maanantai 24. tammikuuta 2011

REVIEW - Bram Stoker's Dracula (1993)

NES VERSION
Genre(s): Action / Platform
Released: 1993
Available on: Amiga, GB, GEN, GG, NES, PC, Sega-CD, SMS, SNES
Developer(s): Psygnosis, Traveller's Tales
Publisher(s): Psygnosis, Sony Imagesoft
Players: 1


Founded in 1989, Sony Imagesoft was a subsidiary of CBS/Sony, which originally published games exclusively for Nintendo systems, before, for some reason, they were signed to publish games for Sega systems as well. The strict rule was that everything that had Sony Imagesoft written on it was total crap, they were the new LJN. The most common thread between the two companies was that you could take any bad movie license and bet your life on either LJN or Sony Imagesoft's logo being on the box art, and it usually was. If not them, it was THQ (Home Alone!) or Ocean Software, but at least they had some playable games. 1994 was a year that Sony Imagesoft surprised the hell out of critics with quality games like Skyblazer and Mickey Mania. In 1995, Sony Imagesoft became a part of Sony Computer Entertainment, who today are one of the highest-grossing video game publishers in the world - responsible for the releases of most PlayStation exclusives. What a beautiful story, huh? Well, all sins of the past can't be forgiven. Especially if one of those sins happens to be Bram Stoker's Dracula. Although its shittiness doesn't quite match that of Imagesoft's other pride and joys from their movie licensing days, such as Last Action Hero and Cliffhanger, it is bad. Oh Lord above, it is bad. Worst of all, it came out on nearly every platform of the era.

Don't know about blood, but it does suck

A British lawyer named Jonathan Harker travels to Transylvania to offer his legal aid to a mysterious Count Dracula. Soon he finds himself trapped in the count's castle, while its immortal, vampiric owner is on his way to meet Harker's lovely fiancee back in England, whom he believes to be the reincarnation of his lost love from centuries past. With the help of vampire expert Dr. Abraham van Helsing and others that have suffered due to Dracula's actions, Harker sets out to slay the abomination and save his bride-to-be.

Yeah, I wouldn't have found a human skeleton
on the wall any suspicious, either.
I watched Bram Stoker's Dracula for a school project back in 1997, I was 13 years old. I didn't get it. What's surprising is that I watched it again on TV back in 2005, I still didn't get it. I thought reading the book would give me some insight of what the hell was going on in that movie, so I read it in 2008. I didn't get the book, either. The movie is confusing, but it has a non-Hannibal Lecter type of crazy Anthony Hopkins delivering unforgettable one-liners, and Gary fuckin' Oldman playing the big cheese, so it isn't all that bad in the core sense of the word. The book is just a damn boring collection of journals, I really had to struggle through the whole thing, but it has some good parts which I truly enjoyed reading. I still want to like both the book and the movie so badly, but I just can't, not even as a gothic horror fan, but the bottom line is that they both have good parts. Bram Stoker's Dracula, the video game, doesn't.

Since Sony Imagesoft never actually developed any games besides some cheap games based on TV quiz shows and just felt the need to get the "credit" for every shitty licensed game there was, this game was actually done by Psygnosis, which in my mind was a quite formidable game developer at the time. It's amazing that out of the seven people who worked on this piece of crap, at least two also worked on the game that brought Psygnosis to the map, Lemmings.

Let's start with the graphics, which are probably the game's best quality, though far from great. I've seen uglier games on the NES, and as a matter of fact, I've seen a worse pixelated version of Keanu Reeves. The guy on the screen doesn't look like Keanu one bit, but at least he doesn't look like total crap. I don't know if I should even start with the music, since thoroughly going through every annoying bit of soundtrack in this game would take me the rest of the night and I would probably run out of appropriate nasty words halfway through the deal. The music is obnoxiously bad, and I'll leave it at that. Not to mention the sound effects.

Wouldn't hurt to put on some pants, Gary.
The NES version of the game is not much more than a platformer of the most generic kind. A single stage is comprised of two different phases, daytime and night time (or nightime, as it is so graciously typoed). There really ain't no difference between the two, except that kind of like in Castlevania II: Simon's Quest, "nightime" is when most monsters come out of their hiding places to drive you nuts, and appropriately, "nightime" is also when you'll face off with the bosses in the game, that are just about as generic as they can get. The only difficulty of the bosses lies in their cramped hiding places. Figure out some boring strategy and go with it. Getting to the bosses is something different.

You have three lives in the beginning of each game. A generous abundance of extra lives is something you should not expect, and the cherry on the top of the cake is that even continues have to be earned as items. Yes, that's right, there are no continues. Three lives plus the very rare 1-Up, that's it. What else? Well, usually you get full health after each death. In this game, you only get half. What else? Seemingly normal lifts can suddenly give way and drop you into spikes or water, which is apparently just as hazardous to your health, mandatory leaps of faith into chasms can lunge you right into the heart of a storm of ghosts, hands can suddenly appear out of walls (read: nowhere) and slap you to your death, and an enemy might spawn right in your spot and kill you just before you exit the stage you are in. This game simply can't be beaten without an extensive knowledge on the art of trial and error... and of course, a truckload of patience that you are easily prompted to spend elsewhere.

Just as any unimaginative NES platformer, Bram Stoker's Dracula borrows a lot from other games. Items are gathered from question mark blocks... hmm, I wonder what game they are from? There are secondary weapons such as hatchets and holy water, but unlike in Castlevania, you don't get to choose between weapons. You are stuck using the secondary weapons instead of your "trusty" knife as long as you have enough of them. Non-surprisingly, you usually run out of them when you would actually need them, which is in boss fights, but at least Psygnosis had some thought put into this: secondary weapon tokens fly all over the screen in most boss fights.

"Whoa."
If we're talking about challenge, we absolutely must take into account that Bram Stoker's Dracula is downright impossible... to stand. You play it, you die. You play it again, you die. One more time, you die. By that time, if you're still interested, you'll have memorized every awkward obstacle and the spots where enemies just magically spawn right in front of you. You find a secret passage, and an item which grants you one chance to continue. Right on, you're doing well! ...But you're bored out of your God damn socks so it really doesn't matter. Since you're so bored, you'll probably just run forward and get punctured by some damn spikes... from several inches away, but just because you're on the same floor level (it really happens from time to time, with certain sets of spikes). Before long, you die. And that's about it. Not much use in wasting quality time on a game that has enemies, obstacles and other hazards coming out of the purest blue, and most of the time, only three lives to spend. It's not very short, either... at least not short enough.

Unlike Imagesoft's worst, though, Bram Stoker's Dracula on the NES is a quite harmless game. It doesn't really hurt to try it, it's just not any good and paying for it is one of the worst mistakes a gamer can possibly do. Almost a fun way to kill some very, very extra time - but I think when it comes to vampire killing on the NES, I'll go back to the Castlevania trilogy. Yes, even Simon's Quest.

Graphics : 6.5
Sound : 4.0
Playability : 4.3
Challenge : 5.0
Overall : 4.5


---

SNES VERSION
Well, I just said that Bram Stoker's Dracula on the NES, although bad, is not one of Sony Imagesoft's absolutely worst games. The SNES rendition of the game is. Think about every frustration you have ever experienced while playing a video game, and you will most likely find it from the confines of this abso-fuckin'-lutely wasted piece of cartridge plastic.

The graphics of the game aren't BAD, they just simply look like NOTHING. Very similar to dozens of other movie licenses: large sprites, generic backgrounds, not much details, not much happening. Same goes for the music: not exactly awful in this version, but totally unmemorable. Kind of like the same ambient stuff used in the horrible Batman Forever a couple of years later.

