REVIEW - Heavy Rain (2010)

Genre(s): Interactive / Adventure
Released: 2010
Available on: PS3
Developer(s): Quantic Dream
Publisher(s): Sony Computer Entertainment
Players: 1

Even in these golden times of indifference, someone or something might come along and blow your mind with its originality. You might not see the flesh behind all the hype at first by reading about it, but when you finally try the game, you'll see what the fuss is all about. You're not just playing it or interacting with it, you're living it. These were exactly my feelings after conquering the worst case of rain ever, for the first time. I had to return to it - I had to make things right. What kind of a father simply allows his son to die? Why did I carelessly toy with the lives of those in need of help, why didn't I do everything in my power to save them? Why was I so weak? I don't remember any other game bringing on these kinds of strong emotions. In 2005, Parisian developer Quantic Dream brought us Fahrenheit (a.k.a. Indigo Prophecy), a cult classic of an interactive thriller, which had an incredible story for its greatest strength. Five years later, Quantic Dream returned with another incredibly written interactive thriller... in which each decision you make counts. In which each step you take brings the characters closer to a happier life, or an unceremonious death. Drawing influence from movies like Se7en, Saw, The Silence of the Lambs and Zodiac, but not really any game that came before it, Heavy Rain is an experience every PS3 owner must have at least once in their lifetimes. Forget your skepticism and get to work - the Origami Killer is at large, and he has your son.

How far would you go to save someone you love?

STARRING
Pascal Langdale : Ethan Mars
Jacqui Ainsley / Judi Beecher : Madison Paige
Sam Douglas : Scott Shelby
Leon Ockenden : Norman Jayden
Mike Powers : Lt. Carter Blake
Aurelie Bancilhon : Lauren Winter
Ginnie Watson : Grace Mars / Hospital Nurse / Trendy Woman
Leslie Clack : Charles Kramer
Antony Hickling : Gordi Kramer / Ash / Trendy Man
Taylor Gasman : Jason Mars / John Sheppard

A systematic child-murdering menace calling himself the Origami Killer is at large. Ethan Mars is an architect suffering from depression and periodical blackouts caused by mental trauma; he lost one of his two sons a couple of years back in an unfortunate accident, and when his surviving son becomes the Origami Killer's target, he doesn't hesitate to take part in a deadly game set up by the killer to save his life. Madison Paige is a beautiful, insomniac journalist, who looks to break new ground by covering the killer's story once it unfolds. Norman Jayden is a well-equipped FBI profiler, who suffers from a severe drug problem. Scott Shelby is a compassionate, middle-aged private detective hired by the victims' relatives to conduct very unofficial and very dangerous research on all of the Origami Killer's movements. What happens when these four unique individuals cross paths?

I went into Heavy Rain with conflicted emotions. I was not quite sure how a movie would feel like as a game. I've played many games that have practically been movies instead of games, but Heavy Rain is at a whole new level on that front. IGN crowned Heavy Rain 2010's best horror game on the PS3, and not only that, but the PS3 game of the year altogether. That's quite a feat, considering that Red Dead Redemption and if you want exclusives, God of War III, came out around the same time. Also, Finland's top video game magazine at the moment had Heavy Rain on their list of the top 100 video games of ALL TIME - and it surpassed many bonafide video game classics, at that. Now I'm not into critical hype like a dog - if I was, I would probably try every racing and FPS game there is, and hate them. And people would look at me strangely when I blast out my opinion. Heavy Rain, though, is such a different game that I had to borrow it as soon as I had the chance. I had to see how it worked. Now this kind of thesis has been thrown around a lot, but it has to be said: you won't get Heavy Rain and its awesomeness, if you haven't tried it yourself.

Ethan might seem a little careless, but he's a
great dad. He really is. How great? He'll soon
show you.

The graphics are amazing at the very least when it comes to facial modelling and human movement. The movement in Heavy Rain was more or less recorded in a real studio, with real actors performing each character's every move, and of course, giving them their voices. There are very few late additions with CGI, nearly everything you see was real at some point of development. Even during the most free form of gameplay - walking around and going through your character's thoughts - you'll have to remind yourself that you're playing a game and not watching a feature film, from time to time. Screenshots can't possibly capture the game's realism.

The score's composed by the Parisian Normand Corbeil, but most of the time it feels like Bernard Herrmann has risen from his grave and come to give us one last Hitchcock soundtrack he never had time to complete. This collection of precise and menacing panic music's straight from the golden age of psychological thrillers, with a modern touch, of course.

The voice acting is awesome, there are a few bad apples though - like a bunch of British and French actors selling themselves as Americans, and more or less failing. Take Norman Jayden, for example. He's basically one of my favourite characters in the game, but I can't take a guy, that can't even pronounce his name like an American would, 100% seriously ("NAHMAN"). I'll give him props for trying to keep his accent in control, but every time the character raises his voice the slightest bit, I can't help but snicker. His voice actor's British, by the way. If you want some altogether bad acting, take the character of Gordi Kramer. This guy's supposed to be an American, but it's clear as day that the actor's French! He can't even pronounce "Origami" right. What's "origarmi"? Luckily there aren't many scenes with this dude around, but actually the voice actor does the voice of a cop, too. He sounded the same, I had to check it up... and it was true. Before wrapping this up, I have to riddle you some. What's worse than a French voice actor portraying an American? The answer: a French CHILD voice actor portraying an American. 'Nuff said. Listen for yourself.

Gameplay in Heavy Rain is wholly based on Quick Time Events and utilizing the motion detecting properties of the Sixaxis controller. You can walk around quite normally, if you count R2 as the walking button as being normal, but everything else is done according to icons appearing on the screen. There are many different types of icons, and the first thing you need to do is figure out the meaning of each. The first chapter works as a tutorial, during which you have the opportunity to try all different sequences with no danger involved. A quick and precise "fighting" sequence, free sequences in which you are in total control of the speed of your actions, sequences in which you have to be extra careful and radically slow down your movement, and a couple which demand physical power - they usually involve pressing down several buttons at once until the game allows you to let go, or mashing a certain button for a given time.

Who needs organizing skills when you've got
glasses like Norman's? ...Wonder if they have
x-ray vision, too?

The character's stress level has an effect on both his actions and dialogue options. If they're scared out of their socks, the timing for each action is more precise and unforgiving, and for the player, it's sometimes intentionally hard to see the options at hand; the icons are blurred and shaky. If you're not fast enough to choose a correct dialogue option, one is chosen at random. If you're not fast enough to perform an action, well... in the worst case you die. It's not like punishment for one mistake is death, though - you are usually allowed to make a few. If the characters are completely calm and not in a stressing situation, there usually is no time limit to dialogue or action at all.

Although it's more or less just a tutorial as far as gameplay goes - you can't really manipulate the events of the game just yet - the prologue to Heavy Rain is possibly the most depressive introduction to any game, ever. But, it's also instantly captivating. You've seen many games starting off with your character waking up from a bed on a seemingly ordinary day, but I believe you haven't seen that many games that continue with that character walking buck naked into the shower, shaving, putting on his clothes, enjoying a cup of coffee, listening to some music, watching TV, doing some work in his workshop, taking a nap in the garden, all the while waiting for his wife and children to come home. From the very start, although the credits haven't even turned up yet, you just know this game is going to be an experience like no other. It offers up cinematic climaxes from the very beginning; the better acting in this game is so real, that when that introduction came to its tragic end, I actually had to fight tears. It's clever how the developers based the game on the idea of being able to manipulate every event in the game, but started the game with a tragic event that simply couldn't be prevented. It's like: happy family -> devastating tragedy -> depression and trauma -> thoughts of "why couldn't I do anything?". The developers' answer: well, from now on you can, you won't ever have to witness something like that again. It's up to you. Welcome to Heavy Rain.

Although Heavy Rain isn't exactly a horror game, I can safely say I've never felt as much fear and anxiety playing anything such as the fear and anxiety I feel driving five miles against traffic in pouring rain, shaking the Sixaxis controller and quickly pressing each button indicated, desperately trying to keep myself alive and passing the test, getting me one step closer to finding my son. Or being forced to cut off the tip of one of my fingers to pass another test. Or fighting a mad surgeon as the definite underdog when he's aiming to drive a power drill through my skull. You see, I'm not talking about the characters, I'm talking about myself. The characters are so real, that as narrow minded as you might be towards role-playing, you'll find yourself in their boots if you have any sense for life. A moment ago, you were at home making an omelet. Now you're in the bottom of a lake, strapped to the steering wheel of your car by your wrists, with an unconscious woman by your side. Whatcha gonna do? Are you gonna give in? Will you attempt to save yourself? How about your companion, do you care for her enough to attempt to save her as well? Heavy Rain offers you an endless array of choices. What choices would you make as a person? Once again, how far are you willing to go to save someone you love?

Scott Shelby: "How to stop a robbery in 24-cam".

