code thing mandatory to access the final level is definitely the most ridiculous "interactive" stunt I've ever heard of
- The rest, you can read above - there's simply nothing right with this game; even Wolverine's a crappy character to use

< 1.0 >

REVIEW - The Incredible Hulk | DS | 2008

GENRE(S): Action
RELEASED: June 5, 2008
AVAILABLE ON: DS
DEVELOPER(S): Amaze Entertainment
PUBLISHER(S): Sega

Aaaarrrrghhhh!!! Roaarrrrrr!!! Hulk SMASH!!! There's just no mature way to start a Hulk review. Or if there ever was, I lost all motivation to present one when I did the last couple of Hulk games. Hulk has never been one of my personal favourite characters in Marvel Comics, nor has he been the favourite of game developers or gamers alike... yet when you think about it, how hard would it be to make an entertaining game out of a character that's just pure ANGER and smashes everything he sees to bits?! Well, apparently it's always been trickier than expected. The last two games I reviewed were The Incredible Hulk for 16-bits, released in 1994 - that game was surprisingly decent - and The Incredible Hulk for the Game Boy Advance, released in 2003, very loosely based on (read: riding the coattails of) the first Hulk movie of this generation, and it was outright awful. Here we have one more game simply called The Incredible Hulk, released on the DS in 2008, based on a major platform game loosely based on (yep) the second movie starring the one and only Edward Norton. ...What are you expecting me to say? Okay - it's not good. Not good at all.

Angry, reckless green block of a man

Scientist Bruce Banner is on the run from the U.S. military, attempting to find a cure for a nasty condition caused by a supersoldier experiment. Whenever Bruce's blood pressure rises above 200, he becomes a violent, unreasonable, extremely aggressive and unpleasant giant the military gives the name "Hulk". To add to Bruce's problems, a Royal Marine named Emil Blonsky is outright fascinated with the experiment and wants it done on himself, resulting in the birth of the Abomination.

You know how I usually start these reviews, talking about myself and my personal views on stuff related to the game, rather than the game itself. The thing is I already said all there is to say back up there, and also the previous Hulk reviews I did some months back. In a nutshell, the Hulk isn't my favourite subject when it comes to Marvel - I have always considered him very one-dimensional. But, he's a very popular character, and kind of a must to note in a marathon like this. To throw a carrot into the mix, here I'm reviewing a game based on a movie starring Edward Norton as the Hulk. ...Yuck, the carrot's rotten.

Probably the coolest move you can
do, make Hulk dash through the air
and smash everything in the way.
Lousy traction back on the ground,
though.
And, in a total off-topic paragraph to fabricate a little more length for this predictable bomb, I just tried what it would be like to write these reviews in my own language. Good games - no problem. Bad games - there ain't no good Finnish words to describe games like The Incredible Hulk... joten olen pahoillani, tätä paskaa on saatavilla jatkossakin vain englanniksi.

The only shock here is how the game is so superficially similar to Captain America: Super Soldier which I did a month back. Only, it's much worse. True, I've never liked Hulk, but I never expected him to sink beneath the Cap. This is a much simpler game - you just smash stuff and kick ass. There ain't really nothing horribly wrong with the controls this time around, just the level and enemy design is horribly generic. The enemies behave like in an 80's NES game - or worse, 90's The Terminator. They just stand there and shoot straight forward, they have zero A.I., and if you happen to move an inch into the next screen before taking out an enemy in the current one, you're going to have the next screen's enemy's bullets to dodge too, which usually results in an utterly unavoidable hail of bullets. It's do or die. Or rather, do AND die. The Hulk really ain't as invincible as his fancy smash, dash and vault abilities make believe.

The DS layout, on the other hand, is very similar to another game I did a while back, the absolutely abysmal Rise of the Silver Surfer - although the game itself looks "nicer" and even features a bit of voice acting, the DS scheme is once again rendered completely useless. This could as easily be just as crappy, but - from the developers and financers' point of view - a little less time and effort-consuming Game Boy Advance game.