Although this version of the game was also developed by Psygnosis and published by Sony Imagesoft, it was developed by a wholly different group of people, and it's actually rubbed in your face that the game is based on the movie. The imagery is very close to the movie, and Francis Ford Coppola is mentioned by name in the credits. I feel sad for one of the best movie directors of our time right now... as a funny sidenote, Fred Fuchs is also mentioned! Three cheers for Fred Fuchs! When it comes to the Psygnosis staff that was actually part of the game's development, I have to say I'm even more surprised of the quality of these guys' later projects than I was in the NES game's case. Well, I guess every career has a beginning...

During all my years as a video gamer, I've very rarely played games that are so bad they piss me off as a person. I usually just laugh at them, except if I've paid for them. Luckily I very rarely buy games on instinct, I have to know they're good before I spend one stinking cent on them. However, when I was a kid, I played anything, especially games based on movies and TV shows I liked. These games were rarely bought, but I rented a lot of games from the local video store, and Bram Stoker's Dracula was one of them. Even to me, a kid that couldn't tell shit from flowers when it came to video games back then, the game was one awfully snotty slap to the face. Trying it again after all these years almost made me lose belief in humanity.

I'm in the second stage and wondering why
in the hell I'm still playing this game.
The NES and SNES game have very little in common. The NES game was at least some sort of a platformer, while all you do in the SNES game is move forward and kill a lot of folks and animals. To make things a little more cryptic, in some stages you need to locate Dr. van Helsing to be able to find the exit, which you've probably already been to a couple of times - you simply cannot exit before picking up a "weapon upgrade" from dear old Abe. This "upgrade" doesn't help you one stinking bit - your sword remains just as pathetic the whole time. The most important thing the two games have in common is death. Well, the SNES version at least has three continues to offer you from the very beginning, but if you have any sense for gameplay at all, you'll be done with the game after your first visit to the continue screen.

Everything that moves is hazardous to your health, and yes, some obstacles and hazards still appear out of complete blue, and with no logic at all. Just about everyone's an enemy. Yep, even that drunk passed out on the floor, or a pile of crates. He's your enemy. Don't know what Harker has ever done to him, but he hates his guts and has a lot of spare bottles to throw at him.

On a 99% certainty, you won't be patient enough or interested in this game enough to try to beat it, but it is possible, more than that since if you just keep mashing the attack button(s) and memorizing the locations of every random spike coming out of the ground or a boulder falling on you, you will finish the game in no time. Even the bosses are just as pathetic as the game itself.

It still might not be Imagesoft's worst game, can't say I'm overwhelmed by a desire to get into those two or three games, but it is most definitely still one of the worst commercial games released on my favourite console of all time, so you can pretty much imagine how much love and respect I have for the company's SNES catalogue in general. Compared to this major piece of horse shit, the NES version is more than playable. The title screen looks much closer to home than the one of the NES version, but everything else squeezed into this poor cartridge should never have seen the light.

Graphics : 6.0
Sound : 5.8
Playability : 2.8
Challenge : 2.5
Overall : 2.7


Trivia

GameRankings: 20.00% (Sega-CD), 56.50% (SNES)

The PC version was also developed by Psygnosis, but unlike any other version, it's a first-person shooter.

Good vs. Evil - Simon Belmont & Vlad Tepes Dracula

Simon as he appears
in Castlevania. The
way we'd like to
remember the guy.
SIMON BELMONT
Voice actor(s): Keith Silverstein
First game: Castlevania (1986)
Latest game: Castlevania Judgment (2008)


No great lead character has been botched over the years quite like Simon Belmont. We who grew up during the great times of the NES and SNES learned to know Simon as a He-Man lookalike who wore crimson armour and a super-effective whip meant to crack bone, and who had an absolutely wicked soundtrack to back up his vampire killin' ways. Simon Belmont was the first real horror game hero. All the Belmonts who followed him couldn't tally up to Simon's greatness. Simon is by far the only true Belmont. Well sure, there's his ancestor Trevor, but Simon appeared as the main character in more great games than just one.

Well, enter the modern times. It doesn't matter whether or not a Castlevania game was made in Japan or the U.S., each new model of Simon is even more horrible than the last. No one wants to see or hear a red-headed, feminine, leather-clad pansy calling himself (or herself...) Simon Belmont and disgracing the fine reputation of the Vampire Killer whip practically _dancing_ to some classic, but totally butchered tunes that hardly ever needed a remix. I even liked the retarded Simon in Captain N: The Game Master more.

Whatever he might've looked like since Castlevania Chronicles on the PlayStation, no one can forget the best moments spent in the boots of Simon Belmont, when he was still a character that could be taken seriously. The first Castlevania game is one of the true classics of the Nintendo Entertainment System, and the franchise's first 16-bit installment Super Castlevania IV is still one of the best games ever made. Not only did an ancient tome (probably a book on 16-bit technology) teach Simon how to whip the Vampire Killer in eight different directions, he could also use it as a shield to deflect impromptu attacks from the worst scourge of the Castlevania franchise that I usually dub "flying bastards", 'cause that's exactly what they are. He could also walk while crouching, which makes him one of the most agile Castlevania protagonists in history. He single-handedly slaughtered Dracula's foul ass to the best collection of music the series has ever had in a single game; including his very own theme song, surprisingly called "Theme of Simon Belmont".

I didn't want to show this, but this
is what Simon looks like in the Wii
exclusive Castlevania Judgment.
Jumped the shark?
I think I got a little carried away there - Super Castlevania IV is indeed the game which had Simon jumping the shark stage after stage, block after block. Who could possibly forget that seemingly endless and frustrating climb up the Clock Tower? Or the fabulous collective of music and boss fights that game had? Aww, I have to dig the game up again! Can't help it!

Hit rock bottom?
I think every game Simon has been a part of in the last 12 years hit rock bottom. When he was still THE Simon Belmont I once knew, he definitely hit rock bottom in Castlevania II: Simon's Quest. The box art portrays Simon sporting his most vintage look (I love NES box art), the music of the game is awesome - it's not where "Bloody Tears" originated, but it made the song famous - and, it was the first Castlevania game I ever played. That being said, it was also the last Castlevania game I played in over ten years. Who knows, I might take it on again some day, just for the novelty of it, but it is horrible, no doubt about it in my mind.

---

Count Dracula as he appears
in Castlevania: Dracula X.
VLAD TEPES DRACULA
a.k.a. Matthias Cronqvist, Count Dracula, The Lord of Darkness, Nosferatu, Gabriel Belmont, Dracul etc.
Voice actor(s): Michael Gough, Steven Jay Blum, Patrick Seitz, Robert Carlyle
First game: Dracula (1983)
Latest game: Castlevania: Lords of Shadow (2010)


If there ever was a good measure for being a bad-ass, how about being the king of vampires or existing as long as there is evil in the world? We're not only talking about the Dracula that was made one of the greatest (and definitely most persistent) video game villains of all time by the Castlevania franchise, we're talking about the universal scum of the earth that was made popular by novelist Bram Stoker's milestone in gothic literature, Dracula, in 1897. It is debatable what was the first game featuring this creature of the night, but King's Quest II: Romancing the Throne (1985) was chronologically the first game I remember having a "fight" against Dracula. Intellivision's Dracula from 1983 would be my best guess for the first game that featured Drac himself, and not just some vampiric nobody. Kain and Raziel, you know I didn't mean anything by that, and your turn will come soon in this very same feature.