"Someone you love" doesn't just mean Ethan basically butchering himself to save his son, but it also means your relationship with the characters. You'll grow to love them, and you'd do anything to keep them alive. That's right, if they die - they DIE. There's no coming back. They simply die, and are never seen again. If all of the playable characters die because of your mistakes, congratulations. You've "beaten" the game. Not the most graceful completion, but that's just the way it is - the Origami Killer still lives and roams free, and the 10-year old, innocent little Shaun Mars will become his ninth victim. Think about it. It's hard to get the best possible ending, but it's totally worth fighting for, considering how depressing an ending to this game can be at its very worst. Since it's mostly an interactive movie, Heavy Rain lives on its main characters. Here they are.

Ethan Mars is by all means the main character of the game, a classic Saw victim. The Origami Killer is considered to target children, but actually he doesn't kill them directly. Actually, he doesn't kill anyone directly, but fathers are much closer to being his real targets. He holds the children captive, and lures their fathers to play his games, which would spell death for any normal human being - you'd have to be quite the dedicated daddy to survive what he calls "trials". Failure most likely results in the deaths of both father and son. Ethan goes through some incredible shit throughout the game. Losing his son, separating from his wife and not being able to get any work done are child's play compared to what the Origami Killer puts him through. Most of the gameplay in Ethan's case is based on his trials, which all differ from each other. Ethan's gameplay is the most balanced of them all, you have to learn every trick in the game to keep him alive throughout the ordeal.

Norman Jayden is a very efficient crime scene investigator that has these cool VR sunglasses. He's an amazing profiler with a good sense of justice and formidable hand-to-hand combat skills, but he also has a very difficult drug problem, which he is trying to shake off throughout the game. The gameplay as Norman starts off very smoothly: most of the time during the first half of the game you gather evidence, then sit in the office and browse through it all, interrogate people and do stuff which office rats usually do, but later on Norman heads to the field and gets into trouble with an array of shady characters. What makes his combat sequences harder than most is, of course, his little problem with dope. Detox can be a fateful thing...

Scott Shelby is simply one of the best characters in video game history. The first time we see him, we go all "what the hell?". It's not often that a hero is a middle-aged, fat private detective. The more Scott speaks and the more he does, we grow to love him. He's so adorable, and so gentle, and still one tough, not to mention clever and diverse son of a bitch when it comes to rescuing damsels in distress, kicking ass for the fun of it, or simply taking care of a baby. Yeah, you read right. Scott is the kind of guy we all want to be... or so it seems. He also has the one of the most frightening cases of character development in video game history. But that, you'll have to see for yourself.

I'll gladly get myself in more trouble if I keep
getting help from nurses who look like that!

Finally, we have Madison Paige. The only female character of the main cast is usually promoted as the main character of the game, but to me, she's just extra support and here to provide us with potentially several moments of female frontal nudity. Her gameplay sequences are, in my opinion, the dullest in the game. She's more of a talker than a doer, but there are a few optional sequences that have her kicking ass like the rest of them. On my second playthrough, I actually yawned through Mad's chapters until I figured to do some crucial things differently, and ended up in quite tight spots, which I thoroughly enjoyed even more than being able to see a CGI model of how good the insanely hot Jacqui Ainsley looks naked. And that's a lot.

Having clashed through Heavy Rain twice, and as a dedicated fan of psychological thrillers and horror movies, I must point out a few negatives, trying not to spoil anything - since Heavy Rain is one game that even I dare not to spoil. The story is incredibly strong and I don't remember experiencing this kind of thick atmosphere in any game that came before Heavy Rain, but the more the plot thickens, the more it's punched full of holes. As a result, the key to the mystery is a real letdown. I'm a huge fan of Twin Peaks, and I've read David Lynch's autobiography several times. The network forced him to reveal the identity of Laura Palmer's murderer, which he never wanted to do. He said people love the mystery. They might want the answer, but it's bound to be a disappointment. That's exactly the case when it comes to Heavy Rain - the mystery is what counts. The murderer's identity is the same across all endings - it's just the things you do and the decisions you make that define whether you'll catch him or not - and I must say, I'm not quite pleased. With more precision and a keener eye for details, the grand revelation would've been phenomenal. Apart from impossible QTE  combinations that feel like playing Twister with your fingers, the gaping plotholes and the several errors in details (ie. numbers) are by far the only things stirring up this unique gameplay experience.

Like I already said, Heavy Rain is not a difficult game to beat. What is hard, or a little time consuming at least, is acquiring the 57 Trophies that come with it - which, to my knowledge, is the largest amount of base Trophies in any retail game. Nearly every chapter has a Trophy or two for certain feats completed within it, such as being able to negotiate with a robber instead of having to beat the shit out of him, being a cool but strict dad to your son, and being able to execute lengthy and complexed QTE sequences without making any mistakes. Most of the Trophies are hidden, since they're spoilers in themselves. What? Did you ask how much a movie has replay value? Well, let's see. The game has over 15 endings for different characters that count towards the fabled All Endings Trophy. That's a start. You'd also have to consider that at its best, Heavy Rain offers you a dozen different choices in a single situation or environment. It might seem wholly linear, but I'd not be too amazed if you found some small, new thing to do, or an extra piece of dialogue from the game on the sixth or seventh playthrough, or chapter select if you're feeling lazy.

Yep, I can't deny it: Heavy Rain is amazing. I wouldn't go calling it the Sony game of the decade, and not even the PS3 game of 2010, but it's the most unique and artful retail game I've played since God knows when. It's the kind of game that easily leads you to glue yourself to the couch and do mental battle with the sleep fairies until it's all done - you just can't rest before solving the mystery, as disappointing as the result might turn out. I said "might", 'cause I know my picky nature when it comes to psychological thrillers.

Graphics : 9.7
Sound : 9.0
Gameplay : 8.9
Challenge : 8.8
Overall : 9.0

Trivia

GameRankings: 89.30%

The game took four years to complete, and originally, it was supposed to be a multi-platform title. After witnessing the crowd's positive reaction towards a technical demo of the game for the PS3 at E3 2006, Quantic Dream sold Sony Computer Entertainment exclusive rights to the title.

Only a few months into its release, Heavy Rain was re-released with PlayStation Move compatibility. The original version of the game got a v2.00 patch at the same time, also with Move compatibility.

A wide array of scenes was deleted from the final product, especially scenes that would've brought more depth into Madison's character, which is described "shallow" by many critics. In the final version of the game, it's never explained why she's insomniac - a deleted scene would've explained that she suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder, caused by her past as a war correspondent in Iraq.

Playable scenes were cut out which would've shown what Ethan goes through during his blackouts. However, the developers thought these scenes had a supernatural tone they didn't want to be a part of the story.

Lucas Kane's apartment from Quantic Dream's previous game Fahrenheit is in one of the possible endings. It's hinted that the games' events take place in the same universe.

Although several open endings and one of Madison's good endings are vague groundwork for a sequel, director David Cage has said he's not the "sequel type", so there will probably never be a direct sequel to Heavy Rain.

REVIEW - God of War III (2010)

Genre(s): Action
Released: 2010
Available on: PS3
Developer(s): SCE Santa Monica Studio
Publisher(s): Sony Computer Entertainment
Player(s): 1

A pre-determined end to a gamer's favourite is always a tough job to handle. Some people think every game should leave room for a sequel. Nowadays, it doesn't really matter if they don't. The Metal Gear series ended with Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots, but still, we got another prequel in Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker, and now we've got the spin-off Metal Gear Solid Rising coming up. God of War II made it very clear that the major part of the God of War series would be a trilogy. Not long after God of War III's release, the PSP title God of War: Ghost of Sparta was announced, but God of War III still remained the final game in all our hearts, just as Metal Gear Solid 4 before it - it doesn't matter how good the handheld games are in quality, it's the stories we've been following on the big consoles ever since these franchises were conceived that really matter. Metal Gear was epic, but with the release of God of War and God of War II, the meaning of the word changed completely. What happens when we shift gears to the PS3 and take on God of War III? We've got the gods of Olympus on this side, ancient titans on that side, and a deranged, vengeful mortal we most love to hate in the between. Make no mistake, this is one epic battle you won't soon be forgetting.

In the end, there will be only chaos

STARRING
TC Carson : Kratos
Corey Burton : Zeus
Susan Blakeslee : Gaia
Erin Torpey : Athena
Natalie Lander : Pandora
Rip Torn : Hephaestus
April Stewart : Aphrodite
George Ball : Cronos
Malcolm McDowell : Daedalus
Clancy Brown : Hades

Kratos' vengeance against Zeus is nearing completion, as he leads the titans to tear down the sacred Mount Olympus. Always one step ahead, Zeus devises a counterattack, which prompts Gaia to abandon Kratos and allow him to die, on the behalf of her personal issues with the gods. Enraged but practically helpless, Kratos meets an old friend in the underworld, who surprisingly shares Kratos' burning desire to destroy Olympus. Armed with a new set of blades and a will strong enough to break through grey stone, Kratos once again cheats death to exact revenge on all those who have betrayed him, including the selfish titans - being fully aware that his actions have the potential of bringing upon the end of the world.