Even though I believe that I'd find more playable games if I pushed on just a little further, I think that for the sake of variety and sanity, I should put the rest of these handheld games on hold for a while. It disrupts the order of things a little bit, but if I play one more game like this in the immediate future, I will risk disrupting my blood flow. There really ain't much more to say. This incarnation of the title The Incredible Hulk is not as incredibly bad as the Game Boy Advance game of the same name, but almost. I'm beginning to hold the old 16-bit game in much higher regard.

UPS
+ Edward Norton's voice
+ The controls are decent - that's good enough in these circles

DOWNS
- Way more than obsolete enemy A.I.
- Generic level design
- Boring gameplay
- The DS' possibilities are ignored

< 4.5 >

REVIEW - A Realm Reborn - Final Fantasy XIV | PS3 | 2013

GENRE(S): RPG / MMO
RELEASED: August 27, 2013
AVAILABLE ON: PC, PS3, PS4
DEVELOPER(S): Square Enix
PUBLISHER(S): Square Enix

With the release of Final Fantasy XIV in 2010, Square Enix attempted to relaunch Final Fantasy as a massively multiplayer online game for the first time since the success of Final Fantasy XI - failing miserably. What critics called a "shallow, broken, incomplete" game very nearly destroyed Square Enix, and very nearly brought an end to their flagship franchise of 23 years, which had already been in a rapid critical and commercial decline for some time. In late 2012, a beta testing cycle for a wholly redesigned Final Fantasy XIV began, and as Square Enix described it, this game was to be their "last chance", which kind of reflected on the series' humble beginnings back in 1987. The original Final Fantasy XIV storyline was concluded with an in-game extinction event that disabled all player services - and A Realm Reborn picked up from where the "previous game" was killed off, serving as a complete remake and a direct sequel at the same time, faring quite well and, according to many critics, delivering the most immersive and real Final Fantasy experience in years. ...And now, a lifelong MMO-naysayer, but also a lifelong Final Fantasy fan whose heart was torn to shreds by the previous main series game and all related to it, and is therefore very torn about this new generation of Final Fantasy games as it is, even without the MMO part, is here to spill his personal can of beans. Is A Realm Reborn - Final Fantasy XIV any good? I gave myself a month of free trial to figure that out, and here are the results.

O, what a world

Five years after the "Calamity" - in technical terms, the "end of the world" which effectively killed off the previous game - the Adventurer (that's you), having granted passage through time to avoid the devastation, returns to the land of Eorzea with no memory of his past deeds, just the urge to explore, accomplish, help the people rebuild their once flourishing continent and finally, defend them from a full-blown invasion from the north.

Let's get one thing straight: I believe... no, I KNOW what you're about to read is not my best review ever, but I rather hope it to be a good analysis. I'm not into MMO. Even if I played this game for 500 hours, I'm sure I wouldn't know everything about it, nor would I even WANT to know everything about it. It all starts with my reaction towards multiplayer games in general - it has been the same negative perception for 26 years. In recent years, I have started to play a lot of 2-player games, both versus and co-op, but it's just been the two of us, me and a really good friend who pretty much shares the same skills and train of thought as I. Online co-op with a stranger? Has worked for me only ONCE. The other times, the player's style has been so different from mine that the game's gone to hell, for whatever reason. More than two players? There's always the asshole who wants shit done his own way. If shit isn't done his shitty way, he gets mad and starts sabotaging the game. OK, perhaps you've played with nice people. Perhaps you have better ways to communicate, and perhaps you're better accustomed to it - I find typing messages or actually speaking to the other players, moreso listening to them speak, very distracting. Especially if they speak in other languages. Perhaps you love multiplayer games and wonder what the fuck I'm ranting about here. Do I have a point here? Maybe.