Castlevania was the game which made kicking Dracula's ass an annual thing. To date, Dracula has appeared in some form in every single Castlevania game I've played, even through loopholes after loopholes. Whether it's him in his human form, present the whole time and waiting to reveal himself in the end, or the driving force of the story from the very beginning, he has been there and there has been no doubt about it. He has actually BEEN the lead character at least twice, according to some quite crazy script. Soma Cruz, the protagonist in both Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow and Dawn of Sorrow, was revealed to be some sort of a Dracula reincarnate - though a very pleasant one - and the story of Gabriel Belmont, the protagonist of the much-spoken Castlevania reboot Lords of Shadow, is the "new Castlevania's" version of Dracula's origin - which was revealed by the surprise ending of the game. So, Dracula is truly immortal... as long as Konami rakes in the cash.

Dracula's latest form in Castlevania:
Lords of Shadow
. Pretty cool.
Jumped the shark?
In Dracula's case, I'm not really sure what jumping the shark means. He has never been too entertaining in a fight in any game, and he has never really made an impression with something other than his already established charisma. I liked the ending of Lords of Shadow very much, but then again, it had Dracula at his most vulnerable state. I think I'll go with the final boss fight in Super Castlevania IV with this one - he wasn't a fun guy to clash with, but just getting to him resulted in an adrenaline surge for the ages.

Hit rock bottom?
Well, Dracula is such a commonly utilized character that there are many shitty games that he's been in, and when it comes to the Castlevania series, I can think of at least three different moments from three different games that I've wanted to quit being his fan. In Simon's Quest, he was the most pathetic and anti-climactic final boss ever - I've not fought him, but I've seen the videos. In Dracula X, he was so God damn, frustratingly difficult that he had you trying to bite your own balls off. In Symphony of the Night, he sported his coolest look ever, but then botched his own awesome aura with one of the worst lines in video game history ("WHAT IS A MAN!?" and so on). But, to spare the Castlevania series from total degradation, I have to say Bram Stoker's Dracula is one of the worst games I've ever played, on every platform it was released on. ...And guess what? I'm reviewing at least two versions of it, very soon.

REVIEW - LittleBigPlanet 2 (2011)

Genre(s): Platform / Multi
Released: 2011
Available on: PS3
Developer(s): Media Molecule
Publisher(s): Sony Computer Entertainment
Players: 1-4

The sequel to one of the best video games in history never seemed very crucial to me when it was first rumoured. We had a game that got a new patch and tons of DLC each week - it grew and grew all the time, so did the community and its amount of different levels took about six months into the game's release to increase into ridiculous amounts. LittleBigPlanet was a game that never ended - what the hell would we do with another apple from the same tree? Well, first of all, LittleBigPlanet did have its limits. Secondly, idiots and untalented people ruined the thrill of the community. Thirdly, when LittleBigPlanet 2 was formally announced, it was made damn sure that players would not expect the same game all over again. The trailers showed fully functional shoot 'em ups, role-playing games, strategy games, whatever you could imagine, made with the new and improved level editor. Can it be true? Has a platform game really been overhauled into rather a platform for games? ...Yes. With LittleBigPlanet 2, Media Molecule once again tests human imagination, and this time, they're aiming for the borderline. Be you a casual player or a total freak for the creative side of the game, you will love LittleBigPlanet 2. To be totally frank, the foretold year of the PlayStation 3 begins with a bang: its best game thus far.

The captivity of negativity

STARRING
Stephen Fry : Narrator
Colin McFarlane : Larry Da Vinci
Judy Sweeney : Victoria von Bathysphere
Barry Meade : Clive Handforth
Jules de Jongh : Eve Silva Paragorica
Ewan Bailey : Dr. Herbert Higginbotham
Jeremy Mayne : The Negativitron


An intergalactic vacuum cleaner called the Negativitron sucks in half of Craftworld. Sackboy is saved by members of a resistance group calling themselves the Alliance, and then trained to be a member himself, to do battle against the calamity from outer space.

I can't emphasize enough how I didn't believe in LittleBigPlanet 2, not even in the possibility of a sequel when the first game came out. However, every bit of info that leaked about it after the game was formally announced was better than the last. Finally, I decided to pre-order the game, win or lose. Not really my style, but somehow, I just knew the game was going to rock. I created only one crappy level in the era of LittleBigPlanet, level editing just didn't interest me. LittleBigPlanet 2's vast array of options practically forces you to be interested in it. Actually, this review was delayed because me and my friend spent the last night faithfully recreating the legendary first stage of Dr. Wily's castle in Mega Man 2 to a toyish LBP form. It's perfectly possible, right down to sequencing the music. We got to the halfway mark, and so far, the level looks awesome. If creating a platformer's not good enough for you, try creating a shooter in the vein of R-Type or a simple arcade game in the vein of Pong. This is all perfectly possible, too. Oh, and if you're just a casual player with still no interest in creating levels yourself, you've still come to the right place when you slap in this baby; the story mode rocks. It's more rewarding, more alive, more diverse, and more challenging than the one in the first game.

Your buddy stole your grapple? Not to worry,
stick a grappling hook up his ass and see if
he tries something like that again.
The game looks awesome in the LittleBigPlanet sort of way - it's a bit more multi-dimensional and your character does some death-defying turns in the air while jumping off a bouncy platform. It's a very dynamic game from all standpoints. Even all old community levels are filtered to fit the new scheme. The characters are no longer combinations of a few blocks: they move, they have different facial expressions, they're very much alive. The whole new Sackbot engine is what's used to bring more flesh into these characters, as you will see when and if you get to level editing.

The soundtrack's still chocked with elevator music, but there are some fun remixes of classical tunes such as the theme from 2001: A Space Odyssey and Beethoven's 5th. The immensely popular Finnish metal band Nightwish contributes a boss theme, an instrumental version of their song "Whoever Brings the Night", which is perfect for the situation. Daniel Pemberton has a couple of new tracks up his sleeve, which are bound to make an impression of some sort. What's shit is that most of the new music in the game cannot be remixed in level editing, for reasons unknown. If you carry over the stuff from the first game, that's all still available for remixing. The custom soundtrack, which came along as a patch for the first game at some point, is carried over and it enables you to rock out to the music on your HDD, inside the confines of your pod or during level editing.

The most important audiovisual difference between the first and the second game is that there are cutscenes, during which the NPC's really speak instead of just spewing out huge amounts of insane mumbo. Once again, I'm not familiar with the original audio track - in the Finnish version, they apparently replaced the good old narrator with the guy who does the Finnish voice of Buzz, which is first of all quite distracting, and admittedly the guy's voice annoys the hell out of me, especially during long tutorials and the dozens of reminders which pop up every now and then in every sort of situation. The Finnish voice actors have very different lingual skills - one speaks very clear English while one can't pronounce English at all - and it's amazing what different ways are found to fuck up a simple word like "Craftworld". The names of the characters are articulate mysteries right up until they appear as text on the screen. I'm thinking of changing the in-game language for good - I believe the Brits do a good, quirky job and tell the already good jokes that much better. So, the Finnish translation doesn't affect the rating one bit. Just wanted to take this opportunity to bash it some.