A video game has never been - and I must say I don't believe a video game will ever be - as poetically epic as God of War III. In 2005, we got this awesome, gruesomely violent video game called God of War, starring a suicidal maniac who was hired by the good gods of Olympus to kill their renegade brother Ares. Kratos was never a likeable being. He didn't save damsels in distress. If they got in his way, he let them out of their misery. If innocent blood had to be spilt in order for Kratos to make progress, he did it without any hesitation. Why? Because in his dark past as a servant of Ares, he had murdered his wife and child. The images of their corpses were forever burnt into his deranged mind. To rid HIMSELF (and I wrote that in caps with a purpose) of his visions and nightmares he had brought upon HIMSELF (again), he became a champion of the gods. To kill Ares was supposedly his final duty - after accomplishing this seemingly impossible task, Kratos was promised to be released of his nightmares. Gods have the power to do that, right? Wrong. The gods played with Kratos and dropped him a loophole bombshell: they promised to forgive him for his sins, not rid him of his nightmares. Wow. What a practical reward to a mortal for killing a god. This is exactly what Kratos thought when he decided to take his own life. The gods, however, could not even let a man commit suicide in peace. By the gods' decree, Kratos ascended to Mount Olympus as the successor of Ares, the new god of war.

The hand that rocks this cradle.

In God of War II, Kratos had become even worse than an arrogant, murderous mortal - he had become an arrogant, murderous god. His fellow gods on Olympus knew his weaknesses, most of all Zeus, who orchestrated a clever betrayal on Kratos. He drained him of all his godly powers and killed him. This time, there was no escaping death for Kratos. Zeus saw to that - but he wasn't able to foresee an intervention by the titans, the fathers and mothers of the gods, once betrayed by their kin and forever doomed as slaves. Gaia, the leader of the titans, offered Kratos another chance at life, if he would aid the titans in conquering Mount Olympus. What Kratos needed to do was travel back in time, first to overwrite his untimely death, and then get the army of titans from a time they still were able to fight. Kratos managed all of this, but could not kill Zeus. Just as he was getting ready to give Zeus one final blow, his only ally on Olympus - but also the daughter of Zeus - Athena, took the final cut for her father. During her dying speech, Athena told Kratos that Zeus is his father. Oooh, The Empire Strikes Back! Knowing this, Kratos became even more pissed. He went back in time as he promised to gather the army of titans, and led an attack against Olympus. And that, my friends, is exactly where God of War II ends and God of War III begins.

Kratos kind of redeems himself here. He's not quite the bad-ass we've grown accustomed to. He tones down a little as far as his arrogance is concerned, and he actually shows compassion in this game... as long as he's not provoked. Yeah, but really, Kratos actually thinks of some other LIVING people besides himself during the game - imagine that. Well, with Kratos' character in God of War II the developers pretty much reached the bottom in human nature, so it's only fitting for him to be a little more likeable than ever before. But that's a little, mind you. The stuff he does in this game... everything he did before with the purpose of shedding blood was child's play. I'm serious, even I felt nauseated by some of the violence. That's never happened before! Oh yeah, and if you're wondering if Kratos is still every bit as immoral as he was before despite an occasional step into his soft zone: how does rescuing a beautiful maiden, just to make her body a human wedge to jam a loose gate mechanism, sound? Or killing a man who has just lost his home and family in a fire, just because he's in your way? Or systematically destroying Greece just because YOU don't come along with the gods, ultimately because of a crime YOU committed? Yeah, this is God of War III, baby. It's Kratos vs. the gods vs. the titans in a triple threat match to the death.

On the surface, God of War III looks like an apple from the same tree as the God of War Collection on the PS3. There's not much real differences. However, even the cutscenes look perfect this time around. All aspects of the graphical display are not perfect - the facial modelling, for example, is not quite what is usually expected from the PS3 in this day and age. However, before you go judging the game any further, just look at it - FEEL it. Imagine how long it takes from any developer to create a dynamic playfield which is actually the body of a colossal titan scaling a mountain, and do it well. Also imagine creating a boss fight with a dozen different phases, in which your adversary's full form wouldn't fit a total of four or five TV screens. Believe me, God of War III looks magnificent. Screw the occasional dorky faces, and behold all this Greek beauty and the size of everything.

The music's the same as always, just a tad more haunting, diverse, and even more interesting than before, perhaps. The voiceover work is absolutely fabulous and in this sense, the first two games are completely outdone. However, almost everyone has a different voice actor than before, which is a little distracting - most of these people were part of the cast in the PSP handheld God of War: Chains of Olympus, which is referred to a lot during the game. A bit too much in fact, for people who've not played the game - for example, me. TC Carson and Corey Burton are here to represent as the central characters of the game, while Erin Torpey replaces Carole Ruggier as Athena, and Susan Blakeslee (the Oracle of Athens in the first game) replaces Linda Hunt as Gaia. Strangely enough, Hunt's still the narrator. Horror legend Adrienne Barbeau nails it as Hera, Rip Torn himself makes his presence very known as the ill-fated smith god Hephaestus, and Clancy Brown does his very best Kurgan schtick as the lord of the underworld, replacing Nolan North. Malcolm McDowell, who has clearly taken a liking to voiceover work, rocks as the inventor Daedalus. So it's a starry night on Olympus... you want more? Well, as the ultimate tribute of all time, Kevin motherfuckin' Sorbo makes a special voiceover appearance as the character he made famous years ago, Hercules, and everyone's least favourite hobbit Elijah Wood does an uncredited cameo, saying perhaps one or two lines during the game. Before, it was all about Kratos. This game is much more character-driven than any other God of War title. And it's a good ride... storywise, the best God of War (thus far, I guess). As a game, it's of the guaranteed God of War quality. Not better, or any worse than its predecessors.

No guts, no glory - right, General?

The game begins, just like any other title in the series, with a nearly hour-long intro sequence, during which all of Kratos' stats from God of War II are maintained. Not all of his abilities, though - for example, he can only use one sort of magic. The basic control scheme hasn't changed much, but the abilities themselves have, and as you will soon discover, mana use is very different this time around. It isn't your concern during the intro, though. You will have to face two bosses during the intro, the first one's a persistent little cuss that appears to disrupt your progress every now and then, before giving you way to the big cheese. This is where you will first discover a taste of just how violent this game is going to be. There are no identical boss fights in the game. The QTE scheme has changed so that with a little practice, you can actually keep up with what's happening - you just need to see which side of the screen the button appears, to be able to deduce which button you are supposed to hit. This is really cool, mostly due to the fact that you absolutely don't want to miss Kratos' violent ways. Whether it's using your bare hands to dig out someone's eyeballs or mauling a guy's face until there's no face left, or painfully provoking a titan by pulling out their acre-sized fingernail, or using all of your brute strength to rip a guy's head off his shoulders while he's still alive and screaming... there's nothing missing from Kratos' repertoire. As tradition goes, there's always time for little Kratos to do a job as well. The classic sex minigame in God of War III could almost be categorized as a boss fight! It's completely optional, yet rewarding... in many a sense. Believe you me, there will be blood. And boobs.

In the end, Kratos will have eight different weapons at his disposal, three of which are categorized as special items. There's a set of boots which allow you to run along certain walls, an item which is kind of a divine flashlight to light up dark areas as well as reveal secrets, and an otherwise typical bow, but equipped a charge attack that can light enemies on fire. These special items have their own yellow meter, which is maxed out with a new set of collectables dubbed the Minotaur Horns.

All the different magic attacks are connected to the weapons. The Blades of Exile are most certainly the choice weapons for God of War veterans. With these, Kratos may summon the wandering souls of the Spartan army to deliver a crushing counterattack to enemies. Claws of Hades are similar to the Blades, but harder to use for direct action. With these, Kratos can summon souls of different enemies to deliver single attacks against his adversaries. The Nemean Cestus is the shite - it's a set of two gigantic gauntlets which do devastating unarmed damage. As a magic attack, Kratos rams the gauntlets against the ground to push enemies back. The Nemesis Whip is the ultimate weapon in the game - although it's pretty much up to you which weapon you want to use. The Nemesis Whip is similar to the Blades and the Claws, but it's electric, and it has several small swords attached to its two ends, which you can constantly rotate to deliver some slicing good time to your enemies. Non-surprisingly, you can electrocute your enemies with a chain lightning while you have the Whip equipped. In God of War II, the existence of the secondary weapons was all but secondary - in this game, it really does matter. The Blade of Olympus is now all but a special relic, useable only during a Rage state, this time dubbed Rage of Sparta. It should be noted that this Rage state is the weakest from all of the games - you don't do a whole lot of extra damage under the influence, and its duration is pathetic. It's only good for preserving your health, since you don't take any damage during a fit of Rage.

Kratos' ability to swing enemies towards their comrades is gone, and replaced with the "battering ram", which has Kratos grab a small-timer and use him as a shield as well as a weapon against others. My favourite wall-climbing combat ability is also gone, the one which had Kratos grab a dude by the neck and smash his head against the wall. Instead, he can throw them upwards, at other enemies descending down on you. You can now rotate any moveable object, which makes the already tricky puzzles that much trickier. There are less puzzles than before, but they're extremely cool. One pays tribute to the rhythm game phenomenon which had the world in its tight grasp not so long ago, and one's a gigantic puzzle cube straight out from The Cube, filled with many rooms that each have their own riddle based on 180 degrees to solve.