About seven years ago, my neighbor and good friend passed me a free trial of World of Warcraft, knowing very well I had no time to waste on MMO games, and that I was not much of a PC gamer. He, however, wanted me to have an idea of what World of Warcraft was about, and why people were so constantly excited with the game. And, perhaps he wanted me to have an idea of what social gaming was at its best. I kinda liked it, it changed some of my views on MMO. I thought that if you couldn't socialize with people, or if you weren't blessed with serious skills right from the game's start - meaning both you as a gamer, and your avatar - you would have no business in the fabled lands of WoW. I had no idea that you could prance along all by yourself, all you wanted. I didn't even know that the game actually had a story. Or pre-developed quests. I thought MMO's were all about user-generated "content". Random raids and stuff. Well, I played the game for a day, sharp. I had ten days, but my then-girlfriend hated the idea of me sitting in our bedroom for ten straight days playing some stupid, lifeless game. (Let it be known that she couldn't understand what was so wrong about Bubsy games.) It wasn't just because of her, though. Although I enjoyed my brief time with World of Warcraft, I ultimately came to the conclusion that it was not my thing. I know that by being able to socialize with people, maybe even form my own group, I would find the game that absolutely everyone's playing, talking about and willing to pay for, every single month. More than this neat little back-and-forth run of an RPG with generic errands and quests waiting to be undertaken around every corner. But, it's just not me. I'm not that kind of gamer. I like stories, I like my own (s)pace, I like outdoing myself instead of desperately trying to outdo a million other souls on the planet.

Humble beginnings in the city-state of Ul'dah.
Promised land for us gladiators.
So, even if it was for just a day, World of Warcraft remained my deepest touch into the ever-growing nether realm of MMO for these past seven years. As far back as 11 years ago, my favourite video game franchise in the world produced me its first in a long line of severe disappointments. Final Fantasy XI came out, only on the PC in this part of the world (at launch). If it was simply called Final Fantasy Online, it would've been OK, but when you make a main series entry, you're supposed to remember or take care of a few things. 1. make the game available to those people who fell in love with the previous main series entries, in other words console players. What's the point, really, of releasing an almost exclusive main series entry for a platform that may have had its share of Final Fantasies, but is not famous for them? 2. these games are known for immersive single-player stories. 3. for the love of God, just call the game Final Fantasy Online. Save the numbers for games that deserve them. I have surely noted the great and long success of Final Fantasy XI, and I'm sure it's going to turn out fun if I ever get around to playing it (bloody confusing registration, I tell you), but some opinions never change. Final Fantasy [insert number here] is a story-driven single-player game. Period. If the number is replaced with something else, you can do whatever the hell you want. Tactics, Fables, Legend, Online, Chronicles, all the same to me. But do NOT give it a number. ...And here I am, ready to plunge into a realm reborn. And these old pet peeves come over me like a tidal wave right off the bat. But from the middle, I can spot and fish out a perfectly good game... with surprisingly cool players.

The storyline is thin as air. Once again, storyline is not the main focus point of an MMO, but the storyline should be the main focus point of any Final Fantasy game graced with a number. The story characters are shoddy, cliched and unmemorable stock material, and even your own player avatar is not quite as customizable in terms of looks and behaviour as I expected in this day and age. The storyline is also very heavy to follow, due to the very limited voiceover track, lengthy text dialogue, and simply the wide open nature of the gameplay, which almost inevitably steers you off the story for several hours at a time. You must do those side missions in the between - you won't level up in this game for too long at all by just fighting enemies. What's great is that the game constantly tells you outright if you're capable of doing shit or not - most enemies do not attack you on sight, and their level is clearly indicated by a number on top of their heads. Access to any mission in the game, be it a story mission or side mission, with or without other players, is restricted until your experience level and skills meet specific requirements (and if your level's too high, it's lowered for the duration of the mission). Finally, FATEs (Full Active Time Events), big, dynamic battles that any player that happens to be in a designated area can join, are also marked with a warning when needed. If your level's too low for a certain FATE, you can still join, but you won't get as much spoils for the victory (which is probably a fluke anyway, as far as you're concerned) as those players with the proper set-ups. If it's too high, you're forced to sync it lower for the duration of the battle so you won't get any unfair advantage over the enemies or the other players.