The beginning of LittleBigPlanet 2 plays out very much like that of its predecessor. However, soon enough it's made very clear that the similarities are brief, and in only just to allow new players, as well as those who choose not to carry over their old profile from the previous game to get (re-)acquainted with the basic controls, and grab tools and items that were crucial to level editing in the first game. The main emphasis is on the new features, all the way. The Metal Gear Solid Level Kit introduced the Paintinator, and the Pirates of the Caribbean Level Kit introduced water - in LittleBigPlanet 2, some sort of a gun and water are, of course, basic elements. Water isn't very common, in fact it only appears in one race challenge during the story mode - but guns and other special items are available in almost every level. The Paintinator is available in level editing, but the weapon of choice in the story mode is called the Creatinator, which can shoot everything from plasma balls to standard, touch-sensitive bombs. Special items include a grappling hook, which probably needs no explanation, and a pair of gloves that enable Sack to haul and throw items made of light materials. In further addition, we have a Controlinator, used for controlling mounts, each of which has some sort of special ability - a worker bee capable of carrying heavy loads, a dog so cute it's almost icky but that has a bark from hell, and a rabbit with very destructive feet, to name some examples. Oh, more? Here goes.

Sackbots are these wooden copies of Sackboy, that can become quite a formidable army when well utilized. In level editing, they can be used for creating more realistic Sack characters than just the one you control, or more realistic NPC's as opposed to those in the style of the previous game. They are quite an important part of the story as well. In many levels, you need to rescue a group of Sackbots from certain doom. The more you are able to guide to the very end of the level, the more prizes and points you get. In the several score challenges of the game, it's the very same thing - the better score, the better prizes. It's not just for the sake of high scoring this time around, which is very neat and it makes the score challenges a lot more interesting and replayable. Anyway, back to the Sackbots - how easy it is to guide them depends on their assigned behaviour. If scared shitless, they just run away from you. If they like you, they follow your every move. If they're completely oblivious to just about everything happening around them, you can always use a seductive doll to get their attention. Manipulating the bots' movements in different situations and levels is puzzling and fun, it plays out kind of like with the namesakes in Lemmings or the Mini-Marios in Mario vs. Donkey Kong. In the later stages of the game, YOU will be the one helping THEM to get rid of enemies and obstacles, which brings in yet another cool angle on how the Sackbots can be used in your own levels.

Boss fights were definitely a part of LittleBigPlanet, but they weren't very climactic and the same strategy could be used from the beginning to the end. I loved the Metal Gear REX fight in the Metal Gear Solid Level Kit, as it had multiple, clearly cut phases. I liked the Kraken in Pirates, too. In LittleBigPlanet 2, each boss fight is just as good as those ones. Clearly inspired by people's new-found fascination with epic boss fights, Media Molecule worked to make each boss fight a spectacular deathmatch.

A game of intergalactic pool, anyone?
During the later half of the game, Media Molecule demonstrates how a platformer can be turned upside down and suddenly made into a 2D shooter, even in retro style, or an arcade game, or just about any game, just like that. The question of how LittleBigPlanet would feel in zero gravity is also answered. I feel they could've demonstrated it all just a bit further than just a few story levels. Of course, we have the versus levels, which allow you to get it on with your friends in multiple sorts of shoutfests such as a very generic game of basketball or space pool, or a version of the developers' other hit Rag Doll Kung Fu, with a rocket-launching Creatinator standing in for martial art skills. The versus levels are a great idea, but again, it's all about demonstrating different possibilities when it comes to Media Molecule's own levels, not necessarily the best that can be accomplished with the level/game creation tools. Although there are some gems among the in-game versus levels, most of them are a bit too simple and boring, not near the quality of the story levels. If there's a way to sum up LittleBigPlanet 2's flaws, it's that Media Molecule perhaps trusts players a bit too much... and the so called "simplicity" of their level editor.

The game offers a quick recap on the old features of the level editor before slapping us around with gigantic gauntlets of new information. I'm deeply annoyed by the fact that it's once again quantity over quality, even moreso: the new radar system spans something like six or seven new types of radars, and there's a whole bunch of new, complicated tools that might definitely prove useful in the hands of a keen and skilled, and preferrably experienced user, but a casual player might not stand a chance in making a decent level with them. The narrator carelessly uses awkward terms and keeps squeezing in totally irrelevant jabs in the wrong places, as if he's deliberately trying to confuse the player. The editor's save feature once again fails from time to time, leaving us cursing whenever a tool's settings are all fucked up even if we double checked they were fine the last time we saved, and small parts of large constructions keep falling and effectively demolishing the whole wretched thing, just because we forgot to glue that tiny fragment of a particle in place.

However, playing around with the level editor's fun and most of all, extremely intriguing. After we got to work on the Mega Man 2 level, I finally figured out what's so great about it all, and like I said, another 12 hours in and we're gonna be the proudest level creators on this side of LittleBigPlanet. We're even thinking of doing a series of these "retrocreations", time will tell. For now, I'll be happy once we get this one done - it takes a LOT of work, especially when you're working with a damn perfectionist who wants to map the whole area once every five minutes to see if there's a pixel-sized mistake somewhere.

To point out a couple of more flaws before letting my love for the game handle the rest of this review - I'd have to take the usual problem of the grappling hook into account. It's been a problem (at least for me) in just about every game that has some sort of a substitutional feature: your character is prone to target the last grappling point instead of the next, no matter what kind of a hurry you are in and no matter how hard you keep raping the analog stick to the direction of the next grappling point. Without necessarily spoiling anything, this can turn out one LittleBigPlanet-sized problem in the very last boss fight - it can literally spell doom for you if Sack fails to target the correct spot even once. Also, some of the Creatinator ammo lacks precision, especially the cakes - and what's funny is that they're called something like "precision ammo". You can hit an enemy's brain straight on, but chances are, nothing happens. Same goes for the cakes you can throw at enemies by hand. I hope they patch these small, but very annoying flaws as soon as possible. If and when they do, we'll have a perfect story game on our hands. I'm quite serious.

"Have you met by cousin Robbie, who works
at Konami?" Hrr...
Let's talk about general difficulty first, then the Trophies, since the Trophy system in the game is quite unique. If you want to "ace" the game, in other words survive the game without dying, gather every single prize bubble there is, and finally plat the game, you don't just run through it - you're in for hours upon hours of true challenge. The enemies aren't much to deal with, but the game is filled to the brim with fiendish obstacles and puzzles - one race challenge in the game is one I still haven't been able to figure out, I haven't even played through it yet, and I have one versus level (?) that hasn't even been unlocked. There are many levels that need to be played through many, many times before you can hope to have found everything, and even levels that need to be played through in several different ways to be fully conquered. Getting through the challenges of LittleBigPlanet 2 once is not hard, but truly completing it is.

As for the Trophies, LittleBigPlanet 2 is not a game for Whores unlike the first one. No Trophies for hearts, so every below-mediocre level author out there can forget about those childish "H4H" rants. Also, simply completing a set amount of community levels, or creating levels exclusively to pass around free Trophies don't work anymore. The Trophies are still very much based on your actions within the LittleBigPlanet community, but most of them take some true dedication to the game and truly productive level editing. We all were there to see the shit that poured into the community in the first game's heyday, now I think people will think twice before making their five-minute efforts public and spamming them with heart-related comments. Media Molecule's clean-up program seems to work; almost every new level or short movie made with the cutscene editor I've seen emerge in the last week have, at the very least, been playable (or watchable). And man, can some people use the music sequencer or what? Special props, once again, to user "jjmac13", whose rendition of the classic Dr. Wily Stage 1 tune we're gladly using in our level - and which also inspired us to begin working on it.