You took a nasty fall there, Helios. Let me give
you a nice neck massage... Kratos-style.

In addition to the mentioned Minotaur Horns, the classic Gorgon Eyes and Phoenix Feathers are still present, but there's not much else besides but tons of red orbs, which you will certainly need if you're aiming for the Maxed Out Trophy. It's not as easy as it sounds, since even if you start a new game on the same difficulty, your equipment and stats will not be carried over. Of course, you can always use Godly Possessions, which replace Urns of Power in this game as the overpowering collectables. However, as the game clearly states, if you activate even one Possession during a playthrough, even if it isn't connected to your agenda in any way, Trophies will be disabled for the rest of the game. Which is pretty damn frustrating, and a bit of an unfair way to keep someone playing the game over again and again with the purpose of absorbing each and every red orb available. They should've come up with a little more interesting environments if they were going to force feed the game.

I can imagine the bosses and other famously colossal parts of the game take up a LOT of space. That's probably why there are not much "stages" in the game. You practically move between Hades and Olympus all the time and you'll find yourself returning to the same spots over and over again, while in the first two major titles you just kept on pushing forward, practically never looking back. The amazing boss fights do compensate for a lot of the occasionally setting boredom, though - trust me, you think you've seen it all, but you haven't. Not in any game. You thought the steel colossus in God of War II was pretty cool, huh? Or the giant Zeus? Wait 'til you get a load of what God of War III has in store. I sincerely never thought to see boss fights this visually gratifying, violent and epic in my lifetime.

The camera's still a bugger. The cinematic side's OK, but during gameplay, many different problems rear heads. Some enemies have the annoying tendency to trap Kratos in a corner in the far dimension of the screen, and on many occasions your vision is completely blurred by a horde of enemies - you simply can't see whether you're able to block attacks. You might be lying on the ground getting mauled, for all you know. The camera angle doesn't change even then. Sometimes if you get too close to the opposite ledge while jumping, Kratos refuses to execute the double jump/glide combination for some odd reason, and falls down to his death, which can be pretty damn frustrating. Oh well, at least every small bit of narrow walkways was eliminated - knowing Sony, they would've taken the dumb way out and utilize the Sixaxis controller's motion detector, learning nothing from all the criticism towards it and ruining a small part of a great game.

The flying sequences along the Chain of Balance, the gateway between Hades and Olympus, are truly challenging, but to some degree, they suffer from the camera angle as well. There are really narrow gaps for Kratos to fly through, and they are unnecessarily hard to see with all the debris falling down and Kratos himself lodged in the middle of the screen in more than a medium size. It's all too much trial and error for my taste.

Still unpleasant, still cool.

That's about it for the pros and cons of God of War III, though I have to mention one more time, that promoting God of War: Chains of Olympus and the PSP itself so blatantly was a lame move by Sony. There are many instances in the plotline that point to events I remember never happening in the series; of course I don't, since the events took place in Chains of Olympus. I've grown to loathe PSP exclusives because of their ultimately strong ties to major titles, such as this. Dear Sony Computer Entertainment, it's not our fault the PSP's sales don't match up to your flagship - why do you keep annoying us fans with exclusives that are crucial parts of the franchise's storyline? First, it was Metal Gear. Then Assassin's Creed. Then God of War. Then, as a bonus, Kingdom Hearts. When will it end? Oh, well. It's easy to catch up with the missing parts of the story - just not being able to play them pisses me off.

God of War III is a fairly difficult game. Not quite the buttered up butt madness that God of War II was at its very worst, but fairly difficult. I made the mistake of forgetting how hard the God of War games can be, and coldly started off on Titan Mode (Hard), without any sort of warm-ups besides the playable demo of the game. I made it to The Caverns, which is about four hours into the game, and took the raping of a lifetime before I realized I really should start over on Normal. I got past the bit already on Hard on my second playthrough, but I can pretty much point out the spot where my game will unceremoniously END. I'll just have to see how far I get! The boss fights aren't that hard, they're meant to be enjoyable. Once you learn the basic strategies, which are sometimes quite tricky to figure out, you'll have next to no problems, you can just let it rip and then enjoy the QTE show. I bet there is no boss fight which you wouldn't enjoy in this game! At least three of them are just one or two levels above all the rest. The game comes complete with a set of 36 Trophies, some of which border on impossible. The notoriously difficult challenges are harder than ever, and personally, I won't believe beating the game on the hardest difficulty setting is humanly possible before I see it.

Lesbian maids be gone. The goddess of love
has some personal business with Kratos.

Other rewards for beating the game besides Trophies and good spirit - soon to be utterly destroyed by the seven challenges - are astounding. There's a series of extremely interesting making-of films that could easily be compiled to a DVD - which they apparently have been, in the U.S.. Not only is it a series of director Stig Asmussen praising himself and completely disregarding exiled series creator David Jaffe's efforts, it shows what it's really like to make a game, all the way from visual design to recording the voiceovers. The down- AND upside to the voice acting bit was that I was really distracted by Natalie "Pandora" Lander's cleavage. I didn't hear a word she said. Maybe I'll watch it again... and again.

God of War III is one beautiful game that you simply must experience, double that if you enjoyed the first two major installments in this innovative series of extremely violent and epic action extravaganzas. It does have some flaws which I hoped and believed to be filtered out of the scheme after the brand's transition to the PS3, but its best moments fully compensate for any of its "petty grievances". Who cares if hitching a ride hanging from the talons of a Harpy is totally corny and far fetched, and doesn't play out very smoothly either, when we have moments that will literally take your breath away in both visuals and combat strategies? Not many games are capable of inflicting that sort of reaction - but this was exactly what was expected of God of War III. And it delivers.

Graphics : 9.5
Sound : 9.5
Playability : 9.1
Challenge : 9.0
Overall : 9.0

Trivia

GameRankings: 92.04%

Art director Ken Feldman has stated that it would require two PlayStation 2 units just to load the new model of Kratos.

The website address attached to the Platinum Trophy King of the Hill (http://www.spartansstandtall.com) is actually a link to the teaser site of God of War: Ghost of Sparta.

Harry Hamlin, who voiced Perseus in the previous game, played Perseus in the 1981 movie Clash of the Titans. In a similar fashion, b-actor Kevin Sorbo who voices Hercules, is most known for his role as Hercules in Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, a cult TV show which ran for six seasons from 1995 to 1999.

REVIEW - Castlevania: Lords of Shadow (2010)

Genre(s): Action
Released: 2010
Available on: PS3, X360
Developer(s): MercurySteam, Kojima Productions
Publisher(s): Konami
Players: 1

In 2008, a Wii game called Castlevania Judgment was released. At the same time, Konami had employed a Spanish developer, MercurySteam, to work on a medieval action game heavily influenced by God of War, dubbed Lords of Shadow. Just a while later, a total of three bombs were dropped. First of all, Kojima Productions - known for a video game franchise I probably don't need to mention by name - was hired to assist MercurySteam. Second, it was going to be a Castlevania game, starring Simon Belmont and more or less another remake of the very first game, released in 1986. The third one came last: it was instead going to be a total reboot of the whole franchise, starring an unrelated Belmont, a holy knight fighting against a formless evil to avenge the death of his wife. That's when a majority of fans backed off. Although Castlevania might've been in dire need of a reboot, leaked bits and pieces of the storyline as well as the games looks showed that Lords of Shadow was going to take a whole different form than what people wanted when they saw the brand name gracing a new game's cover art. Lords of Shadow is a moderately good game, but it's not Castlevania, and as far as gameplay is concerned, I think we've seen all of it before... done better, at that.

I'm gonna stick this cross so far up your ass you're gonna...

STARRING
Robert Carlyle : Gabriel Belmont
Natascha McElhone : Marie Belmont
Aleksandar Mikic : Pan
Sir Patrick Stewart : Zobek
Grace Vance : Laura
Richard Ridings : Cornell
Emma Ferguson : Claudia
Eve Karpf : Baba Yaga
Adrian Schiller : Abbot Vincent Dorin
Sally Knyvette : Carmilla

The dead are walking the Earth due to a force only known as the Lords of Shadow casting a dark spell that prevents the souls of the deceased from ascending to the Heavens. Gabriel Belmont, the most antisocial, but also one of the most talented combatants of the Brotherhood of Light, sets out on a journey to untie the knot and avenge the recent murder of his wife Marie - who has also become an apparition. Not only are the Lords of Shadow responsible for her death, they are also connected to an ancient relic that holds the power to bring Marie back to life.

I don't want to sound stubborn, and I sure as hell don't want to sound like a purist, but the first thing that slaps me across the face about this game is that it's in 3D. This time, it's more of a Castlevania-related thing when it comes to the atmosphere, not a stab at the gameplay. The game is definitely playable, no doubt about it, but the more you advance in the game, the less it feels like Castlevania and the more it feels like there's a checklist of cliches, made cliches by games like God of War, its sequels and Shadow of the Colossus. The storyline's pretty good, I've got to admit, but it all plays out so familiarly. In Shadow of the Colossus, you could ride down a valley and really glare at a gigantic rock monster that spun over three whole TV screens with your mouth open before saying to yourself "I've got to fight that thing? Fuck it, I'm outta here!" In this game, a colossal titan smashing through a yay-thick lake ice from the beneath and pounding his mountain-sized fists at you doesn't really make that much of an impression any more. Neither does the way you're supposed to kill him - climb the dude and stab these highlighted runes on different parts of his body. Sound familiar?