The original Final Fantasy XIV was scheduled to be released on the PlayStation 3, but since the game was such a tremendous failure on the PC, Square Enix scrapped the plans and came up with the concept of a total remake around the same time. A Realm Reborn is one of the first MMO games on a console, and it is also the first to work cross-platform; in other words, PS3 players can play it with PC players and vice versa. The UI's are a little different, but very similar so that every player would have the same options available, which means that it might damn well look like one of the most confusing PS3 games ever. But, I can also tell you it looks much more complex than it actually is. If you had a mouse and keyboard by default, the game would be a piece of cake to learn. Using a controller, you need to toggle through each and every option on the screen with Select, in real time - MMO knows no pause, as I'm sure you're aware. This means the news feed and chat, mission objectives which you need to check every once in a while 'cause it's very easy to get lost, and the minimap, and every menu window that might be open. Instead of simply clicking on stuff, you have to keep pressing Select and go through a linear cycle of options. What's most frustrating is the tutorial system - you can't live without it, and it WILL - not might, WILL - even interrupt a boss fight with a huge tutorial window that pops up right in the middle of the screen, obscuring the battle. Since there's no chance for a pause, you once again need to keep pressing Select 'til you hit the window, confirm the tutorial out of the way so you could get on with the fight, and no, there ain't no time to read it. Maybe you can spot a few key words that'll help you figure out the tutorial's subject and instructions yourself after the battle is over. In my personal experience you'll learn better by actually doing shit than reading shit, anyway.

Well, as soon as you get into your first battle, you will see that the game mechanics have their bright sides if you're using a controller. However, the targeting system is shit throughout the line, 'cause for example, very often when you're on a quest, you need to examine something in the field, and during your investigation, you're attacked by an enemy. You're able to target the enemy once, and land in one hit, but then, your character just stops attacking and whenever you try to pull off a special move, the combat log says "Invalid target"?! Well, that's because your hard target is still on the spot you were examining before you got attacked. You need to remember to cancel that target, and then target the enemy again to move the hard target. Sounds really confusing and enigmatic, and even more painful than it actually is (just hellishly frustrating), but I'm sure you'll see what I mean if you're playing with a PS3 controller. If you haven't figured it out by now, you'll get the most out of this game with a mouse/keyboard set, regardless of the platform you're playing this game on, and despite the neatly organized and easily customizable Hotbar "speed dial" that makes playing with a controller a little easier and comfier. In a nutshell, the game sometimes feels like a PC emulator game played on a PlayStation 3. The tables have turned.

Chocobos? Well, of course there are chocobos.
Let's go back to the beginning again... registration to play Final Fantasy XI was a painful experience for me. So painful, that I ultimately stopped trying, about five euros vanished into thin air later - which was more than I paid for the actual copy of the game, by the way. I paid and paid and paid for just the creation of one single character; according to the external manager everything was in order for me to launch the game and create a character, and still the game launcher itself kept exclaiming "No payment found." I booted the manager, it also had changed its mind about payment, but my bank account revealed the truth. So fuck you. With Final Fantasy XIV, registration is very easy. If you have a 30-day free trial - which comes with every new copy of the game - you don't need to do more than come up with a Square Enix ID and password, confirm the registration by e-mail, and you're all set. Detailed instructions on what to do after the trial expires are easy to find from the boot menu. The 30-day free trial is very generous, 'cause if you're a serious gamer, those 30 days are just enough for you to finish the main scenario and get familiar with the ins and outs of the actual MMO scenario. If you put the trial to good use, you will most definitely know whether you want to keep paying for the game or not - that's why I waited 'til vacation time. Ten days with this game simply wouldn't be enough, and if I had ten days straight, plus perhaps a measly level cap like 20, to try this game out, I honestly don't know whether I'd put more money in it than I already have - 'cause I wouldn't know anything truly substantial about it. This is a full-blooded trial; you are treated equal to the whole community, you have full access to every single feature in the game for 30 days straight, starting with the registration date. There ain't no sign above your head that says "hey guys, I'm a free trial n00b". All contrary to my perception of the World of Warcraft trial back in the day.