LittleBigRetroShooter. Awesome.
The thing with Trophies is that a base retail has an undefined limit to them - currently, the record is 57, set by Heavy Rain. LittleBigPlanet 2 has 47 of them, but in addition, it has Pins, also unlocked by certain achievements. Every Trophy unlocks a Pin in LittleBigPlanet 2, but there are hundreds more of them than just those that have a corresponding Trophy. These Pins are meant exclusively to raise the player's spirit, and what you consider your three best Pins can be attached to your profile avatar within the LittleBigPlanet community, to show off your skill level and experience with the franchise to other players. There seems to be no end to these Pins and it's always comforting to hear that cue whenever you've unlocked one. Not quite as great as gaining a Trophy, but nice.

I'm ending this review rather quick. Why? Because we have work to do, damn it! The level's almost done and we've not even started to discuss the mechanics of the Mecha Dragon! I don't have PlayStation Move, I don't have PlayStation Eye, but even without their features which are considered essential by some, I consider LittleBigPlanet 2 to be the most captivating and best experience I've had on the PlayStation 3 yet. LittleBigPlanet 2 is a bigger, better, and even more lasting version of the killer app that its predecessor was. It's unbelievable how they could improve the basics by such a great deal, I simply don't believe it can be done again. So, for now I can't foresee the release of a LittleBigPlanet 3. But, since this game was released, and it turned out this good, I think I'd better quit doubting Media Molecule's imagination and talent.

Graphics : 9.8
Sound : 9.2
Playability : 9.7
Challenge : 9.3
Overall : 9.6


Trivia

GameRankings: 93.22%

The events take place in Craftworld. Craftworld was the working title of the first LittleBigPlanet game.

All retail versions of the game include the free PSN game Sackboy's Prehistoric Moves, which was developed by Media Molecule in 2010 to test and demonstrate PlayStation Move in a LittleBigPlanet environment.

lauantai 22. tammikuuta 2011

REVIEW - LittleBigPlanet (2008)

Genre(s): Platform
Released: 2008
Available on: PS3, PSP
Developer(s): Media Molecule
Publisher(s): Sony Computer Entertainment
Players: 1-4

Let's establish some sort of a timeline. 1985: Super Mario Bros. is released, the phenomenon of the 2D platformer is born. 1996: 2D platformer is killed off, first by Naughty Dog's Crash Bandicoot for the Sony PlayStation. Then, Mario goes all 3D. 1998: Sony caps the deal with the release of Spyro the Dragon. 2D is commercially done. Cult franchises such as Castlevania, Mega Man and Oddworld are the last to uphold the magic of 2D, but the main weight is placed on different elements than basic platforming. 2005: Mark Healey, Alex Evans, Dave Smith and Kareem Ettouney leave Lionhead Studios and create an independent PC game entitled Rag Doll Kung Fu. The game becomes a huge hit on Steam and a reworked version of the game, subtitled Fists of Plastic, is soon in development exclusively for the PlayStation 3. 2006: the four men establish Media Molecule, a company that works on very simple principles - small company, small budget, big profit. They begin work on a game called Craftworld. 2007: Media Molecule announces "The Next Big Thing", previously known as Craftworld, which turns out to be a 2D platformer. In time, the title of the game takes the form of LittleBigPlanet. Following their guideline, the company keeps costs at an absolute minimum and to prolong the game's lifespan, they create an extensive level editor, the kind of which has never seen before. In all of its unique simplicity, LittleBigPlanet arguably becomes Sony's first real flagship title on the PS3, and one of the best games ever made.

The pain of creation

STARRING
Stephen Fry : Narrator

On LittleBigPlanet, everything is based on the creating and sharing. This planet of endless imagination was created by gifted individuals called Creator Curators. They made everything on it, all the way from the clouds to the trees. The delicate balance of LittleBigPlanet is shaken when a mischeavous outcast Curator calling himself the Collector robs the world's finest of their creations and keeps them all to himself. Without creating and sharing, the world is in chaos. It's up to an adorable adventurer made out of sackcloth to make things right again all around LittleBigPlanet.

I believe it was in October 2008, when I first really paid attention to the development of LittleBigPlanet. I had only heard the name of the game and I thought it was something along the lines of Katamari or a traditional platformer, just one that had Sony backing it up, which would've explained the hype. It was at that time I saw the first trailers and gameplay videos. I was so impressed by the game's visual style that I immediately fell in love with it. I had to know every detail about the game, and I just had to have it. Dead Space had just come out, and when my sister asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I immediately gave her a choice between two games: LittleBigPlanet and Dead Space. As I pretty much imagined, since she is a total naysayer when it comes to even fictional violence, she abandoned the mere thought of buying Dead Space when she saw the box art and bought me the much, much cuter LittleBigPlanet. I must say I'm more than pleased with her decision. Not only since I (much) later bought a brand new copy of Dead Space at the price of €9.90, while LittleBigPlanet was still around €29.90 at the time, but because LittleBigPlanet is simply one of my favourite games in history - and my history with video games is long and fruitful. Why? I'll give you the details in just a moment - but the main thing is, that LittleBigPlanet is a game that never ends. Or at least it was, before its sequel came along - but let me tell you that even the existence of LittleBigPlanet 2 and all of its new possibilities don't erase the appeal of the wacky story mode.

LittleBigPlanet is full of curious beings... curioser,
curioser...
The graphics of the game are stunning, and what's even more stunning is the very visual style of it. LittleBigPlanet looks like a working combination of cut-out animation, Wallace & Gromit, a Tim Burton flick and a touch of some completely original British surreality. You can customize the playfield and your personal space in your pod just about any way you like, with just about every item you find. You can change in and out of thousands of different costume combinations in the fashion of a dress-up game. You can combine generic stickers to create your own custom symbols, create all kinds of abominations with tools, mechanics and items - there's very little that the game won't allow you to even try to customize the visual side of your gameplay experience.

The music of the game is best described as "catchy elevator music". It's mostly alternative pop, meant to annoy the hell out of people who take things way too seriously, and inject everyone else with a dose of positive energy. The last world's theme is awesome in the core sense of the word; it's notably different from all the others, as it is a very melodic instrumental, decorated with an underlying, heavy guitar riff that is sure to please those into harder stuff. The level editor allows you to totally remix these songs yourself - for example, you can strip the aforementioned tune of everything except the guitar riff and the main melody. The way the game lets you tinker even with the music like this is amazing.

There is no voiceover work - all the "spoken dialogue" is complete gibberish - all communication in the game is text-based. However, there's a narrator guiding you every step of the way, from the story to level editing. In the original British version, it's none other than Stephen "Jeeves" Fry who shows you the ropes. I haven't played the original version; in the Finnish version, Mr. Fry is replaced by a Finnish actor with an equally distinct and pleasant voice (Eero Saarinen). I'm guessing it's the same thing in all countries that have their own audio patch. However, I'm very familiar with Mr. Fry's work and I'm sure he does a fabulous job as the dryish but extremely pleasant narrator and tutor of the game.

To the casual player, LittleBigPlanet is a cute, simplified platformer wholly based on the laws of completely natural physics, in which you gather points and all kinds of stuff ranging from sound clips to tools to stickers to machines to mechanisms needed to work those machines. And of course, clothes for your initially naked little sackperson. Everything imaginable. There are eight different worlds - though I like to call them scenarios - in which there are several different stages. Most of them are normal platforming stages with a beginning and an end, and a few puzzles in between, but finding special keys in these stages unlocks score challenges, in which your aim is - surprise, surprise - to get a high score. There are two kinds of score challenges: races and endless challenges, which will end only in the untimely case of your Sackboy/girl's death.