Castlevania: Lords of Shadow is a reboot, which means that MercurySteam could've done whatever they wanted with it, but in my mind, they could've easily dropped the Castlevania title and rename the main character Gabriel Marlboro or something. The game wouldn't have turned out any better, but at least it wouldn't have to be criticized for not being a true Castlevania game. Reboot or not, the name Belmont, some familiar locations and an almost unrecognizable adaptation of "Vampire Killer" are not quite enough to make old fans feel comfortable. The only thing that really ties the game to the rest of the series is that it's HARD - surprisingly difficult for a game released since checkpoints started to light up on five-second intervals. That's it for criticizing Lords of Shadow as a Castlevania game. Let's look at it as an action game.

We've seen better graphics squeezed out of the PS3. Apparently there's more weight on making the environment look epic and feel "endless" instead of polishing each and every edge of the overall look. In my opinion, the game doesn't look that much better than the HD versions of the first two God of War games. Just a little bit more dynamic, perhaps, but the camera lies just as fixed and the game doesn't have a true "wow" moment, while God of Wars have plenty of them. Was kind of expecting one throughout the whole game, but it never came to be. In turn, Castlevania: Lords of Shadow is a longer game than any God of War - much, much longer.

The music has changed a lot, it doesn't have any classic Castlevania spirit in it. Bits of classic Castlevania music are "included", altered so heavily you wouldn't recognize them if you weren't the composer. "Vampire Killer" is indeed included with the rest of 'em, but as a sort of a tribute and it's almost unrecognizable - it's actually a part of a puzzle, so its appearance is that much more subtle. Mostly, the soundtrack (composed by MercurySteam's Oscar Araujo) consists of classical music, which ranges from epic battle music to simple, solemn flow. Not bad, but a little too familiar and nothing out of the ordinary. The voice acting is very professional, which is no wonder since we have Robert Carlyle doing Gabriel, and Captain Jean-Luc Pic... sorry, Sir Patrick Stewart as his very "seanconnerian" mentor Zobek, plus the gorgeous and talented Natascha McElhone as the ghost of Gabriel's wife Marie. Most of the characters speak in old, broken English, which is well articulated, but why all the unnecessary melodrama, I wonder? Stewart also does the narrative of the game as Zobek, and the narrative comes in after each level. A few times I found myself saying out loud: "God damn it, Stewart! This isn't a radio play, this is a game! Settle down!" Sometimes it really feels like these guys are getting into their roles a bit too much. I'm not a theatre critic, but I'm a watcher, a listener, and most of all, a player. I'm easily distracted by things that don't belong.

Got to admit, he has a lot more classic Belmont
in him than that anime freak they've got standing
in for Simon these days.

Let's start describing the game on a high note and point out what does separate it from 99% of the action games coming out in the modern times - stages. There's a set-up remotely similar to Uncharted here - Uncharted is divided into chapters, but those chapters begin and end as you continue your journey which never breaks. Each stage in Lords of Shadow is different, and in the beginning of each one your path to the previous stage is completely cut off. This set-up could be seen as a total opposite of open-world gameplay, which is more than prominent today, and I think it's a nice change. Each stage can be revisited at any time by choosing it on the world map. Oh yes, and I almost forgot: Lords of Shadow has chapters as well, 12 in all, which are all comprised of several stages (2-8), and they end upon you passing a certain point in the storyline. This chapter/stage thing is not that different from vintage Castlevania, if you think about it hard enough. "Stage 1, Block 3." Chapters can be seen as stages, and stages as blocks. See? I'm trying!

Let's lay low then, and talk about the plagiarism. That checklist I mentioned should almost be included as some sort of a bonus memo. Playing the game, you will certainly pick up stuff that has been seen before in some shape or form in every other action game that has emerged within the last ten years, not just God of War or Devil May Cry, or Shadow of the Colossus, which is so blatantly recycled that one would think Konami is in cahoots with Sony Computer Entertainment to promote their upcoming Ico Collection. There's also a bit of Uncharted - the climbing's pure Nathan Drake-ism, with worse controls though - a bit of Batman: Arkham Asylum, and a pile of Legacy of Kain thrown in for good, gothic measure. The game is diverse, for sure, but there are very few things that are totally unique about it.

Another low point is the control scheme. Gabriel's movement is very sensitive, which turns out a serious problem during extensive platform jumping. Especially in the case of moving platforms. This is an issue that Konami apparently noted from the start, so falling down a chasm doesn't kill you - it simply devours a good deal of your health, as long as you have health left. Way too much weight is put on abusing both analog sticks. They are pressed down to replenish your two different mana meters. Naturally, you can't move while absorbing mana, and it's mandatory to keep sucking those balls (wow) in boss fights in which it's even more mandatory to keep moving all the time and getting ready to dodge or counter your adversary's attacks. It's simply not comfortable. What's even less comfortable is to constantly mash the trigger buttons. They're needed for dodging, countering, gripping and every other combo in the game. Meanwhile, many fine buttons go to waste, buttons you would gladly unleash hell on. 36 stages down I found myself wondering if my poor Sixaxis controller would survive this ordeal - luckily it did. The general controls are very hard to master, and the combos... well, you're very easily stuck on executing basic attacks. You have to think fast, there's no time to start reminiscing how that one combo that would help you greatly went when there's a mad cook lunging a set of cleavers optimized for cutting human flesh at you.

The whole user interface is God of War mixed in with the much anticipated dose of unique. The health bar is presented in the upper left corner of the screen, and it's maxed out with Life Gems. In the lower left corner, we have the Light Magic bar, which is maxed out with Light Gems. Light Magic allows you to regain health with each successful strike - very, very fundamental in the late stages of the game. In the lower right corner, we have Shadow Magic, which is maxed out with - surprise, surprise - Shadow Gems. Shadow Magic allows you to perform some incredible combos and different feats outside battle, but you are more vulnerable to physical damage while you have the Shadow Magic active. In the upper right corner, there's a spot reserved for stage-specific key items and prompts to read the different scrolls left behind by Gabriel's brethren, who have fallen while trying to do his job before him. The scrolls are usually clues to the storyline, but they also work as clues for destroying certain enemies, and keys to solving the many puzzles in the game. All of the different Gems in the game are found on their corpses, too - sometimes, they're hidden more than well, naturally. In the bottom center of the screen is a Focus Bar, which is, to my knowledge, a completely unique invention. The Focus Bar fills every time you perform a successful counterattack, or manage to maul your enemy enough without getting hit even once. Once it's full, every successful strike will yield a Neutral Magic Orb, which you can then suck in by using the left stick (Light Magic) or right stick (Shadow Magic). Again, it might sound like a fool's errand, but believe me, even if you don't really need any sort of magic at first, you WILL. You will need it so badly that some stage-specific challenges, dubbed the infamous "trials", require you to beat stages, including boss stages, without using a certain type of magic. The trials have brought seasoned players to their knees, so you can just imagine how hard they are.

Uh... I'd really appreciate your input, Wander!

The more the game progresses, the more you might see classic Castlevania in it, although it still might not really feel like a Castlevania game. Gabriel's primary weapon is the Combat Cross, which isn't really a formal name for it. It's a cross, and it's used for combat - I don't think Gabriel's Brotherhood ever gave it a name. It will gain a very familiar nickname as you make progress. I was going to say I won't spoil anything, but I guess I already did. The secondary weapons are half vintage Castlevania, and half unique. There's a limit to how many certain type of weapons you can carry at once, and the limit can be maxed out by finding and emptying the many Brotherhood Arks in the game, usually available via a certain upgrade to your abilities - hence the constant possibility to return to any already beaten stage. The Holy Water and Throwing Daggers are weapons we all know from the days of yore, but then we have a bunch of annoying (but naked, mmm) fairies that are there to literally annoy and distract the enemy, and the Dark Crystal. The Dark Crystal is a very curious weapon. You can carry only one at a time, and even that one you need to assemble from four pieces. There's a reason for this weapon being so hard to obtain; it unleashes a powerful summoning attack, that kills most enemies in the game regardless of their health, and drains a great deal from even bosses. In other words, it's an essential weapon to have along if you have doubts about your skills.

To return to the controls and general feel for a bit, there are a few more low points, but a high point as well. The one high point according to many - I don't really have an opinion one way or the other - is the fact that most QTE's in the game can be executed with any action button, as long as the timing is right. This is praised because in most games, you find yourself concentrating more on the buttons than on what's actually happening on the screen. The lowest of the low points is the fact that Lords of Shadow dons the most awkward camera angles ever; I spent half an hour trying to figure out how to get ahead in two very simple stages, just because the camera was set so that I couldn't see the only route I could take, it looked like a dead end from my current view. In both cases, I finally found the correct paths by pure accident by just running around in circles. The on/off grappling system is also a bit awkward to those who have grown used to holding the button down as long as you want your grip to last.