Eorzea is a huge world, and you can explore it just as you wish from the very beginning - like I said, most enemies won't attack you before you attack them. Aggressive enemies, ones that do attack you on sight, are clearly marked with a red triangle next to their name and level. If you still don't feel at ease in the middle of the battlefield, and really want to make coffee or need to take a piss, sanctuary settlements are all over the map for you to settle in for an idle moment or two. You don't need to worry about other players pissing in your boots, either - the main game is a friendly one, PvP is a separate feature. In turn, you can form parties. Raids and special side missions called Guildhests even require parties to be formed, but if you like, you can leave it up to a server bot designed for this purpose to determine your party, you don't need to send any "plz" messages on the chat, just initiate a raid or Guildhest and do something else for a few minutes while the computer looks for other players on that same task. You always eventually hit pay dirt. If and when mission-specific requirements are met and the party is successfully formed, you are prompted to take on the tasks immediately, and returned to your original spot after you're done with 'em, tons of experience points, money, and other spoils richer. Neat. Of course, taking part in storyline events, FATEs and other events which feature a time limit and therefore take you away from the real-time scenario during the search, cancels your admittance to a social task.

An untimely case of death on a regular field trip - or a FATE - now, that's an interesting one, and actually, the first time I said to myself: hey, I might appreciate playing with other people. Depends on the game, too, I guess. On my first day of playing, I was on some really easy, generic errand when I was suddenly pulled into a FATE that I really was not prepared for at that moment, and I died for the first time during the whole game. A couple of tutorials about dying popped up, and as I was reading those, a girl avatar showed up next to my dead body. She just stood there. Then, the game prompted me to return to my home point, which was currently miles away. Somehow, my instinct told me to just lie still, and this girl resurrected me without asking for anything in return before continuing her journey. Which means, I got a second chance without any annoying penalties for my sudden and unexpected KO. I checked out the girl's info in the user search and it turned out she was something like level 48, which means she has been playing for quite some while. The n00b offers his sincere thanks. These people are a lot nicer than the ones I met playing World of Warcraft. It shows in the free company chat, too, and to think that I was recruited to a free company just by (semi-accidentally) trying out a salute emote on a random dude I met on a desert. The chat shows exactly how weird some gamers are, but the ones I've conversed with are a nice bunch nevertheless.

Your starting class determines your starting city-state from three different options: Ul'dah, Gridania and Limsa Lominsa. After about 20-30 storyline quests unique to these city-states, you gain access to an airship - of course you do - which you can then use to travel between the three different city-states; the rest of the 150+ storyline quests are the same for everyone.

There are tons of methods to take on this madness. First of all, you have five races to choose from, and each of those five races is divided into two different clans. The difference in the latter is not that great, it somewhat affects your physical features and traits. There's a total of 19 classes, divided into four different disciplines. Disciples of War are obviously best suited for physical altercations. Disciples of Magic - that's self-explanatory, and probably what most fantasy geeks will start as. Disciples of the Hand work towards becoming master craftsmen in eight different categories, and finally, Disciples of the Land are a jolly bunch of guys who choose hard, old-fashioned work over adventuring or nerdy tinkering: farming, fishing and mining. Each class most essentially levels up by simply practicing their profession, not necessarily taking part in rigorous combat at all. Each class also has specific restrictions when it comes to equipment. If you decide to become a Fisherman and remain one, you're stuck with a fishing rod for a weapon. That's just how it is. I'm sorry.

Just yesterday, I was chatting - really hard with a controller, by the way - with a fellow free company member who wanted to get to a certain level as a Gladiator so he could fill his "lifelong dream" of becoming a Fisherman. That's exactly how it works; even if you start as something as exotic as a Botanist just for the fun of it and regret it later, you don't have to be one forever. After you've cleared a certain quest of a certain level in your starting class, you can go out looking for someone to teach you something new, and from that point on, you can become as much of anything you like. Let's take me, for example. I started out as a Gladiator (Warrior), as I nearly always do. I'm simply into physical contact over magic, 100%, and I also love to fight. But, Skyrim taught me the joys of smithing shit, so I wanted to become a Blacksmith. As it turned out, one didn't simply become a Blacksmith 'cause I started from the wrong geographical spot. I didn't feel like speeding through the game to get to the outer reaches of the world just yet just to become a Blacksmith, so I decided to check out the local jobs at my hub. "Goldsmith" sounded good enough. Actually pretty damn cool. Much cooler than it is, but that's not the point right now.