An angry bride on the loose. On a huge, fiery
skullwagon.
What makes LittleBigPlanet as a casual experience special, then? Well, in these times when everything gets more and more complicated, it's always cool when a franchise comes along and strips away all the BS from its genre. First, it was Naughty Dog's action-packed epic Uncharted: Drake's Fortune - very simple controls, very straightforward, BUT an amazing game. Well, there are a total of four (4) buttons you absolutely need to conquer LittleBigPlanet, besides the left analog stick of course, you wise-ass monkey: the X button, square, circle, and the R1 button. It's no surprise that the X is used for jumping, while R1 is used for grabbing. Square and circle are used for opening the Pop-It menu and cancelling actions in and out of it, respectively. That's it, that's all you need - everything else is extra. You can control your character's emotions with the digital pad, from angry to frightened, sad to happy, and make him dance or nod his head with the Sixaxis.

LittleBigPlanet incorporates an undefined physics engine that's basically out of this world when it comes to even any game running on Havok. Every move you make is real, although many people have complained about the jumps in the whole franchise being kinda "floaty". Well, your character is very light, so he's expected to have a ton of hangtime. It's a problem in certain situations, but it's definitely a problem that you can easily cope with. Physical factors such as weight, length and gravity have an effect on everything you do and everything that's going on around you in LittleBigPlanet. The importance of physics allows the inclusion of some fiendish puzzles and simple logic, and parts of levels where more is indeed merrier.

The mere possibility of up to four players being able to play any level together, either online or locally, is a quite unique one. However, every rose has its thorn. Local players all need to be on the same skill level, or else you're doomed. I know you're thinking of how could a simple game like LittleBigPlanet possibly require a skill level, but falling behind of the group results in that player's death, and it's been proven that some people just don't understand physical laws. They keep jumbling, no matter how much you scold them. And the more you scold them, the angrier they get with you and the game, and they start jumbling on purpose or irreverently slapping your character around (yeah, that's possible too). Playing online is pretty much hopeless. The net is full of idiots, and ironically, not one but two of the Trophies require you to go online and beat a level with four players, one with your friends, and one with strangers. The friend thing I could handle, but there's only one guy besides me that really plays LittleBigPlanet (three who own it), so that's a no-go. I tried with strangers, once. We were playing the first stage in the Canyons, in which you have to bust that one guy out of prison and then dig an underground tunnel by using bombs. Everything was going awesomely until we had busted through the tunnel. This one fucking idiot started dropping the same bombs on everyone, and then blew himself up to effectively end the game - we were like five seconds away from the scoreboard and I believe there would've been at least one player besides me who just wanted that damn Bronze trinket to get it out of the way. This was in early 2010, when you really had to go out of your way to find a proper amount of players on the servers anyway.

I'm also annoyed by the different, optional parts of standard levels that need two to four players to be conquered. Locally, it's a shoutfest. Someone doesn't understand - and don't get me wrong, I myself might not understand what I'm supposed to do or how things work from a physical point of view - and your friend, who thinks the answer is so God damn obvious, berates you and questions your intelligence whenever you don't do everything EXACTLY like he says, or if you jumble the smallest thing up by complete accident. Playing online, it's pretty much impossible to do the parts that are actually puzzles instead of something simple like "here are four buttons, you have four players, so...?", if you don't have someone in your group that can quickly and easily explain the puzzle to others by using the text chat.

Men at work. They come from the land down
under.
If you're wondering what's left after you've conquered the story, take a look at the community from the main menu and you'll find thousands if not hundreds of thousands, of different levels created by users, with the very same items found scattered all around the story. These levels are exactly why people like me keep proclaiming that LittleBigPlanet is a game that never ends. Yeah, I do concur that a lot of the stuff available in the LBP community is total crap. There are empty levels exclusively meant to tally up your "Share" count - which means you'll get a Gold Trophy by beating a set amount of community levels. There's a simple, ugly level called "SPIKES :)"with the entrance, one small stretch of spikes, the scoreboard and a piece of dialogue saying "I know this level sucked, but would you still heart me, plz?! H4H! Heart for heart!" More like fart for fart. Once again, Trophy Whores in action. But, there are those with skill, with so much skill and dedication to their user-generated content, that they could easily work for Media Molecule. There's a wide array of options and you can easily mark (heart) these users as your favourites, then keep playing whatever kind of awesome levels they come up with and forget about everyone else making levels just for the sake of gaining Trophies. They don't even have to be that complicated or fancy: props to user "AlastorsFury" and his awesome Super Happy Sunshine Land, which is the first community level I ever played and still one of the best - it sure as hell ain't fancy, but it is funny in a very dark way, I love it!

The level editor sure ain't for the meek. It's simple and the basic stuff is very easy to learn, but it is difficult and very time consuming to get everything to work and look just the way you want it to - there's so much to take into account when you're building even a simple obstacle of your own. Many different tools can be used for similar purposes, which is why I don't understand why Media Molecule had to clutter up the already too long and complicated list of tools and items with stuff that no user has had any use for to this date.

A screenshot from the Pirates of the Caribbean
DLC, which apparently sold quite poorly
despite its great quality and additional
Trophies.
The story is a (exceptionally entertaining) tutorial on how things work on LittleBigPlanet, and there so that you can have a good time in a very basic platformer, and collect items for yourself to use in the level editor at the same time. It's not that hard - although some levels in the later worlds will most likely have many players pulling their teeth out. The real challenge is in entertaining the rest of the LittleBigPlanet community and building yourself a decent reputation among it with levels of your own, be they any sort of levels. LittleBigPlanet's Trophies, however, are very challenging. If you want to plat the game, you need to forget your fears about online playing and co-op in general, and of course, make good levels - no one wants to heart a Whore, except another one, of course. In addition, you need to survive every level in the game without dying and find each and every prize bubble to plat LittleBigPlanet. With all of its better community levels and Media Molecule's unique style present in the story, and of course the essential DLC that has introduced additional features such as real water (Pirates of the Caribbean Level Kit) and the paint gun (Metal Gear Solid Level Kit), LittleBigPlanet is a game that was built to last.

LittleBigPlanet 2 might've come along to bring even more depth into every aspect of the LittleBigPlanet brand, but the first game is still very entertaining and one of the best games on the PlayStation 3. If you own the black stallion and are yet to experience the unique magic of perhaps its greatest exclusive title, I suggest you get off your ass to the nearest retailer and get the game - it's very cheap nowadays.

Graphics : 9.6
Sound : 8.7
Playability : 9.5
Challenge : 9.0
Overall : 9.4

Trivia

GameRankings: 94.67% (PS3), 94.57% (PS3 [GOTY]), 87.55% (PSP)

The Game of the Year Edition of LittleBigPlanet was released in September, 2009. This version includes a great deal of previously released downloadable content (including the Metal Gear Solid Level Kit), as well as 18 exclusive levels made by players - handpicked by Media Molecule.

maanantai 17. tammikuuta 2011

REVIEW - Heavy Rain (2010)

Genre(s): Interactive / Adventure
Released: 2010
Available on: PS3
Developer(s): Quantic Dream
Publisher(s): Sony Computer Entertainment
Players: 1

Even in these golden times of indifference, someone or something might come along and blow your mind with its originality. You might not see the flesh behind all the hype at first by reading about it, but when you finally try the game, you'll see what the fuss is all about. You're not just playing it or interacting with it, you're living it. These were exactly my feelings after conquering the worst case of rain ever, for the first time. I had to return to it - I had to make things right. What kind of a father simply allows his son to die? Why did I carelessly toy with the lives of those in need of help, why didn't I do everything in my power to save them? Why was I so weak? I don't remember any other game bringing on these kinds of strong emotions. In 2005, Parisian developer Quantic Dream brought us Fahrenheit (a.k.a. Indigo Prophecy), a cult classic of an interactive thriller, which had an incredible story for its greatest strength. Five years later, Quantic Dream returned with another incredibly written interactive thriller... in which each decision you make counts. In which each step you take brings the characters closer to a happier life, or an unceremonious death. Drawing influence from movies like Se7en, Saw, The Silence of the Lambs and Zodiac, but not really any game that came before it, Heavy Rain is an experience every PS3 owner must have at least once in their lifetimes. Forget your skepticism and get to work - the Origami Killer is at large, and he has your son.