The many puzzles in the game switch between retarded (as in extremely easy) to very hard ones which demand a good eye and sense for the butterfly effect - in this case I mean one certain puzzle. There are three circles with a bit of bridge jutting out. You need to form a complete bridge by using the three circles, and there's a limit to how many moves you can make. Turning one of the circles will turn the next one to the opposite direction - for example, if you turn the center circle, all the circles will turn. I suck at these kind of puzzles, that and the limit's why I regard this particular puzzle the hardest one in the game. The solution's always the same, though, so now I've memorized it after completing its trial. This kind of puzzle is why I never really got into The Incredible Machine in elementary school, while all my friends were playing it. There are a few puzzles like it in the later stages of the game, but without the annoying limit. In turn, many puzzles can be solved with a simple case of trial and error, which makes them very easy. It's kind of funny to gain something like 2000 EXP for a puzzle that took you about five seconds to figure out. There's also a chess-like minigame, which looks really hard to win, but actually, there's nothing difficult about it. It's not very fun, either. What's unique about all the game's puzzles is that you can quit them any time you like and unlock their solutions from your travel book. However, since solving a puzzle grants you EXP, it should be no surprise that cheating doesn't.

The travel book's a must. It's Gabriel's journal on EVERYTHING. Brotherhood scrolls, enemy stats, their weaknesses, combos, the specifics of each enemy you can mount and use to your advantage in combat and the field (God of War III-check), everything. In addition, once you have cleared a stage, you can check how many special items you missed in that particular stage, and the specifics of the unlocked trial. If you have some extra EXP, you can buy artwork from each stage paying a fairly small EXP fee. What would you do with artwork, you ask? Well, gain a Trophy/Achievement, what else?!

Hmm. An engravement of a cross. Shaped just
like mine, sized just like mine. Pro'ly nuthin'.

The thing that keeps a lot of young players going, I reckon, is the fact that Castlevania: Lords of Shadow is a simple game to plat. I seriously don't mean it's easy - I just mean that there are no random or ridiculous Trophy or Achievement requirements, it's all what you'd normally do if you'd be trying to beat the game to 100%. As tradition goes, 100% isn't enough for a Castlevania title - 110% is needed in every stage to completely beat the game. The extra 10% comes from beating a stage on the Paladin difficulty, which will hand you your ass on a plate again and again. If you're not completely devoted to the game, you will have a very hard time. The friend I borrowed this game from platted it in just a few days, but he's a very stubborn Castlevania fan. We've had many verbal fights about how this review should turn out - I hated the game at first, to tell you the truth. In time, it started to grow on me, but I must say, I'm still not totally pleased with it. Besides, I just beat God of War III for the first time, which makes Lords of Shadow's shameless thefts from Sony's flagship series even that much more obvious to me. This friend of mine never really got into God of War, so until he does, I won't blame him for praising this game and dissing Kratos' epic journey in turn. But, back to the topic, Castlevania: Lords of Shadow - praise be to its difficulty and length. Almost 30 hours of gameplay is very rare in the action genre these days. Also, we can't forget the extra challenge brought on by the trials and finding all the hidden stuff. The harder difficulty settings bring in another few points to the overall challenge.

All in all, Castlevania: Lords of Shadow is a good play, if you just can't get enough of 3D slashers. It fails to live up to its obvious influences - although I must yet again declare I never really got into Shadow of the Colossus for some odd reason - but it is a good game. Not really an essential Castlevania title, and even less a unique game when it comes to the modern action genre, but definitely a solid experience I'm sure many people will find downright fascinating. I hope that if and when this game spawns its own ridiculous amount of sequels, that MercurySteam would come up with some more original ideas and try to make the game a little more approachable to nitpicking 'Vania fans that are into subtleties, such as myself. And, if they bring Jean-Luc back, they should give him a couple of 'pams before each recording session.

Graphics : 8.0
Sound : 7.9
Gameplay : 7.5
Challenge : 9.4
Overall : 7.7

Trivia

GameRankings: 82.92% (PS3), 82.65% (X360)

Gabriel's final character design was one of advisor Hideo Kojima's most essential inputs to the game's final form.

Gabriel's crimson armour with golden decoration was designed after Simon Belmont's attire in the cover art of Castlevania II: Simon's Quest.

In the Japanese version of the game, the Chupacabras' faces are designed after that of Hideo Kojima. The Solid Eye and Solid Snake's bandana from Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots are unlockable items.

There are many references to the original Castlevania series, as well as other game franchises. One that I personally found most intriguing was that a fallen Brotherhood knight has written a scroll lamenting the death of his two friends, Brother Bernard and Sister Laverne. The scroll is signed by "H." - Hoagie. Bernard, Laverne and Hoagie are the legendary trio of protagonists in LucasArts' classic point 'n' click adventure game Maniac Mansion: Day of the Tentacle.

Good vs. Evil - John Marston & Edgar Ross

An outlaw for the ages.

JOHN MARSTON
a.k.a. "The man from Blackwater"
Voice actor(s): Rob Wiethoff
Appears in: Red Dead Redemption (2010)

What does it take to be the most bad-ass protagonist in a game made by Rockstar Games? A mute, leather-clad killing machine? An ex-convict working his way out of the mob and attempting to take over an 80's metropolitan? An exceptionally foul-mouthed gangbanger trying to take over a whole state, or a Serbian war veteran living a life of crime to save his cousin's miserable life? The answer to all of these is no. What it takes is to be a family man - an ill-fated outlaw desperately trying to lead a new life as an honest rancher, blackmailed to hunt down his former partners in crime. John Marston had his wife and son taken away from him by two crooked government agents taking advantage of their positions. The only way John could save his family was to bring the people who raised him, this orphaned son of a Scottish immigrant and an American prostitute, to justice. There's nothing that John wouldn't do for his family. Even if it meant killing men he once considered as brothers, working for people that disgusted him from head to toe, or taking both sides in a Mexican revolution. All that mattered was protecting his beloved.

John was very much like Clint Eastwood's William Munny in The Unforgiven, which is the best Western movie ever made, bar none, if you ask me: calm and polite, yet determined and if need be, excessively violent. Unlike all other Rockstar characters that have emerged since Grand Theft Auto abandoned all censorship in terms of language, John rarely cursed, and never in the vicinity of women or children. Women loved John - he wasn't much of a looker, but in his nature he was the kind of man that doesn't grow on trees. He was extremely polite towards women and protective of them. Even if he had but one goal during his journey across the New Austin prairie, he always made time for himself to save the occasional damsel in distress, and other people he found wrongfully accused. John was an angel... or demon, if you necessarily wanted him to be.

SPOILER WARNING! John's life came to an abrupt end on his very own ranch. Agent Edgar Ross, who had orchestrated the kidnapping of John's family, lied when he told John his past crimes would be erased after he had killed his old gang. Ross saw John as a pest, and the last outlaw on his path to receiving the medal and pension he so coveted for. When John least expected it, Ross invaded Beecher's Hope with the U.S. Army by his side, with plans to execute the whole family. The hero John was, he helped Abigail and Jack to escape the ranch just in time, and sacrificed himself for his family in a hail of bullets. He knew that as long as he lived, there would be no chance for the ones he loved, to live a decent life. The image of John taking his last breath before falling to the ground, his body covered with blood, is forever remembered as one of the most breath-taking, heart-stopping moments in video game history.

John Marston was awarded "Best Video Game Character of 2010" by IGN. Congratulations to our favourite virtual cowboy for a well deserved victory.

Jumped the shark?
John's death scene is without a doubt the scene in which the whole game jumps the shark, but I guess I should be looking for a little more positive instance here. John has an extremely vast array of amazing dialogue, but one punchline that really made me laugh out loud was something he said to Irish. The scene is the one in which Irish is smuggling John across the Mexican border. Irish has told John he has a lot of friends in Mexico, and that there wouldn't be any opposition towards them. Well, as it turns out, Irish once again tells his own version of the truth and their raft is attacked by a large group of Mexican bandits. John takes care of the shooting while Irish tries to keep in control of the raft. At one point, he asks John if he knows what the Mexican word for "cunt" is. John's quick and sincere response is: "You tell me. You must've been called it a few times." Cue uncontrollable laughter.

Hit rock bottom?
I'd love to say John Marston never hit rock bottom, and so I will: he never hit rock bottom. Yet, there are a few characters in Red Dead Redemption who John was perhaps too easy towards. He let disgusting and irreversibly sick people live 'cause their affairs were not his business, but considering his nature, it would've been perfectly natural for him to grab his shotgun and blow their brains out without asking any questions. Even if these people helped John to get closer to his goal, leaving them alive was a liability I didn't believe John would've let linger.

---

What a piece of shit.

EDGAR ROSS
Voice actor(s): Jim Bentley
Appears in: Red Dead Redemption (2010)

Edgar Ross was one vile, disgusting human being. This government agent from the earliest days of the FBI didn't just want to purge the West, he wanted to speed up the flow of time as he was so fascinated with modern technology. In Ross' most self-absorbed moments the player was truly asked the question of how low can one man go. He used John, and even his own partner Farnham, to do things he couldn't. He sent his "inferiors" to suicide missions while he was sitting behind a desk or in his car, dreaming about the medal he would be granted for his "bravery" and "single-handedly purging the state of outlaws" by the U.S. government. He was similar to John in a sense that he was a family man and the only people that truly cared for him were his wife and brother, who didn't even see the devil or technofreak in Ross. They saw a kind, intelligent man, who loved nature and fishing.