So, my level goes back to 1... my Goldsmith level. My Gladiator's still at level 15. From this point on, I can switch between the two classes any time I wish, and equip them both with different gear. My Goldsmith's a peaceful fellow - for now - so I equip him with ridiculously coloured street clothes, and save the gear set, as well as my Gladiator's heavy armour set. Now, with one press of a button, I can switch between the level 15 angel of death and the level 1 happy little necklace tinkerer any time I wish. If I get tired with my patrol duties, I can relax by whipping up some fancy jewelry for a few hours, to get money for both of my classes and experience points for my lil' Midas. Although goldsmithing might not have been my thing after all, this is a very cool system you can utilize any way you see fit. And, crafting items itself is way more extravagant than in, say, Skyrim; in that game, you just needed proper experience to whip up items in an automatic jiffy. In this game, you actually have to interact with the materials to come up with decent product, and pay attention to the materials' artificial quality. THAT'S pretty cool. But, of course it can also be really frustrating at times, especially on those lonely nights you can't come up with anything else to do than play the game, and you're drunk out of your socks. ...What?

There's a story too. Just not a very interesting
one.
When you get over the massive and dare I say, largely needless and only artificial, complexity of just about every element of the game, and spend a few days with it to unlock its advanced features and familiarize yourself with them one step at a time, I think you're in for such a smooth and comfy time-killer that you wouldn't have a stinking clue of Earth time if a clock wasn't conveniently pinned to the HUD. "Escape reality, live the fantasy", indeed. It's a game literally littered with things to do - not all of them are fun pastimes, and if you're the most antisocial person in the world, meaning that you can't only talk to other people, you can't even work with them (once again, you don't have to actually socialize to form temporary parties), you might completely ignore a few features. I essentially bought and started to play this game because I'm a Final Fantasy collector, and moreover, still a fan after all the disappointments - as a fan, I'm definitely not satisfied, but I'm positively surprised as such a long-time MMO-hater... and yeah, when it comes down to it, and you stop thinking about the lousy core quality of the story and characters too much, this game LOOKS much closer to Final Fantasy than the whole XIII saga. The underlying themes, the world, the gameplay mechanics, the music. Especially the music; Masayoshi Soken pulls off some mighty good Uematsu impressions here. No electronica or cock-pussy snap-crackle-pop here - this is authentic Final Fantasy scoring, right here, some of the best we've had since the maestro left the building. Not to take anything away from the group who worked on Final Fantasy XII, but once again, we're talking about the efforts of one guy. That counts.

Have I got a whole bulk of terrible news for Trophy whores who bought this game just to plat it in 30 days. First of all, the registration code works for used copies, but the free trial that comes with it is a one-time deal. The retail copy of the game goes for half the price of a standard PS3 game as it is. In other words, I can't imagine the game having a whole lot of trade-in value. Then, the actual Trophy list is a bitch. It requires at the very least several months of work even from someone who doesn't have a life to abandon with the game, true MMO dedication. You need to work up every single class in the game, reach a high level with each and every one of them; clear 100 (that's one hundred) raids and Guildhests, 1,000 (that's one THOUSAND) of every other type of side mission and guild-specific task, and finally, slay 10,000 (that's TEN THOUSAND) enemies to reach the coveted Platinum Trophy, on top of everything else. 2013 - the end of an era. The age of whoring was officially over.

Since the game is nearly impossible to review thoroughly, just as any game of its type, this was indeed more of an analysis than a review. Still, I guess I have to come up with a rating. Which is also nearly impossible to nail down. Let's look at this way: A Realm Reborn might not be a good Final Fantasy game. However, it is of better quality than Final Fantasy XIII and its first sequel in terms of... well, just about everything; thus, indeed a rebirth in many ways. Even though it's not a proper Final Fantasy experience in itself, it includes many delicious easter eggs for a long-time fan, and returned my hope for at least some level of redemption when the next true main series entry comes out - and by true, I mean Final Fantasy XV, not Lightning Returns, just to be clear. Hell, enough with this yes/no shit - it's an entertaining game as far as you are willing to take it.