How far would you go to save someone you love?

STARRING
Pascal Langdale : Ethan Mars
Jacqui Ainsley / Judi Beecher : Madison Paige
Sam Douglas : Scott Shelby
Leon Ockenden : Norman Jayden
Mike Powers : Lt. Carter Blake
Aurelie Bancilhon : Lauren Winter
Ginnie Watson : Grace Mars / Hospital Nurse / Trendy Woman
Leslie Clack : Charles Kramer
Antony Hickling : Gordi Kramer / Ash / Trendy Man
Taylor Gasman : Jason Mars / John Sheppard

A systematic child-murdering menace calling himself the Origami Killer is at large. Ethan Mars is an architect suffering from depression and periodical blackouts caused by mental trauma; he lost one of his two sons a couple of years back in an unfortunate accident, and when his surviving son becomes the Origami Killer's target, he doesn't hesitate to take part in a deadly game set up by the killer to save his life. Madison Paige is a beautiful, insomniac journalist, who looks to break new ground by covering the killer's story once it unfolds. Norman Jayden is a well-equipped FBI profiler, who suffers from a severe drug problem. Scott Shelby is a compassionate, middle-aged private detective hired by the victims' relatives to conduct very unofficial and very dangerous research on all of the Origami Killer's movements. What happens when these four unique individuals cross paths?

I went into Heavy Rain with conflicted emotions. I was not quite sure how a movie would feel like as a game. I've played many games that have practically been movies instead of games, but Heavy Rain is at a whole new level on that front. IGN crowned Heavy Rain 2010's best horror game on the PS3, and not only that, but the PS3 game of the year altogether. That's quite a feat, considering that Red Dead Redemption and if you want exclusives, God of War III, came out around the same time. Also, Finland's top video game magazine at the moment had Heavy Rain on their list of the top 100 video games of ALL TIME - and it surpassed many bonafide video game classics, at that. Now I'm not into critical hype like a dog - if I was, I would probably try every racing and FPS game there is, and hate them. And people would look at me strangely when I blast out my opinion. Heavy Rain, though, is such a different game that I had to borrow it as soon as I had the chance. I had to see how it worked. Now this kind of thesis has been thrown around a lot, but it has to be said: you won't get Heavy Rain and its awesomeness, if you haven't tried it yourself.

Ethan might seem a little careless, but he's a
great dad. He really is. How great? He'll soon
show you.
The graphics are amazing at the very least when it comes to facial modelling and human movement. The movement in Heavy Rain was more or less recorded in a real studio, with real actors performing each character's every move, and of course, giving them their voices. There are very few late additions with CGI, nearly everything you see was real at some point of development. Even during the most free form of gameplay - walking around and going through your character's thoughts - you'll have to remind yourself that you're playing a game and not watching a feature film, from time to time. Screenshots can't possibly capture the game's realism.

The score's composed by the Parisian Normand Corbeil, but most of the time it feels like Bernard Herrmann has risen from his grave and come to give us one last Hitchcock soundtrack he never had time to complete. This collection of precise and menacing panic music's straight from the golden age of psychological thrillers, with a modern touch, of course.

The voice acting is awesome, there are a few bad apples though - like a bunch of British and French actors selling themselves as Americans, and more or less failing. Take Norman Jayden, for example. He's basically one of my favourite characters in the game, but I can't take a guy, that can't even pronounce his name like an American would, 100% seriously ("NAHMAN"). I'll give him props for trying to keep his accent in control, but every time the character raises his voice the slightest bit, I can't help but snicker. His voice actor's British, by the way. If you want some altogether bad acting, take the character of Gordi Kramer. This guy's supposed to be an American, but it's clear as day that the actor's French! He can't even pronounce "Origami" right. What's "origarmi"? Luckily there aren't many scenes with this dude around, but actually the voice actor does the voice of a cop, too. He sounded the same, I had to check it up... and it was true. Before wrapping this up, I have to riddle you some. What's worse than a French voice actor portraying an American? The answer: a French CHILD voice actor portraying an American. 'Nuff said. Listen for yourself.

Gameplay in Heavy Rain is wholly based on Quick Time Events and utilizing the motion detecting properties of the Sixaxis controller. You can walk around quite normally, if you count R2 as the walking button as being normal, but everything else is done according to icons appearing on the screen. There are many different types of icons, and the first thing you need to do is figure out the meaning of each. The first chapter works as a tutorial, during which you have the opportunity to try all different sequences with no danger involved. A quick and precise "fighting" sequence, free sequences in which you are in total control of the speed of your actions, sequences in which you have to be extra careful and radically slow down your movement, and a couple which demand physical power - they usually involve pressing down several buttons at once until the game allows you to let go, or mashing a certain button for a given time.

Who needs organizing skills when you've got
glasses like Norman's? ...Wonder if they have
x-ray vision, too?
The character's stress level has an effect on both his actions and dialogue options. If they're scared out of their socks, the timing for each action is more precise and unforgiving, and for the player, it's sometimes intentionally hard to see the options at hand; the icons are blurred and shaky. If you're not fast enough to choose a correct dialogue option, one is chosen at random. If you're not fast enough to perform an action, well... in the worst case you die. It's not like punishment for one mistake is death, though - you are usually allowed to make a few. If the characters are completely calm and not in a stressing situation, there usually is no time limit to dialogue or action at all.

Although it's more or less just a tutorial as far as gameplay goes - you can't really manipulate the events of the game just yet - the prologue to Heavy Rain is possibly the most depressive introduction to any game, ever. But, it's also instantly captivating. You've seen many games starting off with your character waking up from a bed on a seemingly ordinary day, but I believe you haven't seen that many games that continue with that character walking buck naked into the shower, shaving, putting on his clothes, enjoying a cup of coffee, listening to some music, watching TV, doing some work in his workshop, taking a nap in the garden, all the while waiting for his wife and children to come home. From the very start, although the credits haven't even turned up yet, you just know this game is going to be an experience like no other. It offers up cinematic climaxes from the very beginning; the better acting in this game is so real, that when that introduction came to its tragic end, I actually had to fight tears. It's clever how the developers based the game on the idea of being able to manipulate every event in the game, but started the game with a tragic event that simply couldn't be prevented. It's like: happy family -> devastating tragedy -> depression and trauma -> thoughts of "why couldn't I do anything?". The developers' answer: well, from now on you can, you won't ever have to witness something like that again. It's up to you. Welcome to Heavy Rain.

Although Heavy Rain isn't exactly a horror game, I can safely say I've never felt as much fear and anxiety playing anything such as the fear and anxiety I feel driving five miles against traffic in pouring rain, shaking the Sixaxis controller and quickly pressing each button indicated, desperately trying to keep myself alive and passing the test, getting me one step closer to finding my son. Or being forced to cut off the tip of one of my fingers to pass another test. Or fighting a mad surgeon as the definite underdog when he's aiming to drive a power drill through my skull. You see, I'm not talking about the characters, I'm talking about myself. The characters are so real, that as narrow minded as you might be towards role-playing, you'll find yourself in their boots if you have any sense for life. A moment ago, you were at home making an omelet. Now you're in the bottom of a lake, strapped to the steering wheel of your car by your wrists, with an unconscious woman by your side. Whatcha gonna do? Are you gonna give in? Will you attempt to save yourself? How about your companion, do you care for her enough to attempt to save her as well? Heavy Rain offers you an endless array of choices. What choices would you make as a person? Once again, how far are you willing to go to save someone you love?