SPOILER WARNING! Ross commanded the U.S. Army to kill the Marston family only to lay back and enjoy the show himself with his huge cigar. John was killed in the onslaught, but Abigail and Jack survived. After Abigail's death two years later, Jack took on his father's mantle and set out to find the man who killed him. Through clues to his whereabouts, Jack found out Ross had indeed gained a medal and a huge pension to last him a lifetime for his "efforts" to make the Wild West but a memory. Jack's anger grew so that he didn't care the least bit for Ross even after questioning his family members about his location. He finally found Ross fishing on a river bank in Mexico. In the most memorable duel of the game, Jack gunned down his father's killer and left his body flowing down the river stream, never to be found. Like Ross himself once said something of the sort: each crime has consequences, and you can't escape your past.

Jumped the shark?
Edgar Ross is such as a nasty villain that the line between jumping the shark and hitting rock bottom is very thin. I think "jumping the shark" in this case would be a moment during which Edgar Ross shows some signs of humanity, and there are absolutely none of those. He's a character that was meant to be loathed by everyone. I guess he jumped the shark in those two missions in which he finally grabbed a gun and joined the action himself, instead of just ordering people around.

Hit rock bottom?
If we continue on the principles of the last paragraph, Edgar Ross hit rock bottom every time he appeared on the screen - the rock bottom of humanity. His facial expressions, his gestures, every word that comes out of his mouth... can a man possibly love himself as much as this dude? To save himself, John really should've had this guy assassinated. John wasn't the smartest man around, but I believe even he must've had a hunch that this guy would've stopped at nothing and that his promises were completely useless.

Good vs. Evil - Mario & Bowser

I have long planned some sort of a weekly feature for VGMania. Inspired by my recent return to the God of War series - reviews of God of War III and Castlevania: Lords of Shadow will be published back to back as soon as possible, by the way - I came up with this idea to list the best boss fights in history. However, that would be just impossible and extremely biased thing to do. If I were to compile a Top 50 of the best boss fights in history, I reckon at least half of them would be from the God of War and Metal Gear franchises combined. Not really what I'm after when I'm writing a list.

Good vs. Evil is a weekly profile on one video game hero and his/her villainous counterpart. In this case, we have Mario and Bowser opening this show since they sincerely were the first ones to come to mind when I started to think about the most legendary hero and villain in video game history. Even if you're not a Mario fan, I don't think you can blame me.

I believe this is going to be a lot of fun, and even if my pace of writing reviews might have slowed down a little, you will most certainly have this entry to chew on, every week from here on out. Enjoy.

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MARIO
a.k.a. Mr. Video, Jumpman
Voice actor(s): Ronald B. Ruben, Marc Graue, Charles Martinet (current)
First game: Donkey Kong (1981)
Latest game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 (2010)

Mario as the carpenter
"Jumpman" in Donkey
Kong

Spend all your time tallying up your lifetime frag count in the Quake multiplayer room? Enjoy blasting hookers' brains out in Grand Theft Auto? Laughing maniacally whenever you successfully QTE-gut someone in God of War? Whether you're into the soft side of video gaming or not, you must take note that your favourite passtimes were made possible by the most recognizable character in video game history. Mario has been Nintendo's mascot for the past 30 years. Sure, he took a little dive in popularity in the mid-90's, when  Sony stepped into the fray to steal most of Nintendo's exclusive contracts and technically outdo the former megapower again and again, but his diversity and already established fame helped him through the ordeal. Some of us more mature players have come to know Mario as a total bad-ass, a legendary figure from our past. No video game character can survive as commercially strong as ever for three whole decades. No one, except Mario, who once had a global phenomenon named after him - the Mario Mania.

During the course of three decades, the pudgy plumber has starred in every kind of game imaginable. Several beat 'em ups, racers, puzzles, sports games, role-playing games, you name it. What he's most famous for, of course, is the Super Mario series of platformers. Before that began to take shape in 1985, he had already been in the arcades chasing down his rampant pet gorilla in 1981's Donkey Kong, as the villain in the sequel Donkey Kong Jr., and a plumber charged with pest control in the sewers of New York City in 1983's Mario Bros.. Super Mario Bros. was the game in which Mario began his quest for world domination. In this legendary platformer, Mario navigated the horizons of the surreal Mushroom Kingdom together with his brother Luigi, on a quest to save a princess kidnapped by the evil King Koopa. This storyline is still used to some extent in every new Mario game, and apparently it never ceases to work. To date, the game, which was bundled with the Nintendo Entertainment System for the longest time, has sold over 40 million copies. Overall, Mario games have sold over 210 million copies.

Mario as he appears
in Super Mario World

Jumped the shark?
Just the thought of naming Mario's very best moment seems like a waste of time, but personally, I would have to name Super Mario 64 (1996) the best Mario game of all time. The moment a 3D Mario jumped out of a pipe and actually talked to you, a 12-year old kid still recovering from a 16-bit fever, felt like time had just stopped. Before that, there was Super Mario World. And before that, Super Mario Bros. 3, which I still regard as one of the most innovative and influential games of all time. So, I think that no matter how much I dislike Mario's most recent escapades, the man has jumped the shark so many times that he will always remain one of my favourite video game characters of all time.

Hit rock bottom?
First, there were these games that weren't even developed by Nintendo - Software Toolworks' educational trash decorated with Mario's name. They are still the games in which I think the likeness of Mario hit rock bottom in just every way imaginable, but I also have to mention my personal issues with the more than critically acclaimed Super Mario Galaxy series. They're innovative and decent games, for sure, but naming them the best Mario games in history shows how unprofessional some critics are. I find them boring. Not bad, but boring - and boring is far from what the Mario series used to mean to me, and what those old games still mean to me. It should also be noted within this context, that Mario was the first video game character that came to life on the silver screen, played by Bob Hoskins. Super Mario Bros. stands as the one prime example of how live-action movies based on video games can be nasty business. Casting the late, great Dennis Hopper as the subject of the next profile is one of the greatest crimes committed against all humanity.

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BOWSER
a.k.a. King Koopa, Daimao Koopa, King Bowser, Prince Bowser
Voice actor(s): Marc Graue, Isaac Marshall, Eric Newsome, Scott Burns, Kenny James (current)
First game: Super Mario Bros. (1985)
Latest game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 (2010)

Bowser is an epitaph. Long before we had victims of some sort of conspiracies rising to take over the world in a fit of rage and jealousy, or genetic freaks looking to build an army of clones of themselves and threatening the world with a nuclear strike, Bowser emerged as the main villain of Super Mario Bros., being evil just because being evil was fun. Of course, back then he was known as King Koopa, and who would've believed that seemingly retarded green bundle of pixels would soon take over as one of the most memorable and persistent villains in video game history?

Bowser as he appears in
Super Mario Bros. 3

Bowser's true name and face came alive in Super Mario Bros. 3 in 1988, and the rest is history. Mario had to conquer seven worlds, Bowser's equal amount of children and the demonic Dark Land to reach the big cheese himself. In one of the most epic and innovative boss fights ever seen at the time, direct action was not an option. Instead of spamming him with fireballs, Mario had to use Bowser's own destructive force to emerge as the victor. What made the potential victory even more rewarding was the fact that Super Mario Bros. 3 was the lengthiest video game ever conceived, and it didn't have any sort of save feature. Bowser kind of skipped the otherwise magnificent Super Mario World when it comes to truly epic boss fights, but he redeemed himself in Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island, in which his early incarnation, the mischeavous Prince Bowser was transformed into one giant, pissed off infant by court magician Kamek - and who could possibly forget Mario and Bowser's first of many epic confrontations in Super Mario 64?

Jumped the shark?
This is surprisingly easy to answer! Super Mario Kart was the first game that allowed us to use Bowser as a playable character, but the true "jump the shark" - and also "what the fu..." - moment for Bowser was when he aligned himself with Mario and his friends for the very first time in Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars. Of course, the great demon king did not see himself as a temporary member of Mario's party, he rather saw Mario, whom he claimed to have begged him for a spot in this distinguished army, a temporary member of the Koopa Troop. Bowser would've never admitted it, but he needed Mario to get his castle back from the group of aliens who took over and go back to his princess-kidnapping ways. Then again, Mario also needed him, since what would a Mario game be without one kidnapped Peach (Toadstool.) and one impish, giant turtle behind it all?

I know, Bowser, it was one shitty game, but
there's no need to cry about it.

Hit rock bottom?
Of course, I could once again disturb Dennis Hopper's distinguished memory by dragging the legendary actor into this, but I'll just opt for a game that totally embarrassed Bowser: Mario's Time Machine for the NES. In the final confrontation with Bowser, Mario easily dispatched his nemesis, after which he was shown CRYING in the very anticipated final screen, which told us that the game had finally ended. Of course, whoever designed the game (Brian Carpenter.) could not have destroyed Bowser's legacy that easily - the game itself was so fucking embarrassing.