That was the end of the review part, here's the end to my analysis. What's my current view of MMO? At least now there's one MMO which I might consider paying a monthly fee for - that, in itself, is a lot said when it's me who says it. I'm not nearly over the phase of consideration yet, since while I've enjoyed my time with this game and I'm more than ready to recommend it to people who are into these types of games, I must say that in a lot of ways, A Realm Reborn solidifies my suspicions of MMO's not being and never becoming my thing, considering my age and the state my life is in. A phone call from your girlfriend (who you haven't seen in days), which you can't answer because you're in the middle of a raid and can't let your team down just to let the most important person in your life to know you're still kicking, is all it takes to reveal the truth.

UPS
+ Easy registration and further accessibility, relatively generous trial period
+ Great music that mirrors the work of the maestro himself at its best
+ All the classes are available to one single character, that's one single character fee - enough said
+ An enormous world with tons of things to do...
+ ...If you're up to it, you can keep on redoing those tons of things with the surprisingly enormous community...
+ ...And don't forget that there's new stuff pouring in all the time, in real time
+ Bright sides to the game mechanics for any tool of your choice...

DOWNS
- ...But severe problems eventually rear head with a controller, since...
- ...The PS3 version generally looks and feels like a PC game in the wrong environment; the chat log, the world map, the thousand other different windows and their sub-windows, the targeting system and all advanced options you might think of are impossible to manage properly in real time without a mouse and keyboard. You know what you're doing, but it's still hard to do it. This game makes the console version of Dragon Age: Origins feel easy to manage. Ten(s) fold. Luckily you can plug in a mouse and keyboard, and access exclusive features such as taking screenshots. I have misplaced my USB keyboard, which is why these few screenshots suck; not all of them are even from the PS3 retail.
- A crappy storyline with equally crappy characters; the game has very little to live up to the usual expectations towards a main series installment in the Final Fantasy franchise, but that's utterly expected. They should've called this game something else to begin with.
- MMO is simply not for everyone, and even while the game might make believe you can play it your own way and at your very own pace - ALL the way - in time you will have to face this subgenre's usual problems. Even MMO fans are aware of them, so you be the judge of your own personal problems with it; they're most likely discovered here as well.

< 8.0 >

A slight reflection of the good old times!

Just thought to give you a little warning or heads-up here. I've been writing the first review of the year for a whole week, and it's finally done - but what's better is that the same time, I've managed to finish a total of four additional drafts. This means there's a total of FIVE reviews coming later tonight. Fekkin' cool! This is like in the earliest days of the blog. Just writing and playing and writing and playing, and not even complaining. :) Just have to google some good screenshots for the first one, can't take 'em myself which is a mega-bummer.

torstai 2. tammikuuta 2014

Happy New Year!

As far as I'm concerned, this little "Christmas vacation" is over. 2014 has been here for a couple of days already and that means the fourth full year of this blog has started. Just yesterday, I took a gander at the amazing amount of games I've reviewed since the summer of 2010, and once again realized I'm not even close to reviewing every single game I always or never wanted to review. So let's get cracking; let's make 2014 a good one.

These last couple of years have been kinda slow and silent. Many good ideas have gone to waste due to my lack of motivation - which, I once again assure you, is only due to the amazing amount of civic and social duties I have on my hands. When it comes down to actually playing or writing about games within the very little time I have to spare, actually playing them easily takes the win. But, after two full years of trying to find the proper balance to be able to maintain this blog as it was originally intended, and more importantly, stick to my long-term plans (currently, the Marvel marathon), I think I'm beginning to get it. Here's to hoping it eventually shows.

I got only one game for Christmas, a very cheap and easy choice (an Xbox LIVE Arcade compilation), but it's only because people know damn well I take good care of that part myself. I bought nearly 20, if not precisely 20, games in December. One of them hasn't even arrived yet, which is quite strange, 'cause I bought it from a Finnish auction site three weeks ago, and the guy who sold the game gave me (very simple) feedback on the same day I handled the payment, and still, the game isn't here.