Scott Shelby: "How to stop a robbery in 24-cam".
"Someone you love" doesn't just mean Ethan basically butchering himself to save his son, but it also means your relationship with the characters. You'll grow to love them, and you'd do anything to keep them alive. That's right, if they die - they DIE. There's no coming back. They simply die, and are never seen again. If all of the playable characters die because of your mistakes, congratulations. You've "beaten" the game. Not the most graceful completion, but that's just the way it is - the Origami Killer still lives and roams free, and the 10-year old, innocent little Shaun Mars will become his ninth victim. Think about it. It's hard to get the best possible ending, but it's totally worth fighting for, considering how depressing an ending to this game can be at its very worst. Since it's mostly an interactive movie, Heavy Rain lives on its main characters. Here they are.

Ethan Mars is by all means the main character of the game, a classic Saw victim. The Origami Killer is considered to target children, but actually he doesn't kill them directly. Actually, he doesn't kill anyone directly, but fathers are much closer to being his real targets. He holds the children captive, and lures their fathers to play his games, which would spell death for any normal human being - you'd have to be quite the dedicated daddy to survive what he calls "trials". Failure most likely results in the deaths of both father and son. Ethan goes through some incredible shit throughout the game. Losing his son, separating from his wife and not being able to get any work done are child's play compared to what the Origami Killer puts him through. Most of the gameplay in Ethan's case is based on his trials, which all differ from each other. Ethan's gameplay is the most balanced of them all, you have to learn every trick in the game to keep him alive throughout the ordeal.

Norman Jayden is a very efficient crime scene investigator that has these cool VR sunglasses. He's an amazing profiler with a good sense of justice and formidable hand-to-hand combat skills, but he also has a very difficult drug problem, which he is trying to shake off throughout the game. The gameplay as Norman starts off very smoothly: most of the time during the first half of the game you gather evidence, then sit in the office and browse through it all, interrogate people and do stuff which office rats usually do, but later on Norman heads to the field and gets into trouble with an array of shady characters. What makes his combat sequences harder than most is, of course, his little problem with dope. Detox can be a fateful thing...

Scott Shelby is simply one of the best characters in video game history. The first time we see him, we go all "what the hell?". It's not often that a hero is a middle-aged, fat private detective. The more Scott speaks and the more he does, we grow to love him. He's so adorable, and so gentle, and still one tough, not to mention clever and diverse son of a bitch when it comes to rescuing damsels in distress, kicking ass for the fun of it, or simply taking care of a baby. Yeah, you read right. Scott is the kind of guy we all want to be... or so it seems. He also has the one of the most frightening cases of character development in video game history. But that, you'll have to see for yourself.

I'll gladly get myself in more trouble if I keep
getting help from nurses who look like that!
Finally, we have Madison Paige. The only female character of the main cast is usually promoted as the main character of the game, but to me, she's just extra support and here to provide us with potentially several moments of female frontal nudity. Her gameplay sequences are, in my opinion, the dullest in the game. She's more of a talker than a doer, but there are a few optional sequences that have her kicking ass like the rest of them. On my second playthrough, I actually yawned through Mad's chapters until I figured to do some crucial things differently, and ended up in quite tight spots, which I thoroughly enjoyed even more than being able to see a CGI model of how good the insanely hot Jacqui Ainsley looks naked. And that's a lot.

Having clashed through Heavy Rain twice, and as a dedicated fan of psychological thrillers and horror movies, I must point out a few negatives, trying not to spoil anything - since Heavy Rain is one game that even I dare not to spoil. The story is incredibly strong and I don't remember experiencing this kind of thick atmosphere in any game that came before Heavy Rain, but the more the plot thickens, the more it's punched full of holes. As a result, the key to the mystery is a real letdown. I'm a huge fan of Twin Peaks, and I've read David Lynch's autobiography several times. The network forced him to reveal the identity of Laura Palmer's murderer, which he never wanted to do. He said people love the mystery. They might want the answer, but it's bound to be a disappointment. That's exactly the case when it comes to Heavy Rain - the mystery is what counts. The murderer's identity is the same across all endings - it's just the things you do and the decisions you make that define whether you'll catch him or not - and I must say, I'm not quite pleased. With more precision and a keener eye for details, the grand revelation would've been phenomenal. Apart from impossible QTE  combinations that feel like playing Twister with your fingers, the gaping plotholes and the several errors in details (ie. numbers) are by far the only things stirring up this unique gameplay experience.

Like I already said, Heavy Rain is not a difficult game to beat. What is hard, or a little time consuming at least, is acquiring the 57 Trophies that come with it - which, to my knowledge, is the largest amount of base Trophies in any retail game. Nearly every chapter has a Trophy or two for certain feats completed within it, such as being able to negotiate with a robber instead of having to beat the shit out of him, being a cool but strict dad to your son, and being able to execute lengthy and complexed QTE sequences without making any mistakes. Most of the Trophies are hidden, since they're spoilers in themselves. What? Did you ask how much a movie has replay value? Well, let's see. The game has over 15 endings for different characters that count towards the fabled All Endings Trophy. That's a start. You'd also have to consider that at its best, Heavy Rain offers you a dozen different choices in a single situation or environment. It might seem wholly linear, but I'd not be too amazed if you found some small, new thing to do, or an extra piece of dialogue from the game on the sixth or seventh playthrough, or chapter select if you're feeling lazy.

Yep, I can't deny it: Heavy Rain is amazing. I wouldn't go calling it the Sony game of the decade, and not even the PS3 game of 2010, but it's the most unique and artful retail game I've played since God knows when. It's the kind of game that easily leads you to glue yourself to the couch and do mental battle with the sleep fairies until it's all done - you just can't rest before solving the mystery, as disappointing as the result might turn out. I said "might", 'cause I know my picky nature when it comes to psychological thrillers.

Graphics : 9.7
Sound : 9.0
Gameplay : 8.9
Challenge : 8.8
Overall : 9.0

Trivia

GameRankings: 89.30%

The game took four years to complete, and originally, it was supposed to be a multi-platform title. After witnessing the crowd's positive reaction towards a technical demo of the game for the PS3 at E3 2006, Quantic Dream sold Sony Computer Entertainment exclusive rights to the title.

Only a few months into its release, Heavy Rain was re-released with PlayStation Move compatibility. The original version of the game got a v2.00 patch at the same time, also with Move compatibility.

A wide array of scenes was deleted from the final product, especially scenes that would've brought more depth into Madison's character, which is described "shallow" by many critics. In the final version of the game, it's never explained why she's insomniac - a deleted scene would've explained that she suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder, caused by her past as a war correspondent in Iraq.

Playable scenes were cut out which would've shown what Ethan goes through during his blackouts. However, the developers thought these scenes had a supernatural tone they didn't want to be a part of the story.

Lucas Kane's apartment from Quantic Dream's previous game Fahrenheit is in one of the possible endings. It's hinted that the games' events take place in the same universe.

Although several open endings and one of Madison's good endings are vague groundwork for a sequel, director David Cage has said he's not the "sequel type", so there will probably never be a direct sequel to Heavy Rain.