REVIEW - Castlevania: Harmony of Dissonance (2002)

Genre(s): Action / Platform / RPG
Released: 2002
Available on: GBA
Developer(s): Konami
Publisher(s): Konami
Players: 1

Fed up with Castlevania games he wasn't involved with and which turned out to be not to his liking, Koji Igarashi took the lead in the development of Konami's second Game Boy Advance title. His aim was to create a true successor to Castlevania: Symphony of the Night and a game that felt like Castlevania altogether, from gameplay to atmosphere and character design. He wanted the story to be one that could be easily fitted into the Castlevania timeline even without the application of age-old concepts. The result was Castlevania: Harmony of Dissonance, another much debated Castlevania title, which in my opinion was a good effort by Konami. Not much of an audiovisual treat, but a fairly captivating 'Vania experience.

Symphony of the harmony of the innocence of the darkness... let's just play it.

Juste Belmont is an incredibly talented vampire hunter with the Belmont and Belnades blood flowing within him, making him adept in both physical and magical skill. Fifty years ago, Juste's grandfather Simon destroyed Dracula by gathering his remains and resurrecting him, only to put an end to the curse that ailed him and to the scourge of Dracula forever. Juste's best friend Maxim has been gone for two years, on a training expedition. He returns badly wounded, suffering from a severe case of amnesia, and with bad news; Juste and Maxim's childhood friend Lydie Erlanger has been kidnapped. Maxim leads Juste to the scene, where a dark castle has appeared out of thin air. While investigating the dark corridors of the castle, Juste finds it to be Dracula's abode, but no signs of the prince of darkness are present. What evil is at work?

"What is a man? A miserable mile of blue
outline."

What the game is to fanatics of the Castlevania storyline and how it plays out like are things that are easy to explain. Harmony of Dissonance is more or less a direct sequel to 1987's Castlevania II: Simon's Quest, a game that I have bashed so generously that I probably need not explain how much I dislike it. The main character Juste Belmont is closer in style, all the way from his movement to his clothing and looks, to Alucard than any of his ancestors. His swift, almost demonic movement and skill are explained by the fact that he has a better dose of both the Belmont and Belnades blood pumped into him than his couple of predecessors. He could be seen as the perfect piece of sub-sperm born from that one night Trevor and Sypha got a little drunk and personal hundreds of years ago. I could come up with all kinds of jokes, but I digress.

The gameplay's pure Symphony of the Night, with a few unique features. The stand-alone game Circle of the Moon came pretty close to the PlayStation classic in terms of gameplay, but Harmony of Dissonance brings back relics, the spellbook and item shop, among other things, and of course, the classic Castlevania atmosphere. Alucard's natural speed and dodging skill are brought back, and Nathan's neat slide kick from the previous game is brought back as an upgrade. The game is ugly, it sounds even worse, it's overtly Japanese in its anime style, but for the most part, it's a very controllable and playable Metroidvania experience.

Harmony of Dissonance does look better, or at least more dimensional and dynamic than Circle of the Moon, and the sheer size of the map takes up quite a lot of capacity from the Game Boy Advance, so the graphics aren't fit to be excessively criticized. However, I just can't get used to the thick, blue outline that surrounds Juste. He looks like a remnant of an ambitious NES project that never came to be. The character design's quite bland, but in turn the level design is quite OK, and surreal effects rule the show. The differences between the alternative realities - yeah, Konami got a bit stuck on the Silent Hill schtick - are notable.

There's no way around the fact that the music sucks. Some die-hards defend the soundtrack with their lives on the line, but I think they're just begging to differ for the sake of being contrarians. There's absolutely no vintage Castlevania music in the game, and this time that is definitely not the only problem with the soundtrack. Soshiro Hokkai makes Michiru Yamane look like a genius. The music is repetitive and twitchy, like it's written and even sequenced for an old, standard Game Boy game. I can't help but to join the majority: as much as I wanted to like the music in this game, I must say that the game has the worst soundtrack in Castlevania history, it's right down there with Yamane's Lament of Innocence soundtrack. Koji Igarashi has later said they intentionally sacrificed music for the graphics. WHY? First of all, the game doesn't look that special and secondly, music is a crucial part of Castlevania! I thought this guy wanted to bring back the genuine article, and not destroy an important element of it! Once again there are notably bad sound effects as well. The death scream from the previous game is still there to haunt - although deaths aren't quite as prominent as they were last time around - and the feminine, Japanese scream Juste lets out whenever he gets poisoned or cursed is just revolting.

Quite a lot of size for a pathetic wretch!

The DSS system from the previous game is scrapped, due to Igarashi liking it, but deeming that it was not the kind of mana system a modern Castlevania game should have. However, he didn't want to repeat Symphony of the Night's features (read: mistakes) either. Your only primary weapon in the game is the Vampire Killer, but you can modify it with several different stones or other artifacts to enforce it with offensive attributes. You can use the whip as a shield and swing it 'round like in Super Castlevania IV, which is really cool. Juste apparently hasn't found the tome which would unlock the secret to whip the Killer to eight different directions, though.

Spellbooks are actually worth something this time. No more complex combos: the spells are based on your current secondary weapon alone. For example, if you have a boomerang equipped, try equipping the Fire Book as well. You can then unleash a potentially deadly, fiery boomerang attack, as long as your MP meter and hearts can take it. Sadly, the book doesn't switch off automatically. You always need to return to the menu and switch it off manually, if you're out of MP and feel the need to use the standard boomerang.

I've got to admit, he's one capable Belmont.

The game starts out like any Metroidvania game and remains that way for the first three or four hours. Checking the map again and again reveals that you're making progress real fast, perhaps too fast - there's got to be something wrong, since you still can't reach certain places and you've already cleared 85% of the map. Well, that 85% finally reveals to be the completion of Castle A. In addition, there's Castle B, and Castle A+B. You see, inspired by the concept of the "Otherworld" in the Silent Hill series, the developers decided to create three different realities for this game. One's pretty basic for a Castlevania game, the second is a run-down castle which seems to have been abandoned for the last century or so, and the third one's from the between, not quite one way or the other. There's a fine dose of surrealism, right there, but it also means some of the worst and most tedious backtracking in the franchise's history - the amount of backtracking which you are ready for is not enough. You see, some passageways that are not open in the "real" castle, might be in its darker counterpart, and vice versa. Unfortunately, the only pathways between the realities are the classic teleports introduced in Symphony of the Night, and there's only a handful of them on the whole map.

So, the worst issue about Harmony of Dissonance is that it turns out perhaps the most aimless game of all Metroidvanias. The worst thing about the map is that unlike the previous games, it declares corners done by the slightest touch. For example, if you have not yet acquired the ability to slide and make it to a room that has an important item on its other side - which you can't reach without the slide - you just leave and come back for it later, right? The room's still marked in dark grey, right? It's easy to spot, right? No. If you made it to the room itself, it shows on the map as an already visited spot, which of course prompts any old Metroid player to stay away from it for the rest of the game. You can't memorize all of these places. The most practical thing for you to do would be to draw a copy of the map on paper and mark the spots you couldn't reach before, but that's just tedious extra work for someone who just wants to play a game.

The number. Look at the number. Shall we
leave it here? No, still two more castles to
go. Damn.

To compensate for the worst back-and-forth trip in the history of Metroid, 'Vania and Metroidvania, we have perfect controls on the mark with Symphony of the Night, and perhaps even better. It's smooth and comfortable to play, a huge upgrade from the stiff Circle of the Moon. The difficulty level of the game is bit of a downgrade - of course, it has some benefits over the frustrating difficulty of Circle of the Moon. Although most of its "difficulty" is based on simply trying to find the right path each time, the game is a bit harder than Symphony of the Night, once again the appearance of save points isn't quite on the mark. However, the bosses are easy to beat with the right weaponry, there's a lot of items and methods to conserve and maintain health, and platform jumping is pretty much limited to the terror that has plagued Castlevania games since day one: the Clock Tower, complete with Medusa Heads and Harpies. The game will take a relatively long time to beat, though, even if you're being all casual about it. As always, there's a hard mode or two to unlock, as well as three multiple endings.

Castlevania: Harmony of Dissonance is not perfect, but despite its dull moments it's definitely a solid gaming experience, in my mind it's the real Castlevania game that Konami had been bombarded for by many fans for quite a while back in the day. I have to admit that I didn't have the time to beat the game, since a friend's pressuring me to take on Castlevania: Lords of Shadow, beat and review it before the first DLC comes out - it's his game. But, I will return to Harmony of Dissonance to take care of the few ends I left loose soon enough - it's good enough for me to care. The next handheld game Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow still stands as one of the proudest moments of the Game Boy Advance - all but an honorary mention since it has already been reviewed a long time ago. A shame, really. I would've loved to review it again after experiencing these predecessors to it. Perhaps I will, some day.

Graphics : 7.7
Sound : 5.5
Playability : 8.0
Challenge : 8.2
Overall : 7.9

Trivia

GameRankings: 85.03%