Final Fantasy III is. A completely new, custom-made game, ordered all the way from Ohio, USA, arrives on New Year's Eve, although it's scheduled to arrive somewhere in the middle of February. Amazing. You know what's even more amazing? It WORKS. And it looks incredible. Here, let me show you. (Sorry for the soddy picture quality, my phone's camera has some weird issues.)

One of the best-spent 60 € ever.
Let's go over this one more time: Final Fantasy III was released in Japan on April 27th, 1990. Due to the decline of the NES and the fact that Square was already working on Final Fantasy IV for the SNES, Final Fantasy III was NEVER released outside Japan. The original Final Fantasy II was never released outside Japan either, but it eventually became the subject of faithful re-releases, starting with serving as the second half of the PlayStation release Final Fantasy Origins. The very first international release of Final Fantasy III was a 3D remake for the Nintendo DS, released in 2006, and every subsequent re-release has more or less been based on that enhanced version of the game, including the Windows Phone version which was released just a few days ago. Experts often cite Final Fantasy III as one of the most tide-turning games in the Final Fantasy franchise, and the whole J-RPG genre, but to this day, the original Famicom version remains in total obscurity from the masses.

This reproduced cartridge of a fully translated game goes for $80 (about 60 €) on Timewalk Games, an independent group of developers, who literally make these games out of scratch, and deliver them ultra-quickly, much faster than they modestly tell you. Even the paint on the cartridge has not properly dried yet! The game works on the first try. The English translation of at least this game seems picture perfect, and every bit of physical material attached is of great, 95% authentic quality. I definitely recommend Timewalk Games! This copy of Final Fantasy III might not be an official product, but it sure looks like one, and with its arrival I consider my Final Fantasy main series collection complete. Here it is:

Plus the "bonus material" I've attained thus far.
So, for all you nitpickers out there: if the sequels to Final Fantasy X and Final Fantasy XIII count as "main series games", so should Dirge of Cerberus which is there as "bonus material", and in that case I'm also missing four games; Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wings for the DS, Crisis Core - Final Fantasy VII for the PSP, Final Fantasy IV: The After Years for the Wii, and a copy of the original Final Fantasy XIV for the PC. Yeah, they count, you're right, and I have no way to defend myself from the public here. You can probably still agree with me on the fact that I've come a long way in just a few years, here. Give me a few more and I'll show you what's what; remember that the games pictured above were my main priorities, 'cause I own the necessary hardware for each and every one.

The first game reviewed in 2014 will be one of those games, in honour of my lifelong mission as a gamer to collect every piece of Final Fantasy history there is. There ain't a lot of options, 'cause out of those 19 games (and one movie), I've reviewed all but five. I've already decided on the game and I think it'll be one epic kickoff for the year, regardless which one it is. I've always been fascinated by this series, but now I think my fascination with it is on a whole new level.

As for the Marvel marathon, I'm really trying to pick up the pace with that as soon as I'm done with this epic journey... but it will change a little. As you might've noticed, I have kept to certain patterns concerning the order of reviewing those games, and it has started to bore me (which might show, due to my improvisational and sometimes over-analytical writing style), and it has most likely started to bore everyone who reads this stuff. So, I'll shuffle the pack a little. The marathon will see a true end in the coming months, it will not be cut off - but don't be alarmed if the order of things changes a little. Totally unrelated reviews popping up, impromptu franchise switches within the Marvel universe etc., things you wouldn't necessarily expect from me (I'm a well-known neurotic when it comes to order and organization). It's all for a greater good. I still think taking on Marvel Comics was a fabulous idea, but in the beginning I had no realistic conception of how many games I actually had on my hands. Now that I'm this far, I can't stop. I've enjoyed myself, but trust me, once it's finished, I'm NEVER doing a marathon quite like this again. I've learned my lesson. Thank God DC Comics only has Batman to fuel my fire. :D

Wow, this rant turned out much longer than it was supposed to. Stick around for an epic 2014 start-up - it'll take some time, perhaps even a week, but I think it'll be a good one. In every sense. It's something I've never done on this blog before, you could say it's a whole experience and challenge to me, as a gamer AND a critic - even a rebirth of sorts, to be even more dramatic. Perfect for starting off fresh. I think I've said too much here, already, so just... stay tuned.